Wednesday, April 9, 2014

H is for Hippies

A disclaimer: I wrote the following post while extremely drunk. I do not endorse this sort of behaviour. 
(I am, however, quite impressed with the general level of coherency I managed to achieve.)

I don't even know where to start this.

Back in high school, everyone fit neatly into their labels. There were the trendy kids (I guess what would be the stereotypical *popular* kids?), the nerds, the jocks, and the freaks. And each of those had subcategories. I have no idea what sort of subcategorizations there were among the trendy, jock, and nerdy kids; but in the freak group, there were the goths, the hippies, the punks, and the metalheads. In general, everyone within the Freaks got along with everyone else. Clashes usually arose from one place.

Metalheads vs. Hippies.

....I was about to apologize for possibly offending anyone from this point onward but seriously if you've been reading this blog for this long you should know to never ever take me seriously.

A friend and I just had a long conversation about this. We realized that this conflict--Metalheads vs. Hippies--has defined our entire lives.

Hippies and Metalheads are like complete polar opposites. People accuse me of being a hippie a lot, and my instinctive reaction is to take offense. I never questioned this, and I should because I have some good friends who are definitely hippies, and I don't hold that against them (usually....... ok fine I make fun of them for it but we're still good friends). Like seriously, in high school the biggest insult my friends and I could hurl at each other was "F*CKING HIPPIE!!!"

M and I still use that as an insult. So yeah, when people accuse me of being a hippie because of the way I dress, I get offended.

I think it might be because I'm like a redneck-metalhead hybrid. I guess on the surface level we can appear very similar, but there is a large difference between hippies and rednecks. I shall illustrate this with a chart:


  1. Mich is perfect that's why this is a coherent post bby
    i near wrote "coherent" wrong i suck
    I LOVE THIS. i might steal this off you eventually. perhaps when you're done with your A - Z challenge, i might replicate it.
    ah. i'm into metal. wouldn't call myself a metalhead though. i'm mostly on the "nerdy" side. i was that one kid that sat all alone and do not approach me because my level of intelligence surpasses yours.
    hippie. okay.
    i died when i saw the "food" bit. oh my God.
    herb tea. fuck. those people that go for herb tea i want to slap them upside right.
    i don't want to know what a jam band is.
    *looks up* i know none of these but i'm scared of any band that calls themselves the String Cheese Incident.

    -Sam Lupin

  2. Here's something I've always wondered about hippies; if you kill a pacifist, is it karmatically worse than killing a normal person? Surely it would be like killing a defenseless baby.

  3. I probably would have been somewhere in the nerd group.

    Omg I remember I had to work at some hippie gatheringfor a class and I watched them eat birdseed out of jars with spoons. When they got hungry they would eat a few spoonfuls of what looked like birdseed out of glass peanut butter jars. I wanted a bacon cheeseburger so bad after that.
    And I guess sunscreen isn't natural because wow their skin was worn. Where do the moderation lovers go? Cuz I do like recycling and I do think we should take care of the only planet we know can support our lives.
    I. Just love bacon :)

  4. I was a major band geek. And I thought I was cool.

  5. My mom needs this she would ever watch it...i can't wait to get back to Virginia...but it seems H isn't thrilled to have me either...too bad, i will live in the garage...anything is better than UTAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Lol Tracy you're not a hippie. You're way too metal. <3

  6. Hopped over from A to Z...found this post hilarious. I really love that chart!

  7. I adore freaking out/offending hippies at festivals I go to.

    I love calling people on hypocritical and badly-thought out bullshit and trying to make them think.

    Watching the gears turn makes my heart sing, then the inevitable double-down when they KNOW they've not got a leg to stand on >:3

    Yes, I'm a horrible person.

  8. jam bands are awful. so are vegans


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.