I know this doesn’t make much sense to normal people, but when my entire digestive system is empty, I feel clean. Like some people are nuts with washing their hands and constantly using those Purell things, I like knowing that my tummy is pure and clean.
Certain foods are “clean,” in my mind. Cereals like Special K and Corn Flakes are clean and sterile. Lean Cuisines are clean. Those 90 calories Fiber One bars are clean. Other stuff, though – like hamburgers, French fries, shake n’ bake, ice cream, pastas – those are all filthy. Like eating dirt. Eating oil and grease that stains and soils my insides. I know that laxatives don’t really erase fat or calories, but I feel like they get all that filth out of my system, and leave it clean and empty. That’s why I take a ton of them after I binge, so I can be clean again. Gleaming and shiny like clean white tiles of a kitchen. That’s the image I get in my mind, and food like Corn Flakes or Lean Cuisines are just the necessary things you need in the kitchen, while greasy food is just stains on the perfect white tiled floor.
Today, I ate: cereal (140), coffee (10), candy (250, fat ass-hole), Lean Cuisine (150). Exercise burned 775, and I puked up about half my dinner (-75), so that's a grand total of -300.
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