This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed........b*tch!

There is but ONE fun thing left from the hoard-pressies, so if you haven't joined the mailing list yet.....
Tell Mich to send you stuff!

Some survey thingies, because I have blog-writer's block...

This one is from my bff Jeanne:

1) If you could be a superhero, who would it be?

Can I be a super villain instead? Obvs, Harley Quinn.

2) If you woke up one day and found that you have become invisible,

what is the first thing that you would do?

Torture Little Sis to death, then Boss; then follow Stephanie March around until I get to see her nude.

3) If you were marooned on an island with just one person,

who would you want it to be?

That's a very difficult decision. Do I go with someone yummy, or someone entertaining? Keeping in mind that eventually I'm probably going to end up killing and eating whoever is on the island with me when I go insane/get bored....

I think I have to go with Wolverine. 

4) If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish?

That Mummy would win the Megamillions.

5) What was the last movie you watched?

The Help.  Little Sis promised I would be balling by the end of it, so I spent the entire film in absolute terror thinking it would have a horrific ending with a lynching or something. It didn't, and I didn't end up balling. Nice movie.

 6) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Pay off my credit card bills and my car and my outstanding medical bills, pay off Mum's bills and her mortgage, pay for Little Sis's college education (providing I haven't killed her yet after my stint of invisibility); and then buy a nice little cottage on the coast of Maine, and a nice sailboat.

7) Do you have any strange phobias?

Yes.

8) What's your Favourite Car?

1968 Pontiac Firebird. And it MUST have the bird on the bonnet. 

9) What do you want to be when you grow up?

Idk. Not this. 

10) Tits or Arse, or both?

Yeah I definitely have to go with boobs.

...I realize this took ages, but I'm finally accepting the blogger award from Peri (thanks, m'lady!!).

7 things that make me happy:

- my kiikiiiis

- My Little Pony

- writing

I got a package from Elk in the mail over the weekend, with some of the original illustrations from the book. There was much squealing, and I had to dig out the book in its original form so it could meet the pictures. 

- birds,

:D

... and especially owls

- tea

- the sea

I want to live by the sea one day. 

...and,

- music. I would DIE without that radio station. 

 ...and I'm supposed to nominate 5 more recipients, but I'm doing 7 instead so it matches the list of things I like:

- Jeanne

- Honor

- Kazehana

- Elk

- Anne
- Matthew
- Tracy

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand one more

This one is from Bersercules, my pretend boyfriend:

What is the first TV show you ever saw? 

Most likely some murder mystery. Mum is an addict.

What is your favourite TV show? 

At the moment, Breaking Bad, but it changes...

Who do you think is the greatest character ever conceived in TV? 

Frank Black. DUH.

Who is the greatest villain? (in TV) 

That's a tough one. Do we mean favourite villain as in the one I like most, or the one who is actually the baddest mf'er on the block? I think imma have to go with Lucy Butler, because she probably freaks me out the most.

Best weapon in a TV show?

Biggest pet peeves in TV? 

The annoying wives of the main male characters on cop shows--the ones that get all upset that their hubbies are spending too much time out fighting crime instead of time at home with family. CRY ME A FECKIN RIVER, like seriously, you KNEW your hubbie was a crime fighting bad ass when you got married, so why the eff do you suddenly develop a problem with it later?!? Some examples of the wives I want to punch in the face are Elliott Stabler's wife, Agent Hotchner's wife (but she's dead now, so it's all better), Frank Black's wife....this list could probably go on and on.

Did you realise I was riping off R.gers questions? 

I don't even know who that is.

If you were a character from any TV show who would you be and what would you do? 

I think I would have to be Ignignokt, since I apparently channel his spirit already. The Moon rulz #1!!

What is the one question you love to answer? 

"Can I get you a drink?" YES PLEASE.

If you could be one animal what animal would you eat? 

As long as I get to eat all the other animals, I don't care what I am.

Did you ever watch the movie This is Spinal Tap? 

No.

There's no way out. She'll only come in here and love you. And you don't want that.

The Universe really REALLY likes to mess with me. Today was one of the best yet, because it was something about which I can't really vent unless I employ some lengthy explanations. 

So here goes:

Among my favourite episodes of Millennium is "A Room With No View." (You can watch it here.) The circumstances that made "A Single Blade of Grass" my ultimate fav episode also contributed to "A Room With No View," but had the opposite effect--that episode freaks me the f**k out. 

Lucy Butler is the root of all evil. (I know I only put her at an 8 on my own scaleof evil, but I think the reasons for 9 and 10 are quite obvious.) In ARWNV, Lucy Butler kidnaps teenage boys, locks them in her house, and plays this song on a permanent loop. It never stops. That song plays throughout like 80% of the episode. 

I was in the liquor store today, and guess what song came on while I was attempting to pay for my Bailey's? 

wild guess

My brain function immediately dropped to just below zero. I didn't even know that was a real song. I thought it was composed and orchestrated by Lucy Butler herself, specifically for that episode of the show. 

Ugh. 

Ok so I know I said there was a hoarding post and a ridiculous post in the forecast, but I feel the need to talk about a topic that I think makes many of us anxious. We all know the ongoing struggle of Going Out To Eat. Nothing derails my attempts at normal food consumption/recovery quite as effectively as the knowledge, several days in advance, that I will have to Go Out To Eat. And try as I might, it never ends well.

 Like Einstein's opinion on insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

(I don't think that's insanity; actually I'm pretty sure that just means you're human.)

I do the same thing every time I know I'm going to Go Out To Eat:

Stage 1: The starve-a-thon. Up to five days before the Going Out - only liquids, 300 cals or less. All of it must be exercised off, just in case I need emergency food at nite to remain conscious in front of people. And there's a good chance I'll exercise enough to burn quite a few more calories than I've eaten, as a sort of preemptive strike against the emergency food that may or may not be eaten later. (Yes, I know that the obvious solution to remaining conscious would be to eat more and NOT exercise all of it off, but if I was capable of doing that I probably wouldn't have an eating disorder.)

Stage 2: The day of the Going Out - eat NOTHING before dinner. Tea and water only. Exercise as much as possible--take a walk on my lunch break, do the treadmill or jog outside for half an hour after work because I won't have to time to go to the gym, and spend every second of free time hiding in my room and using the mini elliptical.

Stage 3: The Going Out - Attempt to only pick at appetizers (we usually get apps for everyone to share, and it looks mighty suspicious if I don't touch any of them), don't drink too much, eat a salad with something that makes it look like a meal, NO DESSERT.

Stage 4: Drink too much (or get too drunk, because obviously I haven't eaten enough to balance out the alcohol intake). Get home. Panic.

Stage 5: The Purge - If I drank enough, I might be able to puke up whatever is left in my tumtum from dinner (that doesn't happen that often because I have no gag reflex and must therefore be pretty effing drunk in order to make myself sick). There's a 50/50 chance I will take laxatives. And there's 100% chance I will spend 2+ hours in the gym the following morning, exercising until I physically can't exercise any more. 

I think this could be the root of my binge-starve cycle. My family goes out to eat A LOT. But I do like going out to eat--once I'm there in the restaurant I do enjoy myself, and I like spending the time with family and/or friends. We usually go out on Friday nights, so I spend the days prior starving hardcore. Then Saturday I spend the entire morning at the gym. So by Sunday I usually feel like I've been hit by a truck. Starve-binge-purge-repeat.

This coming Friday, we're going out for Little Sis's 17th birthday. She wants to go to Mount Fuji, which is awesome and delicious and they actually have things that I can eat without feeling too guilty...

BUT their food makes me sick. Like really sick. Idk what it is, because other Japanese hibachi places don't make me sick like that. Last time I went to Mt Fuji I spent a good chunk of the evening doubled over with intense abdominal pain. After I was dropped home, I only managed to make it to the bottom of the stairs, and then I texted Little Sis to come drag me up to my room, stealth-like so Mum wouldn't see me. 

I couldn't even stand up, I was in such agony (and y'all know I do not like succumbing to pain or ailments of any kind). 

But it's Little Sis's bday, and thus her choice of where we eat, so I can deal. I can always just get retarded off mai-tais so I don't notice that I'm in pain later.

Off to the gym now, to burn off the 250 calories I've eaten so far today...

-_______-

Eight-year-olds, Dude.

Not much to report this Monday evening... I've been trying to put fun posts together--one going in-depth into my hoarding; with lots of photos; and another that will be somewhat ridiculous and I'm not spoiling the surprise. :D


I went to the Fall Festival up in Sugar Loaf, NY yesterday. There were some fun vendors, and of course all the lovely shops (Sugar Loaf is my one of my favourite places ever; I'd love to live there). I bought a pretty purple cardigan, and friend and I shared a crabby patty (basically a grilled crab cake on a bun--delicious). 


And then right before we left we decided to go into this new hobby shop, as I had not explored it yet. There were lots of Star Trek things, and model train sets and stuff like that (and an air conditioner, which we desperately needed at that point because it was an unholy temperature out yesterday even though it's bloody October). And then on the way out, I nearly had a stroke. 


At least, my friends T. and C. thought so, or that I had been attacked or stabbed. Because I happened to glance at the table of stuff on sale outside and saw this:

A Frank Black (Lance's character in Millennium) action figure. I had no idea such a thing existed. He was only ever in one episode of the X-Files. 


Now I know I shouldn't be spending money on silly unnecessary things, but you try and tell me that action figure is unnecessary and I may have to hurt you. 


I was like a little kid hen I got home, too. Simply could not contain my excitement. I just HAD to show SOMEONE my new toy, so I went flying into the living room to show Mum, shrieking "OHMYGODLOOKWHATIGOT!!!" 


I think I scared her a little. 


The first couple packages of things shall go out tomorrow!! And hopefully a new [real] post tomorrow or Wednesday. Until then, my sweets, I bid you adieu. <3

Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

Yeah so Monstermania was totally awesome. 

I got to sit in an electric chair. 


And I got the entire serieses (idk how to pluralize that...) of Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Salute Your Shorts on dvd. 

For a grand total of $40. 


I think we may have scared Cary Elwes.

But hopefully I did not scare Lance. 

He signed 2 fabulous photos. 

And I think perhaps I should pursue a new career. 

I don't even need to get paid. I just want to have an ultraviolent mega-blood-and-guts death on a large screen. Then my life would be complete. 






I did not binge this weekend. In fact, I did not eat that much in general this weekend. 


I don't know how I feel about this yet. But I do know that I don't feel anxious, suicidal, depressed, or filthyfat. 


:/


Hope y'all had a wondrous weekend! I apologize for any very drunk comments I may have left last night....

cake or death?

Kazehana thinks she's pretty effing smart. 


Little Bro does, too. Solving that sh*te in 15  minutes in his head. 


>:(




.....
I'm a bit drunk. I'm also a bit anxiety-ridden. 


I decided that I don't like using the word "fast" to describe one of the common things that I do when under stress. To me, fasting means consuming nothing at all except water, and it is generally done for religious purposes, or right before blood work. "Fasting" means you have some kind of goal in mind--something you wish to accomplish either physically or intellectually. 

We'll call it Not Eating. For me,  Not Eating reduces anxiety. My "fasting" means the only calories I consume come from the half & half in my coffee, or the occasional sip of protein shake or something similar. The total stays around 200 calories per day. I may have one of these things right before a workout, if I don't have enough energy for the elliptical, but that only bumps the daily cals to 250. 

This week:

Monday - 150, no exercise

Tuesday - ~260, 1 hr on elliptical (520 cals burned)

Wednesday - ~200, 1 hr on elliptical (505 cals burned)

Thursday - ~180, 45 mins light walking

Friday (today) - easing back into food (~800 cals), 40 mins on elliptical (250 cals burned)

This is kind of unhealthy.

DUH.

None of my other stress-relief methods are healthy either (drugs, cutting, cigarettes, nail/skin shredding, etc.). I need to find healthy ways to deal with stress. Because this mega-starve thing is part of a stave-binge pattern that is making me crazy. 

Will work on that and report back with my findings...

At least one healthy security blanket: my fav episode of Millennium.

(They have it on the internet! :D)

The next post may feature something exciting, with a giveaway of random stuff...

<3

Don't be dark.

So I think some weekend recappage is in order.

Before we get to the good stuff (save the best for last, and all that)...

I actually got to hang out with Little Bros #1 and 2 WITHOUT Dad and Step-mom. Like whoa. (That has never happened before). 'Twas Little Bro #2's 17th birthday last week, so I offered to take both of them out at the restaurant of Bro #2's choice, and then a movie at the drive-in. We had a pretty awesome time at dinner, then at Bellvale Creamery eating tiramasu ice cream, then flooring it back to Warwick to the drive-in only to find a line of cars a mile down the road, at which point we floored it to the normal cinema in Chester to catch the 9.05 showing of the new X-Men movie (it was pretty good).

And then yesterday, Friend and I drove to Maryland for the Monstermania convention, to meet Lance. I needed someone to come with me in case I made a fool of myself (which I did [duh], but we'll get to that...).

It was a nice drive. Google maps said it would take about 4 hours, but Google maps does not have a lead foot, so it actually took 3 and a half hours. Friend and I did a spot of shopping while we were there. I got this awesome little grow-your-own giant redwood tree thing for my cousin, Patrick:

He's been after me to send him a giant redwood for years, so now he actually gets one.

And I got this EPIC clock:

 It makes a different bird sound every hour. So I can be a flailing nerd every hour, on the hour, as opposed to just sporadically at any given time throughout the day.

Monstermania, while not as huge as that convention I went to for Pinhead, had some fun vendors (although since this was LH we were going to see, it was about 10x more exciting than the last convention). I got a pretty brooch of a spider, and this fun badge thing:

...which now hangs from my rear view mirror.

AND THEN

Lance signed my Millennium photo:

I was all of a dither.

Although I did manage to give him the card I made with some of the best pics from the Millennium post without slurring. Lance had his photo taken with my copy of his book. I felt kind of bad for not having read it yet. IT'S THE NEXT BOOK ON MY READING PILE I SWEAR, and that's saying something as my reading pile is 3 feet tall and new books generally go on the bottom, unless they were written by John Connolly, so Not Bad For A Human is next in line (right after John Connolly's newest).

OMG:

 And right after that I tripped over the cable for the video camera.

::is blonde::

You can see the camera I nearly destroyed on the right. 

(Sometimes I think people like me should just not be allowed out in public, ever.)

Lance has some pretty wicked tattoos.

So all in all, 'twas a pretty awesome Sunday. Friend and I drove home, I was forced to listen to Kesha in the car, got to see Friend's mom (whom I haven't seen in way too long) and his Step-dad, and Friend's dog

... and then we all had a 45-minute debate concerning the release dates, titles, and actors who starred in all of the Alien movies.

Riveting conversation. 

-____-

.

.

.

.

holy scheisse

LANCE HENRIKSEN JUST KISSED MY CHEEK.

Inconceivable!

OMG guess what. 


! ! !


They put a link and a little blurb about my Millennium post up on Lance Henriksen's website. And my blog is listed under "Friends."


Excuse me while I dance around the room and squeal like a little girl. 


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Anonymous 1: I have never actually watched Dexter, but it is on my list of things to watch on the internet. I don't have any of the fancy movie channels, so I couldn't watch it when it was on TV. :/

Anonymous 2: YES, of all the Millennium episodes I picked that one. Sure some of the cliche ones are on my list of favs (A Room With No View, the Mikado, Jose Chung's Doomsday Defense...), but SBoG is still at the top. 

*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*

Fasting today, since I pigged the eff out yesterday. But I did NOT binge on Friday or Saturday. This is an accomplishment. yesterday was unavoidable, what with Mother's Day and all. 

It was a good Mother's Day. When you have 5 siblings, holidays and birthdays become a form of trench warfare--all of us trying to outdo each other with making our parents happy. I brought Mum breakfast in bed. Took her out on a lovely walk.

(Sunday is my "day off" from exercising. Mum strictly enforces this, so I must get crafty.)

For dinner, I made some of Mum's favs--steak and kidney pie, and rhubarb crisp.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find lamb kidneys in America? Impossible, because apparently that's considered offal and thus illegal to sell. I went through 3 different Irish butchers who had always supplied me with that sort of thing in the past, and none of them had any. Apparently the health department or something had caught them and threats had been made. 

But on Friday, Other Secretary called up a butcher near her house, and praise be to God, he had lamb kidneys. It was the sketchiest thing ever. When Mum and I went there Saturday, he brought them out in a paper bag (so no one could see what was in it) and told us to keep in on the DL. 

But YAY, I got lamb kidneys!

I left the pic small to minimize the horror. 

5 whole pounds of them. Since no one answered my summons of free lamb kidneys (I only needed like 1 or 2 lbs of them for Sunday's dinner), I shall be making 2 or 3 more steak and kidney pies tonight and freezing them. 

Ok fine, maybe it's a bit gross; but I don't think it's any nastier than people eating solidified rancid milk. And my S&K pie was pretty delicious. Mum said it reminded her of home. :D

It did, I guess--it tasted just like Granny's. I miss Ireland. 

When I was a kid, Mum shipped me off to Ireland every summer. This gave nanny time off to go back to Jamaica for a while, and meant Mum was free of parenting for 3 months. 

I went to Polranny, in Achill, out in the western boonies of County Mayo.

Check out these guys' blog: Polranny Pirates. Their photos are amazing. I LOVE it there!! If there were jobs there, I think I might move. Just waiting for my writing career to take off...

..... 

In summers in Ireland, it gets light out at 4 in the morning, and doesn't get dark until 11 at night. As a child, you were expected to get the feck outside and come back for dinner. Then get out again until it's dark. We had tons of bog and shoreline and mountains to wander around in, because there's so much unowned land--crap land that's hard to build on, can't be farmed, and gets destroyed by non-stop wind and rain, so no one wants it. 

We're on the Google now!

Sometimes the carnival would come to Achill and camp out in the football field down the road from Granny's. 

They were tinkers. Trailer folk who drive round the country. Like gypsies, I guess?

One of my cousins (I have like 28 1st cousins just on Mum's side) and I were bff's, and most days we would walk into town to get lunch, wander in the supermarket, the chemist, and her uncle's shop, wander around the abandoned Protestant church, light all the candles in the regular (Catholic) church and go exploring in the attic (they just left it unlocked?), or wander down by the water and look for seals. 

Just having the craic in general. 

So this one morning (I think I was 10 or 11) we went walking and we passed the carnival that was camped out in the football field. 

I use the word "carnival" loosely. It had maybe some battered old excuse for the teacups and a haggard pony. 

So when we're a little ways past the field, Cousin says she thinks someone is following us. I tried to be subtle when I turned around to look.

There was someone following us. 

. 

.

..

...

...

...

....

....

....

...

...

...

..

..

.

.

No joke. 

A guy in a gorilla suit was following us. 

Like what?

When he followed us past the pub and all the way over the bridge to the supermarket, we started to get nervous. So we ran into the supermarket to hide. 

And buy candy.

But mostly to hide. 

After a while, we figured he might have gotten bored and left, so we left the supermarket. We checked all around--no gorilla. So we continued on our merry way. 

The f**king gorilla was still there. Idk where he was hiding, but he started following us again.

He followed us all the way to Cousin's uncle's shop (her uncle on her mother's side, so not my uncle, which means it's ok that I think his son is hot as hell). The shop is more or less a convenience store, though they don't call it that. It's just The Shop. 

Cousin told her uncle that there was a gorilla following us. He gave us the same response all Irish parental figures give to children who come to them with these kinds of problems: "Stop talking nonsense. Go outside and play."

We tried to make Uncle believe. Told him to look out the door and see for himself. After much bothering from us, he looked; but of course the gorilla was crafty and hid. Uncle didn't see him. We were booted out of the shop. Gorilla was still following us.

So now what? We had planned on going to the playground behind the church (the normal [Catholic] church) to go on the swings. But the playground was set kind of far back from the road (and not even a main road), and was separated from the church property by a big patch of woods. Basically the playground was completely isolated, and once you were in it you could not be seen or heard by anyone (clever spot for a playground, no?). Cousin and I were not dumb enough to go there with some gorilla-man following us, because surely that would lead to our ultimate demise. But we didn't want to go home, because we didn't want him to know where we lived.

We wandered around town just to make sure we were surrounded by people, and as luck would have it, we ran into one of my aunts in the supermarket. We begged her to drive us home and she agreed, though she did not believe us about the gorilla. (He had conveniently disappeared again, as soon as he saw us with an adult.)

For the rest of the week, until the tinkers and their carnival vacated the field, Cousin and I only took the long and perilous way into town, through the bogs and the abandoned railway rather than along the road. No one ever believed us about the gorilla.