Excuses.

I hate making excuses. In general I just don't do it, as a rule. Even when I was younger and in school, for example, I never made excuses. Forgot my homework? Failed a test? Missed a day of class? I let the teachers imagine whatever reason they thought I had, and never gave an explanation. I figure excuses are for when you can't handle the mistake you've made. I can handle it.

However, when it comes to eating and food, I make excuses. It's a special occasion, so I can eat. Like this weekend, I met my cousin from New Zealand for the first time and dad had a barbecue to celebrate the cousin being here, so I said it's a special occasion, I can totally stuff my face. And on weekends in general - "I've been so good all week, I deserve a day off," and that leads to me inhaling a large plate of fried food. I can totally scarf down that Pizza Hut; I'll just take a bunch of ex-lax right after.

And these past two weeks, I've been back on the prescrip painkillers for exercising, so I can exercise way more than usual. So I think, "I can totally eat a normal dinner, since I exercised for so long".

This is a bad habit, and it stops NOW. I was ok yesterday. Not quite passable, maybe, but ok: tiny bowl of cereal (140), coffee (10), some chocolate milk (100), and then I picked at dinner so it looked like I was eating (like 300). That's a total of 550, and I burned 750 exercising. Then I ate two fiber bars (200), so I broke even.

Today, I ate: 1 bowl cereal (150), coffee (10), 3/4 apple (60), Lean Cuisine (290), 1/2 cup diet Swiss Miss (15), for a Total of 525. Exercise burned about 750, so that a Grand Total of -225.

I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL BE EMACIATED BY MAY 5TH.