Friday, October 9, 2015

The Hand.

I have mentioned previously some of the ways in which I tortured Lil Sis growing up. In honor of Lil Sis's upcoming 21st birthday, I will tell y'all about my all time favourite.

Let me back up to 3 years before Lil Sis was even born.

I had an AWESOME Halloween party in 1991. Unfortunately, none of the adults present deemed it necessary to take any photos of it, so y'all will have to use your imaginations.

Mum and Lil Sis's dad constructed a haunted house in my basement--a tunnel filled with lights and fog and fake spiderwebs, that ended in the sauna (which was terrifying enough on its own[that basement will eventually have its own blog post; I'm working on it]), where Lil Sis's dad had set up an "axe murderer" using some of his own clothes, newspaper (to stuff the clothes/body), and this really creepy mask-and-gloves Halloween costume.

After the party, many of the decorations found their way into the toys and other random stuff in the basement. And somehow, years later, one of the gloves continued to survive Mum's frequent THROW EVERYTHING AWAY episodes.

Sometimes small children are completely terrified of random things for no reason. Niecey G used to be so afraid of my friend M. that she would either freeze like a deer in headlights, paralyzed with fear, or scream bloody murder whenever he entered the room. One of my little cousins used to FLIP THE EFF OUT if he spotted a cobweb in the house.

And Lil Sis had an intense fear of that glove.

Once I discovered Lil Sis's reaction to the glove, I just couldn't resist. Big Sis #2 thought this was hilarious as well, and pretty much everyone else who wasn't Lil Sis or Mum. 

Whenever Lil Sis did something bratty 

(which was like every few seconds, hence why we never felt guilty about this), 

we would hide the glove up our sleeves

and let Lil Sis fall into a false sense of security

and then at the right moment

we would slowly expose the hairy hand and wait for Lil Sis to see it.

The glove would be hidden as soon as Mum came running to see what was wrong with Lil Sis. And the poor child would be in such a state of abject terror, she could never articulate what had upset her.

and for a moment, all was right with the world

For Lil Sis's birthday next week, I have purchased her a hairy hand.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

You can’t get no action if you're standin’ still.

I had a lovely holiday in Kentucky. And after seeing what Bossman and Bosslady did to the office in my absence, I would very much like to get back into my car, drive back to Kentucky, and stay there.

We took 2 days each way to drive down to Paducah. At the welcome center in West Virginia, we took our photos with the ridiculous motorbike thing:

(It's a family tradition; so far only Lil Bro#2 still needs his photo with this.)

We drove through the Daniel Boone State Forest. The Red River Gorge is beautiful. 

At the motel in Paducah, we discovered a number of kitties. So naturally we fed the kitties our leftovers every evening, and sat outside with them until we went to bed.

Cookie, Lady, and Paddy
Paddy was the general favourite. He started out pretty wild, but we had him purring on our laps by the last night there. 

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday was the Barbecue on the River, so we spent a good deal of time rambling about the town and eating quite a lot. 

Paducah river front
We decided on where to eat based upon the number of trophies outside each barbecue booth.

We also discovered my new favourite pumpkin spice beer.

We spent two days wandering around the Land Between the Lakes, which is beautiful.

And on Sunday, we got to spend the day with Tempest, which was quite lovely, and I wish she lived closer.

And then this morning I returned to work, to this:

is it the weekend yet