Madness.

Down in the cafeteria in my office building, there is sometimes a stack of these super delicious little squares of coffee cake. They’re pretty big pieces, and the whole piece is 250 calories. That’s a ton all at once, but if I eat that and have nothing for dinner, that’ll only be 420 calories for the day after breakfast and coffee. However, after my work out, I will want a little something to eat. I can probably have one of the really low-cal lean cuisines and still be in negative nubmers for the day, but I still feel like a fat ass.

But I really want that cake.

There is now an epic battle going on in my brain. I have armed the Thin side with 4 Sudafed, and new flavored tea in my purse, ready for my tea break later. But the Fat side wants that bloody cake, and when I go down to the caf for my tea, the Fat side will spot the stack of coffee cake, and will begin an onslaught of Hunger that Thin will have to fight with all of her strength. Thin shall have to be extra-strong.

I really have to weigh the consequences, as well. Sure when I’m in the process of eating the cake, I get happy. Afterwards, though, I ALWAYS feel sick. Probably a combo of the fact that I just scarfed down a nice big square of pure cellulite, and also that the cake is so sweet (I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, in general – I’m more of a carnivore). I try to keep that in mind, but for some reason my brain likes to ignore the fact that the cake makes me nauseous for hours, and I still want more. To me, this is a sign that humans are not evolving. At least not as far as brainpower goes.

You want to be THIN, darnit! NO CAKE!!!

So far today, I ate: cereal (160), coffee (10).