I feel like the girl in this video...
4 days of what feels like non-stop NOMming. No counting. No exercise yesterday or today (writing group yesterday, family effing dinner today). Recovery attempt number 587548394389 is sinking faster and with more casualties than the Titanic because the effort of keeping a smile on my face while feeling my hips/thighs/tummy/arms expanding is going to give me an aortic aneurysm.
I want to not eat tomorrow. Not eat Thursday. Or Friday. Snort some vitamins* and exercise until I can't feel my legs.
We shall see.
So Bipolar Auntie is here since Thursday last, and tonight we're going to visit rich family friends in Mendham. Their daughter, who is 20 years old, might be joining us. She just graduated from Johns Hopkins a year early with not one, but TWO bachelors degrees, and has just gotten a job at some giant corporate financial thing on Wall Street.
Mich (1 bachelors degree a year late) = Giant Failure at Life
These are our friends and their mammoth house. I love her. She reminds me of Marilyn Monroe. And she's possibly the sweetest person alive, which means I can't hate them for being filthy rich, or for spawning the world's most awesome genius child.
FML. I'm gonna go get sh*tfaced now.
<3
Hahah, Mich, I love you. This entire post made me smile.
ReplyDeleteJesus, two bachelor's degrees. I feel horribly inadequate. I could have graduated this year but I'm *still* working on mine. And just one.
Much love! xoxoxo
Oh my god! That house is amazing! Love the kitchen and the garden!
ReplyDeleteAnd two bachelor's degrees a year early!
Haha, some people have all the luck. I'm in shock :P
Lottie x
at least u have a bacholars degree id otn even ahve that i only have an assocaites
ReplyDeleteOMFG I WANT THAT HOUSE!
ReplyDeletedon't you hate people who have what seems to be the perfect life..... but then you can' hate them because they are sooooo nice. I have a friend like that I want to hate her but just can't
The house is amazing! Gorgeous architecture but really for just the two of them (assuming all children are moved out) the house is a little excessive. Still wow...just...wow.
ReplyDeleteWell I have the one BA AND a post grad certification and I'm still working in retail. It's all about who you know not what you know.
I feel just like that, Mich.
ReplyDeleteLast grade completed: 8th
# of times trying to do high school: 3 (The last one was forced upon me though)
I finally got my GED a year earlier than my graduation was anticipated, but I still think I'll just suck at doing college (Community college at that).
Have fun getting shitfaced, but how can you NOT have fun?
i've been eating like a 1000 pound woman lately. i feel your pain. i want to not eat tomorrow too but I know i will, but I am going to try to either do all liquids or keep it under 300. I feel HUGE.
ReplyDeleteI'm 22 and don't even have an associates degree..for fuck sakes how can you be 20 with TWO bachelor degrees? god I wish I was smart AND rich. Hope you have fun! xoxo
That house is crazy...but it doesn't seem very cosy or comfy!
ReplyDeleteAlso...hehe they say words funny :P
xxx
It's official, I'm a mugwump. I've had many days of noming while not counting as well. I fear yesterday was nearer to the 2,000 cal range. Sort of makes me want to join those casualties and jump off the Titanici! I was thinking last night about fasting until Saturday as well because I can't stand the thought of my body expanding or the numbers on the scale rising- so I'll be joining you in your fast :).
ReplyDeleteWow, that girl is 20 with 20 Bachelor's degrees?! Holy crap...I'm 22 and I won't be getting my first one until next summer! She either must be really smart or really rich and could afford summer classes. Or probably both. I hope you're able to enjoy yourself as much as possible at your aunt's house, even though that may be quite hard ♥
Hey, Mich, you know what? You suck at failing life. I'll be 26 when I get my ASN this summer, and you know what? I'm not that great at failing either (I'm having a good day, don't burst my bubble). I'm a mostly functional human being, and there are many who aren't. Still madly jealous of her though :P
ReplyDeleteI swear, I've never seen such an amazing house ever! I bet you're not doing as bad as you think you are. Stick it out, we'll all get there in the end :)
ReplyDeleteI'm 20 and working on my first BA... And that's with summer school to make up for missed semesters! I can't imagine having two in the bag at this age!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy being sh*tfaced... I may join you! xx
You are SO not a giant failure at all! My degree is... well by now it's like 7 years late. Those letters behind the name mean nothing, you are freakin' awesome the way you are.
ReplyDeleteMmmmm... the food situation sounds like a bummer but I hope things work out somehow and you feel better. I was totally thinking about that movie the other day. The part where that other girl is talking about how she used to have an eating disorder and zoolander and hans laugh and talk about how it's a great way to loose weight before a show. So true, so true. Love the new layout and you!
I'll hate them for you.
ReplyDeleteSays the woman without a bachelor after 5 years of Uni.
Fucking. HOBAG.
Also: I can't see your thighs from St Clair beach, so you're fine! *Glomps* Silly dragon!
Love you!
I fucking love that zoolander clip!
ReplyDeleteTyler tells me if I make it in the fashion design business that's how I'd me, like mugatu. lmao
don't worry about the food. pounds come and go.
You are amazing..
xoxox
That's a house where people live?? Really? Really? It's insane! I think I'd end up locking myself in a room and living solely in it...so much space! I was thinking it must be a bugger to clean, but then they probably have cleaners?
ReplyDelete'Harvestmen' does sound slightly Apocalyptic. The Harvestmen are coming...
I'm a little bit excited about your bug post, by the way :)
xx
I love the Zoolander clip. Another of my favorites is when they talk about how bingeing and purging is something EVERYBODY does and she tries to convince them it's an eating disorder! XD
ReplyDeleteAlso: HOLY FUCK THAT HOUSE. o.O