Monday, January 24, 2011

Well now I've got ADvice for you, little buddy: before you point your finger you should know that I'm the Man.


Mags, where has your blog gone?!?

Littleone, you need to post so I can comment on your blog, as you always have such lovely comments for mine. <3

And Nessa, where did your blog go?? I didn't want to leave comments on the teacher one, as I don't know if you want to mesh your career with weight logs blogs...

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. I have abandonment issues. You need to NOT stop blogging. >:(

*~*~*~*~*~*
Oh, Mondays--how I despise you! Always a day of contrition, of total guilt-ridden restriction. I was a bingey McFatass this weekend. And now I am fat, swollen, puffy, and covered in the Dairy Rash. My glands are large and they HURT. I can even see it in my face. PUFFY. And fat. So, so fat. 

FECK.

I did not get to hang out with Little Bro #2 yesterday. He had to "study" (code for: Step-mom doesn't want me taking him out because I might currupt him). I still went adventuring--two friends and I went to Columcille Megalith Park and took awesome photos, and then we visited Jayne Mansfield's grave.

And went to Wawa, where I pigged out. 

I would have been semi-ok with a giant Sunday binge (even though I binged on Friday AND Saturday because I suck at life) if it wasn't for Mum doing the food shopping. 

Mum knows better than to buy me cereal. I have told her on numerous occasions not to EVER buy me cereal. She knows what happens to me when there are boxes of my favourite cereals in the house. 
I have no control. None. At all. Cocoa Pebbles set off something in my brain. So what does Mum do on Sunday? She goes to the effing supermarket and buys me a box of mf Cocoa Pebbles. 

I came home from the Sunday Adventure and saw them in the cupboard.
And I could not resist. 
And then I could not stop.
I ATE THE WHOLE BOX. With milk (hence the Dairy Rash).

Mum caught me towards the end, as I was inhaling the last remnants of cereal from the bottom of the box. And you know what she says???

"You ate that WHOLE BOX?!"

I seriously almost lost it. 

Let's say you have a semi-recovered heroin addict living in your house. Would you go out and buy a giant bag of heroin and then leave it out in the kitchen where the heroin addict can see it? NO YOU WOULDN'T, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE RETARDED. 

Why can't Dean Winters fall through MY garage roof onto my car?


I was going to do a whole long post about Paul #1, but it died somewhere between my black heart and my keyboard. Maybe next time. 

28 comments:

  1. I think it was a bad weekend for pretty much everyone, so have hope, sweetheart :]

    And as always, I adore your masterpieces (especially you as a dinosaur!)

    And I love the Mayhem commercials too!!

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  2. Also had a nasty weekend. Terrible butter cookies, I can not stay off of them.. especially fresh.. and glazed.. and thin-as-omg-how-is-that-thing-not-burning-in-the-lamp-light? With extra vanilla. I made a double batch and ate half of it. Parents are dumb. I freak if my mom or dad goes shopping without me.

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  3. my week end was very bingey too. fuck us. lol.

    cereal is the same with me.
    if its in the house, i have to eat it.
    its such a stupid thing to love as much as i do.


    those mayhem commercials crack me up!

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  4. I had bad weekend too.
    Love your drawings. As always.
    <3

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  5. Ugh. Binges... wow. They really suck, don't they? I can't be around cereal either. Even if it's some shitty kind, I'll devour all of it. I hope things get better for you during the week.

    ~Cora

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  6. Cereal is a weakness of mine too. I can't keep it in the house or I will eat the entire box in a day. That and peanut butter.

    And I fing love those comericals! Dean is so sexy.

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  7. love this post and your illustrations!!! cereal is like by favorite binge food of all time. : )

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  8. oh my goodness! i adore your pictures! sorry you binged this weekend. we always have the week to make up for out weekend mistakes. good luck! and your mother should definitly be smarter next time. :P

    stay lovely. <3

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  9. Wow. What was it about last weekend? Moon cycle? Weird tides? There were multiple substance binges all over the board, but mostly potatoes. With chili pepper infused olive oil. Dunno.

    And seriously- FUCK COCOA PEBBLES.

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  10. You know what's hell annoying?
    When I post something and it deletes.

    Anyway, what I was saying is (and sorry if this sends twice) - I totally understand about mums buying stuff like that.

    I'll say to my mum that I feel like chocolate - and then I'll say - but DON'T buy the chocolate, there's too many calories.. (like, I literally slow down my words and emphasize the don't) but within the hour there's a family block size of chocolate in there and I eat the whole thing.
    And then I start screaming and blaming her for why I'm fat.
    It's ridiculous - well, about me screaming anyway.

    But WHY the crap can't mums understand to just NOT buy this stuff when we say DON'T buy it?!
    I just say I want something out loud so my cravings go away (it works!)
    I don't know whether you asked your mum to not buy it - but my mum does this all the time.
    Ohhh bless her. I love my mama.

    Have a good week ya lovely girl.

    xx

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  11. it was a horrible wkd for me as well so ur not alone there
    yeah im bad with cereala s well so ur not alone there
    god i hate snow and we are gonna get more of it

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  12. i used to have coco pebbles when i was a kid, but they don't sell them anymore because australia discontinues anything awesome, like poptarts! your cartoons made me laugh like always. hope you feel better soon.
    did you get my address btw?
    x

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  13. I love your drawings. In my real life I have a blog with all my drawings similar to yours that talks about my every day life. I wish I could share it but I don't want anyone finding out who I am. Anyways, sorry about the cocoa pebbles incident. Hope you're having a lovely day!

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  14. Mags said folks were getting suspicious so she deleted her blog =(. Bingery McFatass- that was funny! Weekends are always suckish eating with me as well. I think weekends were designed for failure or something! Cerek is second on the "binge list" right after chocolate. Mom buys cinnamon cheerios on one day and they're gone the next. Can't have cereal around me either!

    Ooh, cocoa pebbles...I remember the last time I had them- April of my Junior year in high school at my uncle's house in Florida...good times. Those were the best! Oh, and Resse's puffs :D And have I complimented your MS paint skills yet? Because you're awesome ^^

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  15. Ooooh, I feel your pain :( I was good over the weekend because I was sick, but I totally binged today. So awful. Don't feel bad, a couple days wont make a difference :)
    That's an awesome picture of the grave! I love looking at graves.

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  16. Oh, Monday,fucking Monday,what is it about that day..................?????
    i dunno what to say except....SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i loves your blog, Mich!

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  17. awe, i hope you get to see your brother soon. stupidevilstepparents.
    omgosh cereal. i did the same thing saturday when my mother bought a box of cheerios. i must've told her not to a million times. all gone. Why Do They Do This?

    staystrong, page.

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  18. You are mylifeline, seriuosly.If not for you. i would go downsastairs and take all the pills and etoh i could find.

    Thank you, my lovec .vb c v

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  19. Bingety binge binge. That was me.... Ugh

    I'm still here!! I just removed my blog from the list on my profile so that my collegues couldn't see it. :)
    http://wordsfromanaspiringhumanbeing.blogspot.com/

    Don't worry, when I move it (which I'm considering doing) There will be MANY warning posts on current blog. :)

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  20. Crap weekend for me too. :(. There's even pictures as evidence, but I love your drawings.

    Mondays really do suck. Ugh.

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  21. LMAO Mich I love you, seriously your post crack me up!
    Coco puffs are so good, nomnomnom:D I binged all weekend too, everyday so DON'T feel bad (I know, easier said than done) my sisters boyfriend chef came into town, making chocolate lava cakes & such (asshole).

    You need to tell your stepmom to F off.

    Dean Winters is sexxxxy. :)

    When I was little I used to call Mondays "Monday fun day!" --now Monday is definitely the shittiest day of the week. Fat fluff, guilt stricken head, and a bloat/gas mix to go along with it all.. no fun day about that. I wish we could all go back to being little kiddos!

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  22. DD has requested "Rule 34" on the T-rex vs. Cocoa Goldblum pic.

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  23. Oh wow, just look at all that snow. You girls must have frozen your bum feathers off! Sorry you didn't get to hang out with your brother. Hope step-mom goes into heavy menopause!

    I can't believe your mom can be so evil! I have a weakness for Strawberry Pops. I know, it's nasty, but I liked them as a kid! My housemate can't keep away from Frosties, I think it's because of the tiger! Sucker! Needless to say, we are both dairy and carb sensitive and end up feeling dreadful afterwards! Sorry to hear you're feeling so shitty, I hope it passes soon.

    As always, your cartoons had me howling! I especially love Mich-zilla! Cute! Mmmmm... Dean! Yum-yum! <3. XXX.

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  24. I LOVE cereal too!! ugh - i purposely buy the kind i dont like for my boys so i wont eat it. like sugar smacks - hate those.

    have you ever been to sleepy hollow cemetery? it is amazing! i went on halloween and spent hours walking through all by myself taking pics and enjoying the fall colors. sooo many wonderful headstones i couldnt get enough.

    oh! your animations are a riot! they seriously make me laugh out loud - i think cuz i relate so well :)

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  25. cocoa pebbles sound seriously awesome. like milo cereal and cocoa pops mashed together....no not really actually. just pebbles of chocolatey awesomness i presume. cereal is something i don't usually go for but if i do i can never stop. it's a dangerous thing.
    x

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  26. Your pictures are a treasure, just like you!

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  27. I seriously love all of your little drawings. And we both had a bad day. Its normal. We can get back into the swing of things!

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  28. I know what you're talking about... I have numerous and sneaky evil archnemesises that will not for the love of All That's Good and Holy leave me the F alone. It's an exhausting cruel fight that is never over. Ever. It's a Lord of The Rings situation.

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