Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Master Cleanse Day 3, and Flushing of the Salt Water Kind
I'm sitting here chugging my salt water and I feel like Dumbledore at the end of the The Half-Blood Prince. One health book I read recommends getting into a fetal position when you finish the salt water and frantically rubbing your abdomen. I probably don't hate drinking the salt water as much as the average person, but crikey I feel like I'm lost at sea. I might add this to my list of Ways To Keep An Insomniac Busy.
So the only way I was able to get away with doing the Master Cleanse in front of Mumsy was because one of her friends has done it. The Friend, however, only did it for three days and told Mum that you are only supposed to do it for 3 days. When I told Mum that on the official website, it says you should do around 10 days, she flipped. Of course I can't do ten days!! Friend said only three days, and if a piece of information came in from Friend and not Daughter, it must be true. If Daughter says it, obviously it's a total lie.
Kind of like the time I told my mother that the "low oil" light on her dashboard probably means she needs to put oil in the car. So I checked her car's manual, bought the right oil (we were on a road trip) and a funnel, and proceeded to pour the oil in under the bonnet. Mum flipped. What the heck was I doing?!? I'm not a mechanic! How do I know the oil goes in there?!?
Hmm, let's see - maybe because there's a little logo on the lid with a picture of an oil can.
Mum snatched the oil away from me and forbid me to touch the car. The next day, when she took the car to a mechanic near where we were staying, Mechanic said: "The car needs oil. You've got some there in the back seat. Why didn't you put in the car?" And he then poured the oil in, where I had been pouring it in the previous day. And Mum says, "Oh, it goes in there?"
I just kept my mouth shut. There's no point in arguing.
Today was Day 3 of the Master Cleanse, so if I continue tomorrow I shall have to be super stealth. I feel much better than the first day, but I also feel like my teeth are going to rot out of my head. Shall see how I feel in the morning... Would like to make it to 5 days, but I'll be happy with three.
Sleep tight, my little bed bugs! :-*
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Can you post a link to the master cleanse website or provide more details about it? I might go back and look at your earlier posts..
ReplyDeleteit wasnt really blood and guts kinds sick more like crazy insane woman trying to kill her husband and hurting herself kinda sick its kinda funny in a way but yeah haha watch it and you'll see what i mean. anti christ and it has sissors on the cover with 2 lil faces in the finger holes
ReplyDeletehahah love the Dumbledore reference, I can just imagine it. Oh Mothers....no point in arguing with them sometimes lol.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing!
ReplyDeleteI love it when you tell people stories about your mother/father, and all they can say is, "Omigosh! Your mom/dad sounds like total fun!" and you're just thinking "WTF are you talking about? You think I enjoy this ish?"
ReplyDeleteI say this because your mom sounds like total fun. :]
Dude.
ReplyDeleteThe saltwater thing.
I chugged back a litre while getting violently sick, only to be told I was supposed to use coarse sea salt for it to have the proper effect.
Well gee thanks, guys.
Anyway. Kudos to you for drinking saltwater, we are lost out at sea together atleast.