Tuesday, April 15, 2014

M is for Math

From like third grade onward, most of my teachers and peers thought I was a moron. Because I can't do math.

Numbers just don't make sense to me. Even I thought I was stupid, because numbers seem to make perfect sense to everyone else. Both of my parents are accountants, for feck's sake. Mumsy even once admitted to me that she dreams in numbers.

I can barely count to ten.

Not kidding--when I used to exercise and tried counting my sit-ups and push-ups and whatnot, I apparently almost always screwed up the counting at some point. I never noticed this--my sister and a few of my friends did, on a number of separate occasions.

I screw up taking down people's phone numbers all the time at work. My boss used to yell at me for this, but now--like most of my bosses before him--if the number is wrong the first time, he'll reverse the 6's and 9's (as in, change all 6's in the phone number to 9's, or vice versa), and usually once he does that, he ends up with the correct number.

::convulses on the floor::

Whoever came up with 6 and 9 should be tortured. 3 as well--it always takes me a sec to make sure it's not an 'E.' And to make sure the 4 isn't "H."

I have trouble telling time, too. Most people look at a clock and see the time, but I see:



unless I sit there and stare at it for a full minute.


AND WTF IS UP WITH THOSE WATCHES WITH NO NUMBERS JUST HANDS YOU'RE POSSESSED BY DEMONS IF YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.

8 comments:

  1. You might be number dyslexic. What's the term for being number dyslexic? Dysnumeric?

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    Replies
    1. In Swedish it's called dyskalkyli and I've got it. 7 and 4 are the devil's numbers.

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    2. Dyscalculia I think it is here. Of course they hadn't invented that yet when I was in school, so I kind of missed the boat as far as extra help....

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  2. My hair person needs a digital watch, can't use the other kind. I can't count laps while swimming. I always get distracted. I can remember my third grade telephone number, but not my current one.

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  3. I couldn't handle analogue clocks until into my 20s, and it's still way too hard. My everyday watches are ALWAYS digital. My numbers issues are attention related. When I was a kid I had trouble focusing long enough to count E tablespoons of dry cream of wheat. I eventually learned to make each spoonful a separate mound. Even now I can't count to time my stretching so my handy dandy digital watch has timer buttons.

    I would gladly have joined your top shelf club!!

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  4. I get phone numbers wrong too. Algebra wasn't a specialty for me, but Geometry was...

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  5. Losing count of your sit-ups/push-ups could be a serious problem for someone with an ED or exercise bullimia. You think you've only done 30-40 when you may have done 100. Lucky for me, I always know my number would be zero :-P

    I never had trouble with 6's and 9's until this post. Test question #17 makes me want to poke my eyes out with a swiss army knife!

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  6. I can tell the time fine, just don't EVER ask me to manipulate numbers.

    I have mislabelled more product than I can remember (4-digit PLU codes for our machines. UGH) and it takes me 4 goes to top up my cell. It's a fuckking joke!

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