I smell bacon, I smell pork. Run little piggy, I got a fork.

I have nails!!! 


Like ACTUAL nails that I can paint and tap on hard surfaces, and use to scratch my sister. 
This is a relatively rare phenomenon. In the last 26 years, I have only had long nails maybe 5 or 6 times. Mum says I started picking and biting them as soon as I had teeth.  It's grown worse over the years, finally reaching a peak around my early twenties. I don't just pick and bite. 


Oh no.


I MANGLE the bejeezus out of my nails, and also the skin around them. It gets worse in winter, because the central heating dries my skin out and makes it crack. I pick at the cracks, and then have giant cuts all over my fingertips (mostly on thumbs) that never heal properly until we turn the heat off in the spring.


But recently I decided to stop attacking my nails. Like maybe a month ago, and now they're long and it's really weird. I play with them a lot. Tap them. Click them on each other. Touch them. Lots of little things just to make sure they're still there.


I bought new nail polish and fun stickers.

But as I'm still slaughtering the skin around my nails, I dunno if my hands are attractive enough for these yet, so the manicure may have to wait. Baby steps. Quitting the nail-biting was hard enough. I apologize, Peri--the patch is coming along very very slowly because of this. It's tough to sew when your fingertips are a minefield of open wounds. :( 


Why am I such a freak? I'm doing this to myself. I have to stop and think about how absurd that is. I don't cut anymore, but I'm still injuring myself. I just use my nails and teeth to do the damage, instead of a knife. 


Animals must look at us humans and think we're retarded. I know my cats think I'm stupid. I can see it in their eyes. That LOOK that says, "OMG, you're a moron." 

I'm working on the most AWESOME little MS Paint pic ever!! It's taking a while, though; I want to include all of you so I'm going back through a lot of old posts to make sure that none of my commenters get left out. 


Tracy, did you try sending it to bellatrixburrows at hotmail? You could also try my other email: iworshipzoot at hotmail dot com. 


*~*~*~*


I pigged out so bad this weekend. All that stuff Little Sis bought? Well she added to it when she made Mum take her grocery shopping. So on top of that rubbish that was already in the cupboards, we also had a HUGE bucket of chocolate-covered pretzels, a sizable selection of ice cream, more cookies and pop tarts...... 


It was bad. Monday morning was like those times where you get way too drunk down the pub, and end up going home with some stranger only to wake up and discover you slept in  your make up, your clothes are half off, there's empty condom wrappers on the floor, and you feel a wicked hangover coming on.


Except for me, there were empty Pop-Tart and South Beach bar wrappers on the floor. And I felt like a bloated sack of manure. 


This could have been fixed with vigorous exercise, which is heaps of fun when you have a good supply of vitamins*. But I was out of vitamins.  I went crying to vitamin-Friend, but he's got nothing. I whined about how fat I am and how I can't exercise properly, and he sympathized. So he hands me this little round, white vitamin* and goes, "Here, have one of these."


So I did. 


And like 10 minutes later, I absolutely had to look it up and find out what it was (he gave me 2, so I searched it on vitamins*.com). 


Soma is truly a wonderful thing. 

You could have taken a sledgehammer to my knee cap; I probably would not have cared. 


Everything in moderation. 








*I just want to say that I DO NOT, under any circumstances endorse this behavior. Drugs Vitamins are BAD.