Friday, July 6, 2012

They're all mistakes, children. Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one.


There was a really adorable child in the office the other day. His dad--one of our old clients--came to install Boss's new flat screen tv in the conference room, and brought his seven-year-old son with him. Naturally, Aidan got bored of "helping" his Dad within the first two minutes, so he came in to talk to me instead.

He had fun trying to play with Boss's dog (BrianSlade doesn't really like any kind of playing that involves getting up), playing with my desk toys, stealing the explosives I had hidden in my desk drawer, and then stealing my staple remover in order to use it to assault everyone else in the office.

And then I came to the conclusion that the child was being severely underfed, because while he was checking out the coffee maker:



Three packets of sugar later, he came running over to me while I was nibbling the last of the Cadbury dairy milk bars Bipolar Auntie brought over from Ireland.


After that he bounced from room to room like a pinball, generally making himself a nuisance by barging in when Boss was trying to meet with clients, and stealing his father's drill and running around with it turned on. 

He came back out to visit me and took some of the gum out of my desk and ate three pieces. Then Aidan proceeded to completely win me over with shameless flattery.


He bounced around a bit more, and then came running back over to me when he heard the rustle of the packet of Fruit Roll-Up as I took it out of my purse. Obviously I gave him most of that as well, since he was such a charming little boy.

A while later, after the child detonated one of the explosives he had previously taken from my desk drawer, the father packed up his stuff as fast as humanly possible and tried to hurry the child out to the car. Aidan stopped over at my desk first and--as I suspected--wanted more food.



Woops.

-___________________-

22 comments:

  1. haha. Love to see that your posting again. I gotta get back on that we lost power for a while.


    KEEP IT UP MICH!


    xoxo
    thrash

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  2. You are in the clear! The dad should have told you ahead of time! And/or kept a tighter leash on his crazy pants boy.

    The only way it would have been wrong is if you were in a creepy van.

    ...you didn't forget to draw in the creepy van did you?

    XO

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  3. hahaha, what a punch line! You may have been annoyed by the little boy but he sounds pretty awesome to me...but then again I'm a little kid at heart.

    Sam

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  4. I noticed a Pikachu and a Pony on your desk. You're awesome. The kid did sound both charming and annoying at the same time. I make sure to not give kids sugar but I've never really had the chance to give them sugar. The more a kid wants sugar, the less they're allowed it.

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  5. This is awesome Mich, the kid did sound annoying but I love how the fact that he told you that you looked younger than you are really warmed you to him, it seriously made me laugh actually.

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  6. Ahaha, oops. Ypu handled him better than I would have. I have a child, but I don't get on with other people's kids. I just.... I don't know how to interact with them .__.

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  7. LOL yup, what a great influence you are!

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  8. I love that film and the book version too of Mathilda. xD
    That was funny though, very funny in that ironic way. :3

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  9. Bwaaaahahahahaaa. Sugar shots. Those were the days.

    What a little charmer! Oh lala, with a silver tongue like that he's going to be beating them off with a cricket bat when he grows up!

    Can you not get Cadbury chocolate in the States? Miles has spent the last 2 days clowning for Cadbury to promote their new chocolate line. It looks. . . interesting.

    EVERYONE needs toys on their desks. EVERYONE. Even stuffy, hairy old Department Heads at University who are damned near impossible to find and have their office stuffed floor-to-ceiling with peer-review journals. How else can you recreate some of the best minutes in movie history when you get bored?
    http://youtu.be/znxFrgql5dc

    Take care of yourself, ok? *hugs*

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  10. Hahahaha!! TYPICAL Irish woman, the kid starts eating sugar and you assume he's being starved. XD I do the same thing with my nephew. As soon as his mother's gone, I let him eat all the yummy junk she won't keep in the house.

    Is that an Angry Beaver on your desk?

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  11. Perhaps if he was allowed to have sugar, the kid wouldn't behave like a basket case when he has some. He'd be more used to having sugar in his system.

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  12. Don't feel bad. He shouldn't have brought that kid with him....very unprofessional.

    ~MLM

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  13. This is why if I ever breed I will not ban my kid from eating anything, regardless of the nutritional concerns. Making something off-limits makes it more exciting when you can get your hands on it and you go off the deep end :P

    Well, you are blogging and working so it sounds like you're still ok-ish/ok enough to feign ok-ishness, which makes me happy.

    I'm all kinds of proud of myself for noticing that the third item is a carebear bwaahaaha.

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  14. BTW I just noticed your post's title in the blogroll on MLM's page and have to say that I adore you even more for quoting Matilda.

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  15. No wonder that kid was so hyper!! He'll probably remember you for the rest of his life! "I remeber when that teenage girls, who pretened to be an adult, gave me all that candy and allowed me to run around like a maniac!"

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  16. Hahaha, I have missed your post.
    You handle kids much better than I do, even with the flattery I would have still wanted to kick him out after 2 minutes of being there!
    Matilda is one of my favorite movies<3.

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  17. Hmm, he should have come with a sign or a t-shirt reading: "Don't feed the animals!" Honestly, how thick could you get?! Just leaving a sugar-sensitive kid to run amok like that! Some people really do need a license to procreate! I much prefer doggies and kitties to smelly human kiddies. Poo! In his favour, though, you do look like a teenager! Not to be rude, but much more so than when you actually were a teenager! Serious envy, girl! When you next see him, give Lord Brian a kiss from me and keep one for yourself, too. Much love. :) ♥♥♥

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  18. This made me think of you
    http://painting-on-the-sky.tumblr.com/post/27152622644/cat-bot-source-added-3

    Arohanui and many hugs <3

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  19. this so made my day...and btw i did know why slade is called brian. though i did prefer curt wild.

    xxx

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  20. Magnificent. Just bloody magnificent. Bravo!

    (If you're ever in my neighborhood, I will buy you 20 Cadbury bars of your choosing.)

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