The lovely Lou gave me an award! Thank you darling; I feel like I should make a speech or something...
Instead, I shall now provide 10 facts about myself.
1.) I started smoking at a very young age.
Ok fine, not that young. I was actually 12.
2.) When people meet me for the first time, they often despise me on sight. I come off as snobby and bitchy and stuck up. One friend's mother even called me pompous. I enjoyed that.
3.) My hair has not been its "natural" colour for 13 years. That's half of my life.
4.) As I child, I was obsessed with learning to fly. I did such things as covering myself in Disney brand fairy dust and jumping down whole flights of stairs, and leaping out of tall trees with an umbrella. Miraculously, I was never injured.
5.) I also once put myself down the laundry chute.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, the space between the cupboard and the opposite wall was not very wide.
6.) I practise witchcraft. A lot. But I no longer curse or hex people in anger, because that sh*t works and it now makes me nervous.
7.) I can rig a pretty impressive explosive from basic household objects.
8.) Using some of those same household objects, I can also construct a gravity bong that will leave you partially brain-dead and unable to move or speak for several hours. And I can make a bowl out of a toilet roll, tin foil, and plastic cling wrap.
9.) I refuse to touch pennies. They freak me out.
10.) I hate cheese. And not just like, "ew, I don't like cheese." No. I HATE cheese. Hate the way it looks, tastes, smells, how it feels in your hand (I won't touch it; you can't make me). If given a choice between eating cheese or eating a human flank steak, you better believe I'm eating the steak.
Actually, I'd probably try that steak anyway just out of curiosity, so that's not a good example...
I once vomited in a cheese shop. Mum made me go in (I was like 7 or 8) even though I begged and pleaded to be left outside because I could smell the nastiness from the door and REALLY didn't want to go in. So yeah, I vomited in the middle of the shop, all over the floor.
And now, five bloggers who get the Honest Scrap award--I could no sooner choose a favourite pair of shoes, so I painstakingly wrote down many many names and pulled four out of my coffee cup at random. You all deserve this award as far as I'm concerned, so this seemed fairest.
I did, however, choose one on purpose: Peri, because she's having a rough time, and because I love her dearly. If anyone deserves a blogger award for honesty, it is Peri.
And the award goes to....:
- Lilah Lee
- Wren
- Sofia
- and Cinnamon Brown
<3 always
It's funny, to me, that when I look at your list I think to myself-- "Wow! I always wished I could have done that as a kid." or "I wish I could do that now!" lol! Most notably: the laundry shoot--> ALWAYS wished, when I was a kid, that I had one. Or the little elevator things that people used to put food on to send to other floors from the kitchen-- what are those called? Dumb Waiter or something. Then, the witch craft thing-- cool. I used to date this guy who was conviced that I had powers. Things used to always happen to him that I said would happen to him right after I said they were going to happen. For example, we where hiking up a mountain stream once (and this guy had the most amazing balance ever) and he was leaping from rock to rock and I said something like if you aren't more careful you are going to fall in. Well, low and behold, the next leap he took, he took onto a loose rock that fell out from under him and dumped him in the water. Yeah-- this could happen to anyone, but things like this happened all the time. To the point where he was afraid to upset me because it would always happen when I was angry with him-- like in Harry Potter. These things do not happen to me anymore... I think I have lost my powers.
ReplyDeleteEvery post you get more interesting!
ReplyDeletexx
love u mich
ReplyDeleteu facts are crazy but love them
i havent seen my nautural hari color in years either
i saw wanna go downa laundry shoot now ha
We sooooo need to hang out IRL. Seriously. I don't think any city could contain the awesome power of two stoned witches with an agenda.
ReplyDeleteI love you more than kitties! Thank you my angel! I love this post, you're hilarious! My only other talent is breaking into houses. I've dome it four times! Big deal!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to know I'm not the oly practicing witch! Hope you have a great evening. <3. XXX.
Do you even know that I jumped down a laundry shoot to escape the wrath of a spider. It was not a fun time. I feel your drawing to be quite accurate. I love your list. Cheese...really. Well...everyone has to hate something. I guess I can agree. Not a huge fan of cheese. It has the weirdest textures. Bleh.
ReplyDeleteGod, I WISH I hated cheese that much. I love cheese. It's kinda gross how much I love cheese. I could probably sit down and eat half a block if I wanted to.
ReplyDeleteOh Mich, somehow a lot of that doesn't surprise me - you do seem like you'd be the sort of child who would want to fly :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you're staying out of this terrible ice.
Thanks for the encouragement - I'm actually doing well, I had a smoothie after the gym (1/2 a banana, frozen melon, almond milk and flax), homemade tomato soup, and green tea... we can do it!
I freaking love this! You are definitely an inspiration +)
ReplyDeleteI love the laundry chute story :]
ReplyDeleteHey hey hey!!
ReplyDeleteOff topic, I know...but are there any tarots left for little old me from across the pond...?
On topic: you f*ckin crack me up, girl.
Luv+hugs
Yep, I have totally put both of my brothers down our laundry chute in my day. A sister has to do what a sister has to do.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I used to jump off the roof with umbrellas. It's nice how kids can believe it'd work.
ReplyDeleteYou also sound quite dangerous with your home-made explosives, witchcraft and gravity bong. Although, I would like to try that gravity bong out!!
xx
Love the facts:)
ReplyDeletePeople always think I'm a stuck up bitch when first meeting me. I'm just so socially awkward is the problem I think :/ Not sure.
I used to always go down my Nana's laundry shoot in her house:O Ah the fun of being a kid!
Teach me some witch craft:D I need to put a hex on a couple of people+I've always been into it, I used to watch movies like "The Craft" and stuff & felt like a real witch lol
dude...every time you blog with tool lyrics as titles, I get those songs stuck in my head all day. >_< lol
ReplyDeletealso, yes. laundry chute is a helluva rocky ride...why didn't you go in feet first?!
p.s. this BBG shit is gettin cray-cray in the hizzay.
Yay, Tool! I've been in Maynard-mode for days now. Tool, Puscifer, APC...
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think I love you.
My friends Dad used to rub pennies on warts and then throw them away. Apparently (old wives tale) that gets rid of them. I no longer think dirty pennies on the ground are lucky. :P
ReplyDeleteOmg I laughed so hard at the laundry chute story (and pic!) I nearly pissed my pants!
ReplyDeleteI'm a little jealous of witches sometimes. Praying seems even more passive in comparison. I dunno if i'd call down hexes but I can think of a few peeps i'd like to call karma down on.
Also for some reason I want to talk to trees. The older the better. It'd probably be like talking to an Ent tho huh? Long-winded and very slow.
Plus if I really knew and felt how much the planet is suffering, i'd probably go homicidal.
oh my! this is the second time i have received this award! thank you very very VERY much! and thank you again for the cards and the necklace. (:
ReplyDeleteyoure a cute little smoker.
also, witchcraft. very cool.
and i wish i were creative enough to make my own bongs. but i will forever resort to coke can bowls as a last resort. ive become quite good at making them. haha.
stay lovely. <3
Hahahaha the laundry chute thing reminded me of this one time that I decided to try to fall on my butt and jump back up like you'd do on a trampoline, only on the floor. Needless to say, I did not try that again.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt is/was Wiccan. Pretty cool stuff :)