Thursday, October 29, 2015

hockety pockety whockety whack

In an attempt to relax and just shut my brain off for a while, I have started drawing again. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. It's really just doodling with those gelly roll pens, but Mumsy did not believe me when I said I drew them, so I presume they mustn't look that bad. 

Elsa... not exactly my favourite character, but 2 weekends in a row of dressing up as Elsa and getting mobbed by small children at Halloween parties has left the image floating around in my head.
dig dird

Sailor Neptune

And completed today:

The Dragon

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.

Living with mental illness often feels like trying to find your way out of a haunted house at a carnival, only no one told you that the haunted house has no exit. Some days are just

(Of course, sometimes that's my own fault.)

My drug dealer took me off of Lexapro because I was experiencing pretty much all of the bad side effects. He put me on Zoloft instead. I think it's working. Sort of. Mostly it has gifted me with a Nothing Box of my very own, a thing which God has denied us women. The Nothing Box is my favourite thing ever. Now instead of my brain feeling like an internet browser with 65985874748 tabs open at the same time, I can settle into a comfortable state of zero brain activity.

Follow up appointment with the drug dealer in two weeks. I'm hoping he increases the dosage.

Friday, October 9, 2015

The Hand.

I have mentioned previously some of the ways in which I tortured Lil Sis growing up. In honor of Lil Sis's upcoming 21st birthday, I will tell y'all about my all time favourite.

Let me back up to 3 years before Lil Sis was even born.

I had an AWESOME Halloween party in 1991. Unfortunately, none of the adults present deemed it necessary to take any photos of it, so y'all will have to use your imaginations.

Mum and Lil Sis's dad constructed a haunted house in my basement--a tunnel filled with lights and fog and fake spiderwebs, that ended in the sauna (which was terrifying enough on its own[that basement will eventually have its own blog post; I'm working on it]), where Lil Sis's dad had set up an "axe murderer" using some of his own clothes, newspaper (to stuff the clothes/body), and this really creepy mask-and-gloves Halloween costume.

After the party, many of the decorations found their way into the toys and other random stuff in the basement. And somehow, years later, one of the gloves continued to survive Mum's frequent THROW EVERYTHING AWAY episodes.

Sometimes small children are completely terrified of random things for no reason. Niecey G used to be so afraid of my friend M. that she would either freeze like a deer in headlights, paralyzed with fear, or scream bloody murder whenever he entered the room. One of my little cousins used to FLIP THE EFF OUT if he spotted a cobweb in the house.

And Lil Sis had an intense fear of that glove.

Once I discovered Lil Sis's reaction to the glove, I just couldn't resist. Big Sis #2 thought this was hilarious as well, and pretty much everyone else who wasn't Lil Sis or Mum. 

Whenever Lil Sis did something bratty 

(which was like every few seconds, hence why we never felt guilty about this), 

we would hide the glove up our sleeves

and let Lil Sis fall into a false sense of security

and then at the right moment

we would slowly expose the hairy hand and wait for Lil Sis to see it.

The glove would be hidden as soon as Mum came running to see what was wrong with Lil Sis. And the poor child would be in such a state of abject terror, she could never articulate what had upset her.

and for a moment, all was right with the world

For Lil Sis's birthday next week, I have purchased her a hairy hand.