Horror Movie Hoedown Episode 3, plus general nonsense

 [EDIT: because of some idiot shitposting a load of comments about A MINOR'S boobs, anonymous comments have been disabled. Sorry for any annoyance this causes.]


In continuing my journey thru all the movies of that Buzzfeed post, the remaining unwatched films were either not readily available to watch, or were not free to watch, so I shan't be offering any opinion on them. Thus concludes my half arsed film review series.

Some general updates since my "hey y'all I'm not dead post" a while back:

The Bros and I went to see Wovenhand in Brooklyn.

Y'all should know at this point of my obsession with the music of Wovenhand. 

I got to say hey to DEE, and naturally acted like a bumbling buffoon. 

My friend Cyn and I went to Paducah, Kentucky at the end of September for the BBQ on the River Festival and basically did nothing but eat ribs and brisket and biscuits and gravy for a week. We also got to spend a couple days with Tempest, which was beyond amazing. A morning of Geocaching occurred, good times all round. 

Some highlights:

We drove to Kentucky, taking 2 driving days each way. Our halfway point is and will always be in West Virginia, because TUDOR'S BISCUIT WORLD.

I usually don't take photos of my food, but this is the best breakfast of biscuits and gravy you will ever have. 

We ate our way through the Festival in Paducah, KY with great enthusiasm.

one BBQ vendor of many

At our halfway stop on the way home, we made friends with this cat at the Super 8.

For Cyn's birthday, she received her very own 18th century gown. She's been wearing mine for years on Halloween, and when I saw this one gown with a peacock colour paisley design, it was just screaming her name too loudly for me not to get it for her. 

I've made some alterations to an older gown for my costume this year. Harleyquinn has discovered that panniers (the rigid underskirt necessary for Baroque fashion) make very nice beds.

I have to imagine that women in the 1700s also discovered this, and wandered about their homes with cats sleeping on their dresses. 


In other fun news, this past Saturday night, apparently my drunk ass ordered an entire pizza from the take out place next door to my apartment building, and I ate half of it. I have no memory of doing this. And it's doubly perplexing because, as most of you know, I HATE cheese. 

300 mg of seroquel in action, my friends. Pretty sure my liver is the 8th natural wonder of the world. 

some new album reviews.......

This post is me talking to hear (read?) myself talk, because 99% of you probably do not give a crap about any of the bands I'm about to blather on about. 


This month, three of my favourite bands of all time released new albums. I cannot remember the last time this happened (probably not since early high school), as the vast majority of the bands I listen to have long since disbanded.*


The Commandments According to SCAC

by Slim Cessna's Auto Club

Not gonna lie, I was super disappointed by this album. But not surprised, because I have noticed a pattern. Ever since Rebecca Vera got more heavily involved with them, their music has suffered. And not just SCAC. Their side project, Denver Broncos UK is definitely not something I would listen to again, and Munly's last solo album was a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge disappointment considering how amazing the previous albums were (.....if a bit ok fine a lot strange). 

The members of SCAC have always made some strange music, but it was good strange. This album just sounds weird and disjointed, and not in a good way. I will still love them unconditionally, but I don't think I'll be rushing out to get this on vinyl. 


Unseen

by The Handsome Family

This is classic Handsome Family, which is nice because their last couple albums were sort of a big departure from their usual sound. Lots of good melodies and wonderful storytelling.

I am currently using all of my willpower to restrain myself from buying the record because I'm going to see them next Friday and I'd rather buy the record directly off of Rennie and Brett and have them sign it. 


and finally.....

Star Treatment

by Wovenhand.

Holy sh*t. 

I don't know how the heck he does it. David Eugene Edwards has been consistently producing amazing music since the very early 90's and has once again blown me away. I don't even know how to describe the music on this album. It's like a crazy mix of metal/folk/blues/punk/David Bowie. "The Hired Hand" (which I've posted previously) is still my favourite track, but the other songs are all just as good. 

So go buy it. 



Have a good weekend, y'all!




































*Pun intended.

Give up your dead.

This week has been fairly insane. I have never been so excited to sit home and do absolutely nothing.

Monday night, shortly after arriving home, the fire department arrived outside our building. Lady next door had a burst pipe or something in her kitchen, which flooded her apartment, the migrant farmers' apartment below her, and the basement dwellers' apartment. Praise be to God, my apartment was totally undamaged.

But they had to cut the power so as to avoid potential electrical fires. And because the landlord and not the fire department cut the power, the electric company informed us we would need an Official Okay from an electrician and the Official Okay from the town building inspector before they would turn the power back on.

So Tuesday morning, I sent Drummerboy to the apartment (he's an electrician), and we had the power back on by Tuesday evening.

Also Tuesday evening, I met one of the New Zealand cousins and his wife, who were staying at Dad's house for a couple of days. His wife is originally from Alabama, and her hybrid Southern Belle/New Zealand accent is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Wednesday I ended up spending nearly two hours with Guitar Teacher because we spent almost an hour in deep discussion over The Silmarillion before actually starting a bass guitar lesson.*

On Thursday, I took the day off work to spend with my aunts. We had a nice lunch, but then did nothing for the afternoon because it was too bloody hot out. Dinner brought on some drama with Lil Sis, who was extremely upset by the fact that we would not sit around waiting for her to get home from NYC before going to dinner. We had her meet us at the restaurant, so that I could head home before it got too late, since it takes me an hour+ to get home from there. But apparently this was unbelievably selfish of me.**

Tonight I am sitting home doing feck all. And it is wonderful.

Wovenhand's new album is out. Here is my favourite track:




BRILLIG.

Tomorrow I have been invited to a party thrown by one of The Misfits. I'm tempted to bail because I'm le tired, but I feel like I'll regret that....




























*That problem is not going anywhere fast. 

**It is perfectly fine if everyone else is inconvenienced, but Lil Sis must never be inconvenienced ever because that is Not Fair.

Some things I accomplish when both bosses are away on vacation:

A month's worth of backed up filing.

Making jewelry.

Took me a while to get the hang of it because the tutorials I found online be like:

I found this cool pair of antique scissors in the tin of embroidery thread I bought 3 years ago and forgot about.

I fixed my sunglasses.*

And I made this totally sweet sculpture out of white-out.

In other news.......

One of my best friends got married Saturday. She began planning it the Monday before. (They've been engaged for like 6 years.) It was just for immediate family; I was the only friend present because she wanted me to take photos.

Quote of the day: "This is really just about having a photo shoot for my nails."

She did them herself and they perfectly matched her dress. (She wore black, he wore white.)

On Sunday I tried chatting with the Pesto Man. He does not seem remotely interested, which is not surprising at all because it's me and good things never ever ever ever happen to me where boys are concerned.

This coming Saturday, Loud Auntie and Anorexic Auntie are coming to stay for a week.

 Lil Bro#2 also comes home forever on Wednesday. I'm super excited. We've already planned our first trespassing adventure.

SEPTEMBER STARTS THIS WEEK!

:D

Which means summer is almost over.

And pumpkin spice season will soon be upon us.

:D :D :D

But perhaps most exciting of all, WOVENHAND'S NEW ALBUM COMES OUT ON SEPTEMBER 5TH. 

They just released another single from the album and it's really freaking amazing. I've already pre-ordered the album on vinyl. 

What did y'all get up to over the weekend?

*I sat on them.

this isn't a real post just

WOVENHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!

:D :D :D

Didn't get any good photos, as I was trying to force myself to actually sit and enjoy the music rather than spending the entire show glued to my camera. I already have more photos of him than anyone could possibly need. 


A real post soon. Maybe. 

Do you hear? The moon is weeping in a secret room!

I got this idea from Elleroy; and the original idea came from Rolling Stone magazine in an article that had a number of musicians listing the songs that influenced them most. Since music is such a huge part of so many of our lives, I thought I'd do my own. And instead of tagging just a few bloggers to make their own lists, I'm tagging all of you.

The first one is first because it is the most important. After that I'm going to try and go in chronological order.......

1. Wovenhand - "The Good Hand"

Those of you who have been with me for a while may recall the intense bout of depression I went through a couple years ago. There was much drinking and opiate abuse to dull the noise in my head, and there was also a suicide attempt (that artery in your thigh is kind of far away from the surface just fyi). I was gearing up to try again when I happened to listen to a CD that someone sent me a while back. That CD was one of the compilations John Connolly put together to go with his books, and "The Good Hand" was track 8.

The friend who sent me that CD--Jeanne--deserves a massive thank you. You quite literally saved my life, because David Edwards' music and all the music I discovered through him could never have dragged me out of that depression if you hadn't sent me that CD. <3

2. Queen - "The Prophet's Song"

This is the song that started it all. My father has always loved music. When I was about 5 years old, I heard him listening to Queen and was like WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS NOISE and thus I acquired my first rock album, on cassette. In the way of all very small children, I played it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until eventually the tape got so worn out it wouldn't play anymore. Dad got me another one. I killed that one as well, and also the first CD. The Prophets Song is Queen's greatest song ever and I will never entertain arguments to the contrary.

3. Marilyn Manson - "Dope Hat"

I listened to grunge like pretty much everyone else in the 1990's. And then, when I was in 8th grade, I saw the video for this song in the middle of the night on that Canadian music channel (don't remember what it was called, I think it's gone now) and was like WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS NOISE, and so the next day I marched myself to the nearest music shop and purchased Marilyn Manson's first album. It was all downhill from there.

4. Ludwig van Beethoven - Symphony No. 9 in D minor (that one is super long, so y'all just get the link.)

I had always liked classical music, but never actively listened to it until Dad got me a box set of all of Beethoven's symphonies. After that, classical music was like crack to me. I gobbled up all the big names everyone knows (or should know)--Mozart, Bach, Handel, Haydn, Mendelssohn, etc., etc. I blasted it on my mother's massive surround sound system until the neighbours complained. And then about a year later, I saw the movie Battle Royale, which led directly to

5. Giuseppe Verdi - Requiem

 Battle Royale opens with this:

and I promptly lost interest in the film because I was like WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS NOISE I must have more of it!! My classical collection then doubled as I added a ton of chorus and opera music to it. I went through composers faster than most people go through toilet paper, which is how I arrived at my mother's least favourite phase.

6. Gregorio Allegri - Miserere Mei Deus

I went through a period of about six months wherein I listened to nothing but medieval and Renaissance church music.

7. KMFDM - "World War Three"

Not the whole song, just the guitar and banjo part at the very beginning. This one is out of chronological order, because I do not remember exactly when I first heard it. At the time, I wasn't crazy about country music outside of the songs I liked by Johnnie Cash, Kris Kristofferson, and Willie Nelson. Since I knew pretty much nothing about country music, I could not properly identify the beginning of the song's true genre--all I knew was that it sounded vaguely like country, except like no country music I had ever heard before. And I was like WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS NOISE I must have more of it! But I could not find more, because I could never properly identify it.

I spent the next 10 years trying to hunt down this music, or anything remotely like it. I came up with nothing. As more years went by, I grew less and less enthusiastic in my search. Until I got some more CDs in the mail--Jeanne strikes again!!--and in looking up more music by some of the artists on those CD's, and in Spotify suggesting that I listen to similar artists

I FOUND IT

8. Hillstomp - "Going Down South"

No one can really agree on one name for the genre--gothic country, southern gothic, alternative country, americana, etc. This is the music that got me playing the bass again. This is the music that got me interested in going out and doing things again when the depression still tried to keep me living the life of a hermit.

And now my friends, please tell me about your music!

it's a crazy, crazy mixed up town

I've been blogging for five years guys, that's insane. I've never been that committed to anything in my life.

I feel like I've been trying to finish book 4 for five years as well, and yet it remains unfinished. It's finally moving again though.....

Y'all remember the band Live? They were big in the 1990's, and they are one of very few bands that have remained playing on my radio throughout the years while I picked up and discarded hundreds of other artists. Classic rock, classical music, grunge, punk, metal, back to classical music, back to metal, bluegrass, country--I still kept Live's albums mixed into my tapes, then later mix CD's, and now in itunes and Spotify playlists.

I never followed Live obsessively like I have done with a great many other bands, so funny enough it never occurred to me until a few months ago that Live has been one of my favourite bands ever for like 20 years. Curious as to what happened to them after they released The Distance to Here in 1999, I looked them up in the itunes store to see if they had released anything since then.

Which eventually led me to the singer, Ed Kowalczyk, and the music he's been making on his own. He left Live in 2009 and has released two solo albums and an EP.

He's making Christian rock now. Christian rock that sounds sort of like Live.

I don't mind Christian rock in church, but I've never really been a fan of the stuff some of my friends and family listen to. It sounds a little too campy to me, and a lot of it sounds all the same. (I don't count Wovenhand as existing alongside Christian rock bands because DEE's music defies categorization.) But now I've been banned from keeping Ed's albums playing at work because, as my boss says, "it's Jesus freak music."

It's weird, I feel like I've carried Ed's music around for most of my life, and then when I went to take a closer look at what he's doing now, he's in the same place I am.

A sign? I dunno about that. Just one of those little things that fits together so neatly, like what my hippie roommates used to call syncronicity.

I love my murder ballads and love me some ear splitting metal, but sometimes I also love blasting this stuff and PRAISING THE LORD




Mumsy and Lil Sis ridicule me relentlessly for this sort of thing. I get them back by praying loudly in public and embarrassing them.

They tried sodium amytal on him three years ago trying to find out where he buried a Princeton student. He gave them a recipe for dip.

Just a quick post to let y'all know I'm still here and ok, 'cause I got a couple emails inquiring as to my well-being. 

Not much to report. Christmas was not nearly as exciting as last year. 

Got some excellent booty from Mum Santa.

Mum and Lil Sis, in their attempts to drag me into the 21st century, also surprised me with a Kindle Fire, the screen of which I have been compulsively cleaning ever since. (And also re-reading Red Dragon).

 I feel like my old college roommate when he got his Mac laptop--he rarely let anyone touch it, and if you were allowed to touch it, you had to go wash your hands first with the most dehydrating soap that we had in the bathroom.

Pretty sure I also gained back all the weight I may have lost the last month or so, as I have been compulsively over-eating since Tuesday. ...A good thing?

Hope the rest of you had a lovely Christmas!

::slithers back into corner to polish kindle::

...wait for it.......

............

...
.
..
......
...........

......
.....

...

.....yeah sorry guys it was like 3.30 AM and I hadn't slept in 2 days so I couldn't function enough to explain....

That is me with David Edwards, the genius behind WovenHand (the 2 shows i went to), and 16 Horsepower.


xD

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger

I'm in like manic-impatient-waiting-mode now. A friend pumped me full of xanax so I am at least not in the imminent-heart-attack state I was an hour ago.

....Lemme back up.

So the first of 2 WovenHand shows is on tonight. This one's in Brooklyn. My colourist was supposed to go with me because I'm terrified of NYC and have never driven into Brooklyn. Weeks ago, we planned that I was to meet him at the salon after work, go in his car to his flat in NYC, and then we would cab it to Brooklyn for the show, then back to his flat, I would crash there, and we'd both go back to the salon in the morning. 

Excellent plan, save for the fact that the arsehole bailed today at around lunchtime. 

Cue the biggest panic attack I have had in years. I got myself so worked up about driving into an unfamiliar city at night alone that I reached the point of vomiting.

But all is well now. I have pills, and an amazing friend who agreed to come with me with only an hour's notice. 

I got a versatile blogger award from the gorgeous and enormously talented Loulou. !!! 

Thank you m'lady. You are too kind. <3

I'm supposed to reveal 7 things about myself and then nominate 7 others, but since I can't think of seven things, I'm going to do what I did one of the last times and empty my purse, as I had to do that anyway in preparation for Wovenhand, so I don't break my shoulder carrying everything I own around with me for the next five hours. 

BEHOLD

(click to embiggen)

All that crap is:

1. My wallet

2. One of the books I'm writing, flash drive with all books in progress, extra ink for the fountain pen, extra pens, rolls of film I need to develop, and a list of words I like

3. Various medication, most of it boring, unfortunately. 

4. Spare keys. It's frightening how often I lock myself out of the car.

5. Weird charm bag thing that's supposed to be good luck, and a fortune from a cookie.

6. An Alethiometer.

7. Rosary beads, angel stone, obsidian rock, and an adorable bug in a glass stone from Clytie.

8. Business cards and bookmarks for my books, which I leave in random places because you never know who might pick it up.

9. Ciggies, and fire.

10. Travel toothbrush, bottle opener (wine and beer), and a tin of teabags.

11. Various necessities: tissues, hand sanitizer, wipes, eyedrops

12. More weapons than anyone probably needs to carry in a purse.

13. Hair brush and scrunchies

14. Cosmetics, for touch ups throughout the day.

*. Fun(maybe?) fact: that is a bloodstain from one of my nervous breakdowns. : /

For the seven people I'm supposed to nominate, I ask all of you wonderful people to now nominate yourselves, 
and then fight for the award. TO THE PAIN. 

Time to go bounce off the walls some more and take more xanax before I leave. DEE photos will probably be posted at 2AM when I'm too high on life to sleep. :D

LET'S SEE WHERE THE BOOBY RUNS THEN

The gorgeous Clytie nominated me for a blogger award! (The liebster award or something....) Thank ye m'lady. :)

The rules:

- when you are nominated, thank the person/people who nominated you in your next post. Include a link to their blog.

- in that post include 11 things about yourself.

- answer the 11 questions from the person who nominated you.

- choose 11 bloggers to nominate.

- create 11 questions for them to answer.

- let them know you nominated them.

11 Things About Myself:

...I'm trying to think of weird facts I haven't disclosed previously...

1. something Pogo brought up in the last post--I don't like female vocalists, unless they're opera singers. I have an itty bitty handful of exceptions (like Hole, and the Cranberries, and the occasional Abba song when I'm drunk), but generally I can't stand listening to female singers. A male friend suggests that this is because I am a Pack Leader and no woman should be howling but me.

I suppose I can accept that explanation.

2. I have wanted to learn to joust since I was little. Unfortunately, most places will not teach women because it's hard to get armor to fit properly over boobs, which can be problematic if you're hit in the chest with a lance and the armor shifts. You can actually lose your head that way.

3. I love my boobs. They're the main thing keeping me afloat in the stormy sea of ED recovery and Christmas foods. Because with every extra calorie I consume, they get a little larger.

BEAR WITNESS TO THEIR GLORY

4. I recently finished writing an entire novel (albeit a children's novel) in two months. It's the longest book I've ever written (~68,000 words). The entire thing got started because I saw this photo of Munly at the top of my tumblr dashboard at 2.00 in the morning:

5. People are constantly telling me that I smell good. I never wear perfume, but instead a blend of oils (Nag Champa and Night Queen, which I purchase at Moondancer).

6. One of my favourite things to do ever is drive aimlessly. I take off early in the morning and just drive in one direction until I no longer recognize my surroundings, and then I purposely try to get lost so I can both find new interesting places and also find my way home without maps or GPS. At this point, I know almost every back road in a 200-mile radius. I can also get to Philadelphia and back without ever getting on a highway.

Because you never know when you might stumble across an abandoned castle in the middle of the woods of New Jersey.... 

7. My hair colourist probably knows more about my private life than anyone else.

8. Sometimes when no one else is home, I put Beethoven or Verdi or something similar on the huge stereo in the living room (with the surround sound) and blast it loud enough to shake the house. The neighbours have complained about this more than once.

9. Currently 9 out of my 10 fingers have wounds that refuse to heal, as a result of the combination of the dryness caused by central heating and my inability to stop picking at the cuts and cracks. My knuckles are all cracked as well. This is the second year in a row that the splits and cracks on my thumbs did not heal in the spring/summer, so I have now had open wound(s) on my thumbs for a straight 25 and a half months. Big Sis#2 has the same problem, except her hands look like they're coated in chalk. Because of this, we now refer to each other as The Leper (me) and Asbestos-Hands (BigSis2).

I'd post pictures but trust me no one wants to see that.

10. My Boss is dating an ex-porn star. Like legit.

She's friends with Jenna Jameson and everything.

11. I'm hungry. Someone make me a sandwich.

And Clytie's questions:

1. Most prized possession?

As a hoarder, this is a difficult question to answer...

If my house was on fire and I only had time to grab one thing (after grabbing the cats obviously, but I don't count them as possessions because technically I am their possession), I think it would be the Alethiometer.

Dunno why, I just love it...

2. Where do you see yourself in 3 months?

Idk? Hopefully not exactly where I am now, but I feel like that's the most likely.

3. In a year?

Hopefully on my way the f*ck out of New Jersey. Operation Move To Colorado is in the works...

4. Favorite article of clothing?

The Baroque gowns:

5. Biggest vice?

Smoking I guess.

6. Best day of your life?

I'm still waiting for that one to happen.

7. Worst day?

The day my cat died.

8. If you could choose how and when you die?

In battle, on a Friesian, with a sword.

9. What is the worst thing your illness has caused you to do?

Cut myself off from nearly all of my friends in favour of a hermetic life.

10. Favorite song?

There are sooooo many! I can't choose this on my own, so I shall consult itunes....

...There is a three-way tie for Most Played songs: my fav Queen song, WovenHand, and my absolute favourite piece of Classical music ever.

11. Biggest secret?

That will follow me to my grave.

So I'm supposed to nominate 11 people. To make this as fair as possible, I'm going with the last 11 commenters on this blog (skipping those who I know did this already, and skipping Suldog because I think he swore off surveys...):

Kazehana

Jeanne

Depressed SkinnyMess

Jenn

Mark

Yeamie Waffles

Al Penwasser

Pearl

Mhairi

Aetatis

Nessa
and Pogo :P

Aaaaaaaaaaand now 11 questions for you gorgeous people:

1. Who's your favourite Batman villain?

2. Who is the rightful ruler of Westeros?

3. You're stuck in the booby-trapped home of the bad guy from The Collector, and locked in a room with your neighbour's annoying and kind of vicious dog, a bully from your grade school years, and a relative you really can't stand. You happen to stumble upon a way of escape, but there's only time to grab one of the others in the room to save them before the booby-trapped room kills the other two. Who do you save?

4. You're having a grand ol' time at a party when suddenly the zombie apocalypse strikes. Luckily, everyone at the party has awesome survival skills, and most of them brought food, water, weapons, and camping gear with them in their cars. If you leave with them now, you WILL survive the zombies and get to a safe place somewhere in the wilderness.

...However,

your family is still in your house, over an hour from where you are now, and much closer to the city (which is obviously filled with many more zombies than the suburbs or the country, where you are). And you have the family's only working vehicle.

What do you do? Stay with the other survivors, or risk everything to go back for your loved ones who may, in all likelihood, be overrun by zombies already?

5. What's your favourite bird?

6. Do you believe that dragons and unicorns once existed, sometime long, long ago?

7. Have you ever thought about robbing a bank? How would you do it?

8. Yay, you found a genie!

Make three wishes.

9. Do you have any strange phobias?

10. Under pain of torture and death, you must choose between spending twenty-four hours in a bathtub full of wolf spiders, or marrying into Honey Boo Boo's family and spending the rest of your life under house arrest in their home. What do you pick?

11. It's nighttime and you're leaving the mall to hurry to your car, which is parked in a dark and empty corner of a sketchy parking garage. A nerdy-looking man nearby is trying to load some heavy shopping bags into the trunk of his car, but he's having a very hard time of it because he has a big cast on one arm. He ends up dropping half of his stuff all over the ground.

Do you stop and help him?

I hope all of you are enjoying the holiday season! ♥