It's like the N word and the C word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.

As y'all know, I have something of a spending problem when it comes to period costumes.

HOWEVER, this year, four of the giant dresses will be getting a night out on Halloween, as myself, 2 friends, and Lil Bro#2* have decided to wear them to Big Sis#2's house to give candy to the millions** of trick-or-treaters she gets.

I really enjoyed dressing up as Elsa a couple years ago, so this year I decided to mix it up and dress up as Baroque Elsa, hence justifying*** my purchasing a new giant dress.

The new dress arrived last week, and I raced home after work to try it on.

This is the first one-piece period costume I have ever purchased. You'd think that would make it easier to put on. Think again, my friends.

I ran into serious trouble when I finally managed to get both arms into the sleeves.

At which point I realized I was stuck.

Why was I stuck, you may ask? Wellllllllll it's because of a problem I frequently have with clothing.

BUT I DID NOT GIVE UP

The dress is bigger than my apartment, so it's impossible to get a decent photo of it. This is the best I could get:

In other news....

I've been doing some decorating and now I'm going to show off.

I think I'm most proud of the mini curio cabinet.

That's on the wall right outside the bedroom.

And in that photo you can see my fantastic new table.

My owl collection has some new additions.

I've decorated the windows for autumn.

And here's a picture of my fridge just because.

*yes, really

**this may be an exaggeration

***not at all

****it was taking way too long to draw that

Give up your dead.

This week has been fairly insane. I have never been so excited to sit home and do absolutely nothing.

Monday night, shortly after arriving home, the fire department arrived outside our building. Lady next door had a burst pipe or something in her kitchen, which flooded her apartment, the migrant farmers' apartment below her, and the basement dwellers' apartment. Praise be to God, my apartment was totally undamaged.

But they had to cut the power so as to avoid potential electrical fires. And because the landlord and not the fire department cut the power, the electric company informed us we would need an Official Okay from an electrician and the Official Okay from the town building inspector before they would turn the power back on.

So Tuesday morning, I sent Drummerboy to the apartment (he's an electrician), and we had the power back on by Tuesday evening.

Also Tuesday evening, I met one of the New Zealand cousins and his wife, who were staying at Dad's house for a couple of days. His wife is originally from Alabama, and her hybrid Southern Belle/New Zealand accent is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Wednesday I ended up spending nearly two hours with Guitar Teacher because we spent almost an hour in deep discussion over The Silmarillion before actually starting a bass guitar lesson.*

On Thursday, I took the day off work to spend with my aunts. We had a nice lunch, but then did nothing for the afternoon because it was too bloody hot out. Dinner brought on some drama with Lil Sis, who was extremely upset by the fact that we would not sit around waiting for her to get home from NYC before going to dinner. We had her meet us at the restaurant, so that I could head home before it got too late, since it takes me an hour+ to get home from there. But apparently this was unbelievably selfish of me.**

Tonight I am sitting home doing feck all. And it is wonderful.

Wovenhand's new album is out. Here is my favourite track:




BRILLIG.

Tomorrow I have been invited to a party thrown by one of The Misfits. I'm tempted to bail because I'm le tired, but I feel like I'll regret that....




























*That problem is not going anywhere fast. 

**It is perfectly fine if everyone else is inconvenienced, but Lil Sis must never be inconvenienced ever because that is Not Fair.

Yeah, that’s right! You better run! She’s our friend and she’s crazy!

As much as I adore my new apartment, there is still one drawback to living in an apartment building (aside from no dishwasher and not washing machine).

Neighbours.

For the most part, I've lucked out with the neighbours here. (Remember the neighbours we had in Philly?) The lady next door is very pleasant, though I've only seen her twice since moving in. I have yet to see her son, or the other person who moved in a couple weeks ago (I'm assuming either her daughter or her son's girlfriend...).

The landlord's daughter and her boyfriend live in the apartment below mine. I've run into her maybe two or three times. She is also very nice.

Next to her, there is a family of migrant farmers (parents and two kids). I see them the most, and they're probably the friendliest out of everyone. My only issue with them is that every once in a while, the family across the street comes over so all the kids can play together, and for some reason they feel like it's a good idea to have all the kids play in the driveway. A driveway in which six cars are frequently coming and going.

Then there's the people in the basement.

I hate people. I hate small talk. I hate being forced to interact with people on a small-talk level, but I'll do it when the situation calls for it.

For example, if you happen to pass your neighbours in the shared driveway, it's not a lot to ask to give them a pleasant "good morning" or least a "hi."

Because the basement-dwellers allow me to use their rubbish bins free of charge (otherwise I'd have had to pay $20/month for my own), I thought they must be relatively nice people. I offered to split the $20/month, but they said no. That's very nice of them.

But every time I pass one of them and try for the friendly "good morning" or "hi" or what have you, I get Side-Eye-Chloeied.

x

If Mr. Basement-Dweller is out on his own, I might get a grunt or a muttered "hi" back. If it's both Mr. and Mrs. Basement-Dweller, I get Side-Eye-Chloeied all the way to the front door.

Mrs. Basement-Dweller seems to have a particular hatred for me. At first I thought I was just paranoid, but I've seen her chatting all friendly-like with Mrs. Migrant Farmer and the people across the street while their kids play together, and chatting with the dude across the street who handles most of the maintenance in our building, so she obviously doesn't hate everyone. I've tried really hard to be nice to her, but I feel like every time I do something like compliment her bumper stickers (because in fairness, she has some hilarious bumper stickers), she just gives me dirtier looks than she did before.

But enough about that.

Let's talk about her f**king minivan.

As per everyone's lease, each apartment gets one of the five parking spaces (5 apartments = 5 parking spaces). It's a b*tch backing out of my parking space if Mr. Basement-Dweller's car is in the driveway parked next to mine, but it can be done with a 5-point turn. The reason being that the stupid unnecessary handrails leading down to the basement apartment stick out into the driveway in the most awkward spot ever, and you have to do a 5+ point turn avoid hitting them and knocking them over (Mr. Basement-Dweller and I have both destroyed the railings, more than once).

Everyone else who lives in the building but doesn't get a parking space parks on the street right outside the building. There are only like 20 people living in the whole village, so it's not exactly hard to find a space right outside our building. All the other tenants manage it without a problem.

Except for Mrs. Basement-Dweller.

More often than not, she parks in the driveway.

Here's how the driveway is set up:

And here's where Mrs. Basement-Dweller parks her minivan.

If she pulls right up to the garage, I might be able to get out if I make a 30-point turn. Usually when I am attempting this, Mr. and Mrs. Basement-Dweller stare at me from right outside their front door, giving me dirty glares.

The other day, I tried and failed to get out of my parking space, so I rolled my window down and asked very politely, "could' y'all please move the van?"

Mrs. Basement-Dweller's response was a very audible "UUGGHHH", and then she stabbed her cigarette out rather violently into their overflowing ashtray, went inside, and slammed the door behind her.

Mr. Basement-Dweller stood there for a protracted moment, obviously under the assumption that Mrs. Basement-Dweller had gone in to get her keys so she could move the van. When she did not return after some time, he stuck his head inside and said something to her, and then he went and got the keys and moved the van.

And I was like ummmmmmm ok do y'all want me to take out your railings again? Should I arrange to have my car lifted out of the driveway with a crane?? COULD ONE OF YOU MAYBE PARK IN THE FECKING STREET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

 Lil Bro#2's explanation: "Obviously it's because she's an old witch who wants to steal your youth and beauty from you. Watch out. Don't drink any mysterious liquids that show up on your doorstep."

Sounds legit.

Have a good weekend y'all!

Brother, can you hear through the flames and rage? You're digging a hole where you're digging a grave.

Being the responsible adults that we are, myself, Lil Bro#2, and Big Sis#2 decided to take Niecey G trespassing on Sunday.

I've been to the Gingerbread Castle before, but only got to see it from the outside. Some history: once upon a time when the Mill was still operational, someone built the Gingerbread Castle so that the mill workers could leave their kids there during the work day. Fifteen or so years ago, there were tours offered by a long since closed restaurant across the street. Kids could meet up with Hansel and Gretel, who would take them on a tour of the castle and at the end they were confronted by the Witch, and to escape they had to throw a coin down the wishing well.

Since then, the Castle has sat abandoned. More recently, the property has been listed for sale, something that has been met with some hostility from the locals.

 A couple weeks ago, two different friends posted photos on facebook of their explorations inside the Castle. I'd been dying to revisit it ever since.

Upon our arrival, Lil Bro#2 and Niecey G skirted the fence and said they found no way in. All four of us took a long walk around the entire property (which includes 4+ buildings) looking for a way through the fence.

No luck. We thought about exploring the mill itself, but it doesn't look entirely stable.

 Then we got back to where we started and I walked the length of the fence directly in front of the Castle. Somehow Lil Bro#2 and Niecey G managed to miss the giant gaping hole someone had cut in said fence.

Big Sis#2 opted to stay outside, chatting with a family who had also come to check out the castle. Niecey G, Lil Bro#2, and I proceeded inside the castle. We could hear the complaints of the small child whose parents still stood chatting to Big Sis#2, because her parents would not let her follow us through the hole in the fence.

It's a pretty cool roadside attraction. But it's a shame there's so much graffiti. And not even decent graffiti. Some highlights:

Lil Bro#2 and I may go back and attempt to steal that

That was the only part of the building we didn't explore--those stairs did not look at all stable. 

We explored and took some more photos and then went back to the car.

And no exaggeration, LITERALLY as we were piling back into the car, a police car came down the street and pulled into the Castle/mill parking lot. He didn't bother us (I'm presuming because we were by that time on the legal side of the fence, and we looked like 3 adults with a child in tow, so probably did not look like the trespassing hoodlums that we are). So we possibly narrowly escaped getting arrested. Niecey G was thoroughly impressed with this adventure.

Normal 11-year-olds go to sleepovers or the mall on weekends, but Niecey G can now tell her friends she went trespassing in abandoned buildings.

Later I stopped at the bird sanctuary that's down the street from my new home. Got some good pics of a great heron

  

a red-winged blackbird

a swallow

a green heron

this birb I could not identify

and what I think is a family of otters.

Lil Bro#2 and I grabbed some dinner at the Wit's End tavern with one of his friends. This particular friend used to be afraid of me (which I find hilarious, as I'm a hobbit and he's 6' 5"), but now he likes me. Lil Bro#2's friends cannot keep his many sisters straight, so we are apparently referred to as The One That Lives In England, The One With The Kid, The One That's Not Actually Related To Him, and Daenerys. I will admit I was extremely flattered by this, even though I hated Daenerys's character in the books. I'm guessing it's because of my hair, because I don't think I look anything like Emilia Clarke...

......................................

.......................

............

... I find Lil Bro#s's friend incredibly attractive, which makes me feel like sort of a pedophile. I confided these feelings to M., without mentioning names, and he guessed which one of Lil Bro#2's friends it was immediately. Apparently, I have A Type. 

What did the rest of y'all do with your weekends?

WHAT IS THIS GREENERY?!?

Howdy y'all, it's been a while. 

I've settled into the new place very nicely. Finally got my coffee table:

I think I need a rug to tie the room together.

And Big Sis#2 gave me her old dining room cabinet:

I need more Corningware to show off I think...

Naturally, the Simple Cat is extremely concerned with this new furniture. She wouldn't even go near it for the first day I had it. 

She is not, however, concerned about sleeping on the kitchen table, despite my many many attempts to keep her off of it. 

Harleyquinn is just as bad, though at least when she sleeps on the counter, she's not technically on the actual counter, but in something else that is on the counter. Such as the box in which their cat food was delivered.

You know what's hilarious? Photos of cats yawning.

In other, much more horrible and depressing news, Game of Thrones 

[SPOILER ALERT]

 has killed off my favourite character. 

Ramsay Snow Bolton

:***********(

In fairness, there is a 100% chance that everyone on Game of Thrones will die, but that doesn't make it any easier to cope. 


This Saturday (the 25th), my favourite brewery, Weyerbacher is celebrating their 21st birthday and holding a special event. VIP members (because of course I am) get a free ticket and special parking passes. Anyone in or around the Easton, PA area out there reading this? Want a free beer? No one will come with me and my VIP ticket is good for a +1. 

you cannot resist the Brunicorn

So apparently a lot of people are into Snapchat. Mike the Band Leader's 6-year-old daughter has been using my phone during band practice and Sunday service every week to send Snapchat pictures to everyone in my contacts. Apparently, my complete inability to understand Snapchat is due to the fact that I am Old. 

I refuse to be old. I am trying to do this Snapchat thing. It's weird. 

this makes me look like I actually have cheekbones

I refuse to be outdone by a 6-year-old

This one is probably the most accurate:

Summer is the dead season in law offices. I've spent a large chunk of my day today turning myself into a Disney Princess:

And an anime character:

Make your own here.

How are y'all doing? Tell me something interesting.