Friday, April 11, 2014

J is for John Malkovich

I won't usually shut off a tv show or a film if I dislike one of the actors in it. Hell, I can [usually] watch Kevin Bacon films without too much of a problem.

However

If we sit down to watch something on the telly and I happen to catch even a hint of John Malkovich, we will be promptly changing the channel.

He never shuts up. I feel like he makes up triple the lines they actually give him in the script of every single film in which he has ever acted.

The biggest insult to my soul by far was the film Dangerous Liaisons. They have turned that book (despite being written way back when, it's actually a very good book) into three different films: Valmont, which had a great cast but kind of butchered the story; Cruel Intentions, which even though it's set in the 90's instead of the 1700's is probably the truest to the book; and the 1988 film Dangerous Liaisons. John Malkovich was cast as the main character, Valmont. The same character played by Ryan Philllllipppppe in Cruel Intentions. The guy who is supposed to be this major man-whore, who is so charming and gorgeous that he gets to screw around with pretty much everyone without making much of an effort.

Let that sink in. They cast John Malkovich as this guy.


John Malkovich is like the opposite of the charming gorgeous man that women find irresistible.



That is all.

7 comments:

  1. I agree with most of that list, but Kevin Bacon should be in a better position. He's Kevin Bacon. To be honest I know very little about the guy's career. It's just the name. Kevin. Bacon. I also don't know much about John Malkovich. He certainly doesn't look like a smooth talking man whore though.

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  2. the things that piss you off are hysterical

    HOW HOT IS MATTHEW IN THAT SHOW SERIOUSLY THEY NEED TO MAKE LIKE 10 MORE SEASONS WITH HIM IN IT

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  3. also wtf I had no idea Cruel Intention was based on a book

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  4. wait... what... "j"...

    Thank you for being part of the "AtoZ Challenge", please stop on over to my site[s] and say "Hello"!
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  5. I'm surprised you didn't have John Cena on the left side of that chart. ;-P

    As for the right side... I just linked to a clip from Being John Malkovich a few days ago; I had completely forgotten how creepy that movie is! Don't watch that shit unless you want to have nightmares for weeks.

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