When the Crawling Chaos gets here, this party's gonna go insane.

Trying to get back into the blog because my therapist said it might be good for me. So.

The last year+ has been ….. a lot. I don’t even really remember the first few months after Mikey (M.) died. I have never suffered such a loss as this. It’s still devastating. There is a giant hole in my life and my heart. There is no one else in my life who I can tell literally anything and everything. There are thoughts and feelings that I can’t let out because he’s gone. Maybe that’s why my shrink thinks I should start blogging again.

I turned 40 in September, and the day before my birthday, I found out that Ivy had an untreatable tumour in her abdomen. A rapidly growing one, based on its size and the fact that the vet detected no sign of anything off at Ivy’s annual check up in February. They put her on steroids, to make her feel better and just give her more time. I thought “more time” would be more than just a month, but after a few weeks of Ivy getting almost back to her old self, she suddenly deteriorated over the course of a few days and I made the choice to let her go in late October.

It hurt just as much as losing Mikey. My tubby and formerly robust little asshole was suddenly gone.

And then in November democracy in the US went fuckitty-bye, and I’ve just been in kind of a haze since then.

BUT in coming back here, I’m going to try and focus on the good things and the funny things. I’ve got some comics lined up and a few ideas for some more. I’ve also perfected my granny’s traditional English Steak & Ale Pie recipe, so I’ll post that soon as well.

In the meantime I’m going to catch up on the blogs of those of you who are still here.

Keep fighting the good fight, my friends.

The Christmas decorations are still staying up.

State of the Blog Address .....again

 

It's been over six months since I vanished without explanation. I'll probably do that again in the near future, but for the moment, I have returned. Idk if anyone is still out there reading at this point. It's been that kind of year. 

 

2021 got off to an interesting start. I spent a week in January confined to a psych ward following a suicide attempt, and am still under constant supervision. M has been living with me since they let me out of the Home for the Bewildered and miraculously, I have not attempted to kill him yet.  It has actually been kind of nice having someone staying with me. I'm also on all new medications and am no longer suicidal. My family is monitoring my every move, and you never knew how many good friends you have until you almost died.

Bossman's wild weekends with his various girlfriends finally landed him bedridden with Covid-19. Even if the social worker had not ordered me to ease slowly back into full time employment, I would probably be working part time because there is NOTHIIIIINNNNNGG to do at the office. 

Baby Yoda has somehow amassed nearly 500 followers on Instagram. 

Am I officially an influenzaer now?

This is still a weird time for me. It feels like it will take a long time to feel normal, like a person again. Big Sis#2 still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming because she was the one who found me in a pool of blood in my living room. That's my fault. I did that to her. I traumatized her. I will never not feel horrible about that. I will never not feel horrible about making my mothers and father cry. About giving my siblings the fright of a lifetime. 

My cats are treating me like the worthless minimum wage employee I am (as far as they're concerned) for leaving them alone with M and the combined forces of StepMom and Mum for a week. 

Until next time, when I may or may not explain how a mothertrucking CAT was basically the start and end of the above events. 

 

I'd rather take a bath with a shark.

Sometimes we hurt our pets without meaning to. The good news is (and I forget where I read this, so you'll just have to trust me) is that when you freak out and make a fuss of them afterwards, you dog or cat actually understands that you're saying sorry. Apparently, animals do this to each other when they're young, if their rough housing gets too rough and one gets hurt, the other will apologise with cuddles or something.  

I try, I really do. But cats are all on a personal mission to trip you over as many times as possible. With smaller cats, this can be very stressful.

Like with Harleyquinn and Eleven, for example.

They are both very smol, and thus tripping over one of them often results in kicking them across the room.  

And then panicking and feeling wracked with guilt.

 Tripping over Ivy?

Not so much with the guilt.

 

Gyr is not home yet. Now they're saying the end of this week. 

I JUST WANT MY MF CAR BACK FOR FECK'S SAKE IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO MONTHS.

 Also found out today I have a torn labrum and torn hamstring in the left leg. My orthopaedist can now be added to the list of people who think I'm a witch. He could not understand how I betray absolutely no outward signs that I am in fucking excruciating pain pretty much all the time.

I have informed Bossman that he will be purchasing me a giant beanbag chair for my desk because regular chairs are now my enemy. 




 

Horror Movie Hoedown Episode 3, plus general nonsense

 [EDIT: because of some idiot shitposting a load of comments about A MINOR'S boobs, anonymous comments have been disabled. Sorry for any annoyance this causes.]


In continuing my journey thru all the movies of that Buzzfeed post, the remaining unwatched films were either not readily available to watch, or were not free to watch, so I shan't be offering any opinion on them. Thus concludes my half arsed film review series.

Some general updates since my "hey y'all I'm not dead post" a while back:

The Bros and I went to see Wovenhand in Brooklyn.

Y'all should know at this point of my obsession with the music of Wovenhand. 

I got to say hey to DEE, and naturally acted like a bumbling buffoon. 

My friend Cyn and I went to Paducah, Kentucky at the end of September for the BBQ on the River Festival and basically did nothing but eat ribs and brisket and biscuits and gravy for a week. We also got to spend a couple days with Tempest, which was beyond amazing. A morning of Geocaching occurred, good times all round. 

Some highlights:

We drove to Kentucky, taking 2 driving days each way. Our halfway point is and will always be in West Virginia, because TUDOR'S BISCUIT WORLD.

I usually don't take photos of my food, but this is the best breakfast of biscuits and gravy you will ever have. 

We ate our way through the Festival in Paducah, KY with great enthusiasm.

one BBQ vendor of many

At our halfway stop on the way home, we made friends with this cat at the Super 8.

For Cyn's birthday, she received her very own 18th century gown. She's been wearing mine for years on Halloween, and when I saw this one gown with a peacock colour paisley design, it was just screaming her name too loudly for me not to get it for her. 

I've made some alterations to an older gown for my costume this year. Harleyquinn has discovered that panniers (the rigid underskirt necessary for Baroque fashion) make very nice beds.

I have to imagine that women in the 1700s also discovered this, and wandered about their homes with cats sleeping on their dresses. 


In other fun news, this past Saturday night, apparently my drunk ass ordered an entire pizza from the take out place next door to my apartment building, and I ate half of it. I have no memory of doing this. And it's doubly perplexing because, as most of you know, I HATE cheese. 

300 mg of seroquel in action, my friends. Pretty sure my liver is the 8th natural wonder of the world. 

Daisy left us this morning.

I miss you, angel.

When a nebula says, “I can make you a star,” it’s best to reply you’re content as you are.

Hope y'all had nice holidays. Mine were largely uneventful.

 Pretty much everyone got art for Christmas. I'm getting better at landscapes.

Dad and Stepmom got this big one.^

  Mum got a smaller one^ as I was out of large wooden panels. (Mike the Band Leader works in construction and gives me so many pieces of wood paneling they no longer fit in my house and are currently stored in the car.)

Simple Cat got a fake Burberry scarf.

 Not really. Mum got it for me because she thinks her children should all have Burberry scarves, but she also knows that if she gave me a real Burberry scarf, I'd have it sold on ebay within minutes. Kind of like the Google Home Mini Dad and Stepmom got me for Christmas.*

...Funny enough, we just received an Amazon Echo Dot from one of the title search companies we use at work. I shall be cleaning up nicely on ebay this month!!

Y'all have any exciting adventures over the holidays? I miss having days off work and sleeping until 3 PM. :(


AND NOW BASK IN THE GLORY OF THE LEVITATING FERN

*They're either completely oblivious to my conspiracy theories, or they did that on purpose to see how good an actress I am.

Simple Cat is simple.

Ivy, when she hears the neighbours and complete strangers coming up the stairs:

Ivy, when she hears people she has known for the past 5+ years coming up the stairs:

 

Mich's New Music Discoveries, episode whatever

First, here is a picture of my cats. I can't get them to sit still long enough to get a photo of all of them together, so I made one.

In other news, 2 weeks ago, my friend C and I drove 9 hours to Ohio on Sunday to see a super duper totally fecking amazing band Monday (and then had to get up at the crack of dawn Tuesday so I could make it back home in time for band practice).

We had THE BEST time. There weren't a lot of people in the brewery where 20 Watt Tombstone was playing, so we actually got to hang out with the band.

The singer/guitarist came to sit at the bar with us during their "smoke break" and bought me and C a glass of bourbon. We were supposed to have breakfast with them, though I doubted that would actually happen since we had to get on the road by 9.00 AM and they were probably up drinking all night.

Tom never answered his phone Tuesday morning, so I presumed they had in fact partied all night. I got a text a few hours later. Apparently they HAD gotten up in time, but Tom never realized his phone was dead.

Very sad altogether, but just seeing them play and hanging out with them Monday night was totally worth the driving.


C and I dressed up in ridiculous dresses for Halloween at Big Sis#'2's house.

One of the parents of the many trick-or-treaters we saw just bought and re-opened Baird's Tavern in Warwick. It was originally opened in 1766, and the owner offered us a possible job dressing up in 18th century fashion and hanging out in the pub on weekends. Getting paid to play dress up would make me deliriously happy.


And now on to the music.

Black Spirit Crown



Naturally, because I adore their music so much, they have thus far only released 4 songs.


Holy Grove



Yet another band with so few songs they can barely call their album an album and not an EP. But I love them.


Truckfighters



These guys are from Sweden. Proof that I need to move to Scandinavia immediately because their music scene is apparently off the charts awesome.


We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions.
LET ME PREFACE THIS ONE by stating that I very much dislike Bruce Springsteen. However



This album was playing in one of the antique shops we visited while in Lake George a couple months ago. I made the guy at the register stop the CD player and tell me what was playing, because I loved it. At first I thought there MUST be a mistake, because no way I liked a song by Bruce Springsteen. But no, it was definitely Bruce.

The guy at the register seemed nervous when I said I wanted to buy the CD, as he is not the owner of the shop and wasn't sure the album was on sale. I convinced him it was fine and got the CD for $5.00.


Also this cover band from Spain because holy crap.




Have a good weekend, kiddos.

Progress

Just a quickie about Eleven.

She is loving her new home. She's bffs with Harley and Ivy.

Here she is with Harley playing catch:

AND SHE IS SUPER CUDDY at food time.



And just so stinkin cute I CAN'T STAND IT

The weeks of hell were worth it. I love this cat.

Apparently it is Cat Appreciation Day

I promised a size comparison of Eleven and the Simple Cat:

In honor of cat appreciation day, here are some things the moggies have done over the last 24 hours:

- punched me in the arm to indicate she was done with her belly rub (Ivy - 1 point)

- then kicked me in the stomach to indicate she would like another belly rub (Ivy - 1 point)

- threw literally everything on the kitchen table, kitchen counter, and coffee table onto the floor (Eleven - 3 points)

(she does that every. single. day. - 21 points)

she's such a lil nug tho

- climbed the curtains (Eleven - 1 point)

- slapped Eleven in the face because I was petting Eleven (Ivy - 1 point)

(so cute, and yet such an asshole)

- stealing my seat every time I get up (Eleven - 1 point)

- vomited whilst in rapid motion, thus getting vomit on the floor of every room in the house (not sure, money is on Ivy - 10 points)

- brown stamped every surface of my home after getting diarrhea on her butt fur (Harleyquinn - 50 points)

- SO MUCH FUR. ALL OVER THE HOUSE (all of them? but especially Harleyquinn - 10 points each)

(but of course, if being perfect was a crime, Harley would be in much bigger trouble)

Current standings:

Poison Ivy - 23

Eleven - 36

Harleyquinn - 60

Verdict - none of them are well behaved. But I love them anyway.

First of all, it’s a wrist-rocket.

This is going to be another post about cats because cats have more or less taken over every aspect of my life and I literally have nothing else to talk about, so if you're not interested in cats go away.

Eleven has lived in my bedroom for nearly three weeks now. As a direct result of this, it has been three weeks since I slept in an actual bed.

 LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS THO

(she's also super duper tiny, like 4 or 5 pounds tiny)

To be honest, the last few weeks have felt like an incredibly stressful exercise in futility. Eleven seemed to be getting no tamer than when she first arrived, and almost every night she would spend like 2+ hours doing her I'm-upset/afraid HOWL.

But then she started howling by the bedroom door, and it occurred to me that she might not be howling because she's afraid and feels unsafe. Maybe she's howling because she's bored to death and wants to get out of her room.

Following this stroke of genius, Eleven has made some giant leaps over the last few days as far as settling in.

She loves to play.

She's been getting much more comfortable hanging out in the kitchen and living room.

She sooooooooooo wants to be friends with Harley and Ivy, but they're not quite sure about her yet.

And the most exciting thing so far--on Monday night, Eleven let me pet her. So we're getting there. 

I've had cats for most of my life, and I've had to do the cat-intro a few times at this point. But never with a semi-feral cat. It is an ongoing learning experience, and I've largely had to rely on my own instincts and observations, as the articles and message boards I found online offered little help--mostly generic "tips" that any idiot could have figured out on their own, and then people on the crazy cat lady forum offering conflicting opinions and advice, most of which turned out to be incorrect as far as helping Eleven settle in.

[There may be a lengthy How To Introduce A Semi-Feral Cat Into Your Home post in the future.]

Also I have been forced to accept the fact that The Simple Cat is rather enormous. I'll try and get a photo of her and Eleven next to each other so y'all can see what I mean.

Speaking of the Simple Cat, I have finally discovered why all of my clean bath towels leave me covered in cat hair.

And there I was thinking there was something wrong with my parents' dryer.

I feel like Harleyquinn is being left out of this post, so here's a photo of Harley in a box, in a bag.

Hold your light, Eleven; lead me through each gentle step

It is the end of day 2 with Eleven at home, and I'm not gonna lie--my stress level is through the roof. 

Got a better pic under the door today.

She will not come out in the daylight, but at nighttime if I sit in the room for a bit she will come out and sit just out of my reach. But she'll sit there and look content, so that's progress. 

However

It became apparent last night that she is still wormy. She's dropping tapeworm hell-confetti the same as she was when she was outside. The lady who fostered her told me she had wormed her twice recently--once with a mild de-wormer, and then again last weekend with something stronger. I now believe that she lied.

I was nervous giving Eleven a de-worming dose since I thought she'd had one less than a week ago, but my intestinal parasite phobia sent me into full blown mania last night. So this morning I mixed some decent de-wormer into her food.

One top of that, I was informed that she has not been treated for fleas. (Y'all know my past unpleasantness with fleas.) So I have not been in a great place the past 24 hours.

When I cleaned her litter this evening, I discovered she had relieved herself of several dead worms. 

But not tapeworms. Roundworms. Which means she has tapeworms AND roundworms. And she's living in my bedroom. And she also might have fleas. 

Staying sane is difficult. Not putting Eleven outside where she came from is difficult. But I've had one friend in particular going out of her way to help me through this, plus some emergency xanax prescribed to me. 

The de-wormer I have worked on the roundworms. The de-wormer I ordered for rush delivery today should take care of the tapeworms. The Frontline I have should take care of the fleas, and the non-toxic spray I have will kill any flea eggs that fall off of Eleven with the dead fleas. Follow up treatments of all of the above should guarantee that all pests remain dead and gone. 

I just need to breathe. I can do this. I have to do this. I made a promise to Eleven, and I will not break it. 

They're a day old but no mold, I checked. Praise Jesus.

I was going to do a follow up post on the church stuff regarding some additional drama that still aggravates me, plus some more complaints about Bosslady* and various other issues currently making me miserable, but then I decided that 'twould be better to try and stay positive.

So here's some good news. 

Eleven came home this evening.

(Harley and I have been spying on her through the space under the bedroom door.)

Her kittens have all been adopted. (Apparently they were used in a commercial for some cat toy, which will most definitely be posted here if I ever find it.) She is negative for FIV and feline leukemia and she was spayed on Monday.

She wasn't supposed to come back this soon, but the lady caring for her had some kind of falling out with the cat rescue organization she was working for and thus I got a call Monday evening that all cats being fostered through that organization needed to be removed from her home ASAP. 

So here were are.

I had originally debated whether to make Eleven an indoor cat or let her go back to her original home outside, but since she was literally just spayed, I cannot very well just dump her outside now. So perhaps this is a sign from above that Eleven should join my household.

Harley is very interested in what's behind the closed bedroom door. Ivy, surprisingly, doesn't seem to care. Official introductions will [hopefully] occur in about a week, once Eleven is settled in my her room. 

I'm still something of a stressed out wreck because of not being prepared to take Eleven back so suddenly, on top of everything else, but right now I feel kind of ok. Even so, send some prayers this way please!! Pray Eleven and Harley and Ivy all get along, and especially pray that Eleven is flea-free and worm-free. At this point, fleas and/or intestinal parasites will probably send me over the edge.


In other news.....

I recently discovered that Hyperbole and a Half has an older blog I never knew existed.

If you need something to read, read all of these.

....I had another one, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.


Hope y'all are having a good week!


























*I hate her. I try really hard not to hate people, but I hate her. More on that at a later date maybe.

This is not a dictatorship. This is America. Give me liberty, or give me meth.

I realize it is no longer winter here in the northern hemisphere, but I am too lazy and too unmotivated to make a new banner. 

Eleven is a mummy.

(From right to left: Coffee, Contemplation, and Barbara.)

For Easter last week, I went to Savannah, GA with the fam to visit Lil Bro#1. I have discovered that my vertigo is extremely unhappy with long train rides, and Savannah is really freaking hot. 

Here's a nice family photo, which may or may not be taken down depending on how paranoid I feel about it being posted here.

(from left to right: Lil Bro#2, Mich, Step-mom, Dadum, Lil Bro#1, and Lil Bro#1's girlfriend.)

It has been observed that if you ignore hair and eye colour, Lil Bro#2 and I are almost identical. 

Lil Bro#2 has started making podcasts, I think the first one is pretty hilarious. 

Savannah is beautiful though, even if it is too bloody hot.

I enjoyed the Spanish moss.

Art has picked up again. I've been trying to expand beyond mushrooms and four-seasons-trees. I'm rather proud of this one:

I had intended to give it to Dadum for Fathers Day, but I kind of want to keep it...


SOME EXCITING NEWS: ~*~*I FINISHED A BOOK*~*~*

It still needs some editing, and I think it might be a little too short, but it is done. YA fiction following a 17-year-old recovering from a heroin addiction. Anyone out there willing to be a guinea pig?



In other news........

Some really good TV shows I have recently discovered:

The 100 - the only TV show in the history of forever where I actually really really like almost all of the female characters. That one's on Netflix, and new episodes are on the CW app.

Shameless (the US version) - on Netflix. Lil Sis was nagging me for ages to watch this, and I kept ignoring her until I discovered Zach McGowan is in it. 

Black Sails - on Hulu. Big Sis#2 was nagging me for ages to watch this, and I kept ignoring her until I discovered Zach McGowan is in it. Also Maggie Smith's son is in it and he's brilliant. (And gorgeous.)

Black Mirror - on Netflix. Most of the episodes have left me deeply disturbed, but I can't stop watching.


newly discovered band: The Bad Light. Listen.




Have a good week, y'all. 

The stove is a bit like a servant. You need to whack it a few times to get it to work.

Happy Monday, friends.

To start the week off, I thought I'd offer y'all some free advice.

There are five essential tools that everyone should keep in their home. You do not need a big fancy toolkit, but you should always have the following on hand:

Any and all household issues can be fixed with one or all of those items. I promise. Even large appliances can last up to 2 years past what probably should have been their demise if you know what you're doing with duct tape.

This weekend, I fixed the draft stopper on my front door, as it had partially fallen off. I also managed, during that time, to superglue the door shut and to superglue myself to the floor.

It is unwise to attempt home improvements when drunk.

The cat formerly known as Not-Ivy* and now named Eleven has gotten very affectionate.

and last week she brought me a dead mouse

I'm thinking about bringing her in if she gets a little more tame. Right now though she's still pretty wild--I can only touch her if I'm sitting down and only after she has established that I will remain sitting. We haven't seen Kiikiii-8 (the orange and white kitten) in about a month now. I'm praying someone took him in. He's much more tame than the other strays, and he's also super cute.

Some of my art work now hangs in the Sugar Shack in Warwick, NY. My family tells me I underpriced everything.... Hopefully I make some extra money. I've been arting tiny kingdoms and mushroom cottages like crazy.

In other news, as of yesterday--and much to my shock and disbelief--I have been elected to the church council. The council is made up of 6 people, each serving 3 year terms, and is basically the board of directors for anything and everything related to the church (services, Sunday school, the band, all the different ministries, activities, etc. etc.). I'm hoping this is my chance to completely overhaul (and possibly even take over) Youth Group.

I made a very large mistake this morning in opening the scratch and sniff sticker that came with my electric bill.

Now the office reeks of gas and my boss keeps thinking there's a gas leak.

Now listen to this important message from Left Lane Cruiser:

*She followed me around the whole time I was looking for Ivy outside and she looks just like Ivy, only not fat.