There are some rare days when I can look at myself or feel myself up and think I'm skinny. But those are RARE. Most days, I feel fat. I look in the mirror and I see fat. I believe know I'm fat. I could weigh 50 pounds and look worse than a holocaust survivor, but when I look in the mirror, I will still see this:
I cannot explain it. I cannot answer "How can you not see yourself?!" and similar questions. THAT right there is how I see myself. You can tell me I'm thin/emaciated/going to die. It really doesn't make a difference. I'm still fat.
And getting fatter by the second, I think. I started school yesterday. 3 days a week, from 6-9. That means I can't work out on Tues./Weds./Thurs. I did good yesterday - only had 250 cals. Hopefully can keep it up on the non-workout days...
So far today, I ate: cereal (75), coffee (5).
I know how that is... I'm the same way. Body dysmorphic disorder, I think it's called. Sucks... I was just talking about that with my friend... people say that you look skinny, but all you see is gigantic blobs of fat.
ReplyDeleteHang in there... be careful...
I have that issue too..... It doesn't matter what people say.
ReplyDeleteThey don't understand that them expecting you to believe what they are saying is like you trying to tell them the same thing.
They would say 'yeah right, I know what I look like'.
But so do we.... in our minds, we know exactly what we look like.... and we hate it
I hate those comment. Don't people realize that their comments are nothing but rhetorical? If we saw what they say, then maybe we wouldn't be disordered. Some people just don't get it. And I think if you don't get it, you should shut your mouth and walk away.
ReplyDeleteWho are you, marbleyes....to comment if you don't want to be here.........?
ReplyDeleteSB i soooooo understand...and i don't know what to do....for any of us....
Annnnnnnd i had the BEST dream last night....i went to my primary care doc, who is a sweetheart, and he said, are you ready for this, "You are losing to much weight."
If only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!