Saturday, April 12, 2014

K is for Klutz

You know what really ticks me off? When people try to say that a girl being a klutz is cute.

It's not cute. It's a fecking pain in the arse.

Mostly I can blame it on the vertigo. I have no balance, and even when I think I can manage standing upright without a problem, sometimes my brain likes to play Let's Go Sailing Now and



I used to love shoes. I still love shoes. But I can no longer wear high heels. I have finally reached a point where I can accept this. I used to enjoy haunted houses on Halloween as well, but then a couple years ago after going through one of those spinning rooms


I spent the next 6 hours vomiting and fighting a raging headache, and the next two days in bed because I couldn't even stand up.

Part of it may also be a lack of hand-eye coordination. Lots of people complain that they have some issues with that. That they have *bad* hand-eye coordination.

Try having almost NONE.

A good chunk of the time, when I go to pick something up, I end up hurling it across the room. I have injured people doing this. I have broken windows and walls. I have lost things forever.

And a big problem resulting from vertigo + lack of hand-eye coordination: carrying things. 

Just carrying anything in general. If I need both hands to carry something, my balance goes out the effing window. Like seriously I have almost died on several occasions because I needed to carry a box from one side of the room to the other.

Some people try to tell me this can be a good thing. I can play the damsel in distress, right?

NO.

I never look like the damsel in distress. I just look like a fool.

9 comments:

  1. Oh God, I am the same. It's like my hands and feet work on a different body. If I don't see the (flat) floor where I'm going, I will fall. Don't get me started on stairs.

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  2. Maybe it is just cute when a woman fakes this in order to be a damsel in distress.

    I would have that checked out by a doctor, maybe it is nutritional.

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  3. OK, I'm an ass, I am sure you have had it checked out.

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  4. Vertigo + lack of hand-eye coordination + stockpile of medieval weapons = I'm staying the hell away from you :P

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  5. I couldn't walk a straight DUI line sober.

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  6. I think maybe there is a difference between "being a klutz" and what you're going through. You have my sympathy... and I'll have my armor, thank you!

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  7. I completely understand! New follower here. I'm stopping by from the "A to Z" and I look forward to visiting again.

    Sylvia
    http://www.writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/

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  8. Holy fucking shit.

    HOW CAN PEOPLE THINK THAT BEING CLUMSY IS CUTE?!?

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  9. so if I run in circles around you, will that make you lose your balance?

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