Friday, March 11, 2011

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

I went to the post office today to pick up the book that Cinnamon Brown sent me. haven't opened the package yet (I was going to open it in the car, but I was running late to work and didn't have time--shall be rushing to my car to open it on my lunch break). 

It used to be a giant pain to have to go to the post office, as the one in my town is quite a bit farther away than the post office in the next town over (welcome to New Jersey). However, I'm willing to take the extra time to go to my town's post office because I am in love with the postmaster. 

He's probably in his mid-40's? Idk, I'm not a very good judge of age, so that's my best guess. He's good looking in that classic Cary Grant sort of way, with just a hint of grey in his temples but otherwise dark hair, and big blue-green eyes, and he's so NICE and pleasant that I get giddy and girly every time I see him. 

And today he told me that I look adorable. 


This made me happy because I thought I looked a bit of a mess. Aside from feeling fat in general (what's new?), my hair is also a royal mess--3 days since the last wash, so I can't leave it down, but I didn't have time to put the extensions in and put it up all nice, so it's just in a messy ponytail (with a pink ribbon tied around it, to make it slightly less gross). But he thinks I'm adorable anyway!! XD

Unfortunately, I think he's gay. 

Let's just pretend he's not so I can keep up my little fantasy in which we run away together in a post van. 


Recipe time!!!

I'm going to share a secret recipe, so y'all should take a moment now and congratulate yourselves on being so near and dear to me that I am willing to share such Holy Secrets. 

...

'Tis a simple recipe for the Greatest Egg Salad of All Time. How do I know it's the Greatest? When I make it for Mum, she actually licks the bowl clean when she's finished eating. Mum does not give out compliments or praise EVER, and is also not one to show any outward signs of liking something that much. I think she feels that such behavior would make her appear soft. 

For a single serving, you will need:
- 2 eggs (140 cals) Take the eggs out of the refrigerator at least 20 minutes before you cook them. (You should do this with all animal products; meat should be taken out at least half and hour before being cooked; just an FYI :D)
- 1 tsp-1 tbsp lite mayonnaise (~12 - 35 cals)
- 1 tbsp honey mustard salad dressing (I use Newman's Own, the lite version, 35 cals)
- salt & pepper
- Herbs from Provence; I just buy them in a bottle, but you can mix it yourself with lavender, basil, marjoram, savory, thyme, parsley, chervil, rosemary, and tarragon. These are not optional. The lavender in particular is not optional. This is the secret ingredient that makes this salad the Greatest. 
- and also, some salad greens; I like a mix of baby lettuce and baby spinach.

Before we proceed, I am first going to instruct you all on How to Properly Hard Boil an Egg.

A frightening number of people cannot do this properly. Even people who think they can--they're still doing it wrong. How do you know if you're doing it wrong? If your hard boiled eggs have that nasty greyish-brown crust around the yolk
Guess what--you're doing it wrong. 

Ok fine, I suppose it's not "wrong," but it's icky. I never used to eat hard boiled eggs because of that crust of Ick around the yolk. 

So to Properly Hard Boil an Egg, you will first need a pot with a decent lid, one that fits snugly on top of the pot. (I've also done it with a plate covering the pot, and something on top of the plate to hold it down since hardly any of the pots in our house have matching lids.)

Fill your pot with water and bring it to a rolling boil. 

Put your eggs in the water, and then make sure the water gets back up to a rolling boil again (should only take a few seconds). Once it does, cover the pot with your lid or plate, and TURN OFF THE STOVE. If you have an electric stove, take the pot off the burner. Leave it covered for exactly 12 minutes. Do not take that cover off until the 12 minutes are up.

After 12 minutes, empty the hot water out of the pot and fill it with cold water. Let the eggs sit in cold water for at least 10 minutes. Check the water every now and then to make sure it's still cold (if it gets warm, dump the water out and get new cold water). 

When the eggs have cooled, you may take the shells off. And look at that--no greyish-brown crust. 

To make the egg salad:
- Cut up your boiled eggs and put them in a bowl, (or use an egg slicer) to make for easier mashing.
- Add the mayonnaise, honey mustard dressing, salt, pepper, and herbs.

- Mash it!

- You can add more salt, pepper, and herbs to your tastes. I personally prefer lots of salt, just a hint of pepper, and buttload of those herbs.
- Serve the egg salad over your salad greens, or mix it up with the lettuce. 

Single serving is like 200-240 calories, if you count the calories in the lettuce and junk. 


Daylight bloody savings time begins this weekend. And I have to report for jury duty at 8.15 in the mf morning on Tuesday, when my head will still be on the winter clock. I plan on showing up in sweatpants and being cranky. 

21 comments:

  1. I never knew I was boiling my eggs wrong! Well, when Easter comes, I'm definitely going to do it your way- they look so pretty and yellow! I used to have a crush on my mailman...why must all great-looking older men be gay? It's not fair ><. I have yet to be summoned for jury duty, but I hear there are very few ways to get out of it- like death or severe illness. I could imagine you in sitting in baggy sweatpants with an angry "I don't wanna feckin' be here" glare while the attorneys or whoever talk to the jury :D
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds like a good idea to me lol. Or you could just get out of it by saying you're a white supremacist. Haha, j/k.
    That salad does look absolutely yummy!
    I will have to try it.. Maybe after my attempt at fasting lol.
    Have fun with your postmaster =]
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your egg salad look yummy.

    I nominate cinnamon as the most generous person in the world!! Did you get my mail to you or the postman eaten it up? Cinnamon got hers already...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello, Muffin!

    That postman sounds dishy! Just because he doesn't check out the ladies, doesn't mean the ladies can't check him out! Stalk him, Sister!

    I'm a total slut for egg salad! I make mine with heaps of curry powder! Yum! I'm definitely giving that recipe a try. I spotted herbs d'Provence at Woolies, so it's full steam ahead, innit! Yeah!

    Hope you enjoy the book. <3. XXX.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha shame about the postmaster :P those eggs look so yummy! I wondered what I was doing wrong. We don't keep eggs in the fridge though, is that wrong?
    Lottie x

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perfect timing. I was just craving eggs. Now I can eat them without fear of having of that weird green slime in there. What is that anyway?!!

    Don't give up on the postman! He may just be sensitive and effeminate. Straight gay guys are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm surprised! I always liked my eggs with the supposedly overcooked center (that is, when I'm not smashing the yolk into the trash because half of the time it revolts me). I don't like the idea of orangy-yellow yolks in my HBEs. It seems like it's still somewhat raw. Craziness!!! ..It would be a shame if the postmaster was gay :/ He seems darling.

    xo
    Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  8. dont u just love our state so much lol
    that looks yummy i dont eat it though but it looks yummy

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's such a cute little pot you have! I'm obsessed with kitchenry, probably as a result of my food issues, so I notice things like that. ^_^;;;

    I wish I could try your excellent recipe, but alas, veganism. I'm sure it's great though. :)

    And your fantasy about running away with the postman sounds lovely. You should write a short story about it! :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. The food looks yummy!! and I was only going to stop by and drool at the pics. But I have something to say about the rest of the post.

    You live in New Jersey?

    ewwwwww

    Well me too, haha

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cool salad. If I still ate eggs...but maybe I'll give the flavor blend a try with some tofu.

    Fricking daylight savings time. I love it in the fall, hate it in the spring.

    ReplyDelete
  12. what a lovely story about your trip to the post office <3 haha

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am TOTALLY printing out those instructions for egg-boiling and nailing them to the kitchen wall. I can scramble, fry and poach with an acceptable success rate, but boiling eggs scares the bejeesus out of me!

    ALMOST laughed my twisted self sick at your tsunami comment. I love you!

    Toasting bread DEFINITELY makes it better! Untoasted bread forms a gross, compacted squidgy mass in your stomach forcing you to need to eat MORE to feel full. Toasted bread doesn't compact into a pile of mush, so you are satisfied with less bread in your gut. Toast=WIN

    *Dies* I love those hellraiser ponies! I hate the current line of MLPs. I've started attempting my own mods of mutant deep-sea ponies that eat nuclear waste to survive. Sadly, the tentacle hair looked a little too much like Na'Vi so I stopped. (They are prussian blue with silver eyes and pink/green/yellow/orange fluro markings)

    I was kinda wondering if you'd like a deep-sea mutant pony. The little fuckers are gonna take over my house if I let them breed!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Have you heard of Fanny Cradock? Lol Or Delia Smith. They are English cooks/ chefs, they are old/dead now but you should google them they are really funny. Delia's book opens with how to boil an egg and everyone thought she was patronising for it but really a lot of people don't know!

    Also I would muchly love a My Little Pony <3 but think we should do a trade of sending things? I love making packages for people. Email me eloiseonthewater@gmail.com xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. That is totally how I boil my eggs! My Botanist cousin informed me I was doing it wrong when I was 12, and so alas, my ways were changed. :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. I can still obtain one of them for you. Would you like it with or without the easter egg?

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are probably ALWAYS adorable - you'd be adorable even if you were wearing a trashbag.

    I haven't tried truvia, simply because I've heard it's just as bad as sucralose or aspartame, although I don't have solid evidence of that. I just stick to the powdered stevia that you can usually find with the supplements.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I've been in love with the librarian Mr. M for about 29 years. I spy on him now and then at the library in my old neighborhood. And then I swoon. I hardly ever let him check out my books for me coz I get too tongue tied and blush a lot.

    He's gotta be 60yrs old by now. lol TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO AGE. T_T

    Anyway...ahem. I agree with VictoriaCrimson...lol I like my boiled eggs kinda pale and crumbly inside (mine have no grey/brown crust though) coz the bright yellow/squishy interiors of eggs boiled the "right" way gross me out. I can't handle the texture.

    Also...I had some hella vivid dreams last night that made me wish I could commission you to turn them into ms paint masterpieces.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are adorable! i so love the pic of you in the Post Office! :) Annnnd, because of you, i bought the herbs...no, not THOSE Herbs. Hee, Peri made fun of me, 'cause i can't spell them....Waves, Hi , Peri!

    Love the cover on your pot! Husband is sooo impressed that now i am a hard boiled egg expert!

    Love you, Doll!

    ReplyDelete
  20. My bf is the exact same when it comes to hardboiled eggs, it can't be grey or brownish because then it's over cooked.

    I loved the postmaster story/cartoon, it made me laugh.

    about my quetsion the other day... I was wondering if I could use (or buy) a couple of your previous cartoons that illustrate technical difficulties so I can make a card. My cousin has been in and out of the hospital and is a computer wizard so cartoons with malfuntioning electronics would make him chuckle. wasn't sure how to go abuot asking... so here it is!

    ~ H

    ReplyDelete
  21. If a Cary Grant look-alike were my postmaster I would send myself letters just to have and excuse to visit him. So hot!

    And yeah, you're totes adorable.

    ReplyDelete

We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.