There's a funny side effect of starvation that they don't really tell you about in books, or in those Lifetime movies about troubled teens: not eating makes you have dreams about eating.
They start slowly. Last night, for example, as I was just getting into a deep sleep I had a dream that someone offered me a delicious chocolate mousse cake. They had a huge piece of it cut for me on a paper plate, and they took a chunk of it with a plastic fork and held it up to my mouth. I woke up trying to take a big bite out of thin air, and it hurt my teeth.
They get worse as my weight gets better. I think the most ridiculous one I ever had was last summer. I was on some beach resort that had a boardwalk lined with tons of really amazing restaurants. Since I was really hungry, I went down the boardwalk and stopped in each restaurant, and the staff brought me piles and piles of delicious foods: hamburgers, crab cakes, lobster ravioli, risotto, greasy fish & chips, baked potatoes swimming in butter, undercooked brownies.... you get the idea. So I stuffed my face in every single restaurant, and then at some point I thought, "OH MY GOD, I'VE JUST EATEN LIKE 10,000 CALORIES!!!" I panicked, kicked off my high heels, and sprinted off down the beach. I refused to stop running until I had burned off every last ounce of fat. I woke up covered in a cold sweat, and did not consume anything other than Diet Pepsi for 2 days.
So far today, I ate: 1 bowl cereal measured (160), 1 cup coffee with half & half (20).
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