Friday, March 26, 2010

Slowly, but surely.


Weighed in this morning at 108 lbs! I hate to count my chickens before they hatch, because I have to still be at 108 for the afternoon weigh-in before it's official, but I needed to brag.

My bff happened to catch me logging my dinner into my calorie diary last night, and gave me a long-winded lecture on how I really shouldn't be doing this to myself again. (Meanwhile, she abuses the Points Plan like it's her job and is a consistent binge-and-purger.) She insisted that I don't "look right" when I get down lower than 110, and that I look way better heavier, with curves, and boobs and hips.

Ok, so I'll be honest: sometimes when I'm a little "curvier," I really like the way I look. I have a natural hourglass, and so I get the whole Marilyn Monroe figure, and Marilyn was fabulous and perhaps the most gorgeous person who ever lived. And I do love food, so it's nice thinking I look good with the curves, and can eat pretty much whatever I want as long as I exercise regularly.

And then there's that voice in the back of my head that gets louder and louder as the number on the scale gets higher, the voice that says YOU ARE SO FREAKING FAT YOU SHOULD JUST DIE, and YOU SHOULDN'T BE EATING ANYTHING!!! That voice is stronger than the more pleasant one that says, go ahead and eat, you know you look hot with boobs and hips. But I have to listen to the super-skinny voice. I have to be a size 0. Or better yet, a 00.

So far today, I ate: 1 bowl cereal, with a bit scooped off the top of the measuring cup (120), coffee (10).

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