I am going to complain like never before.

This will be long and boring, but here is the only place I can really vent about this.

The one potential issue that made me reluctant to accept a place on the church council has arisen.

Politics.

Over the last few months, our church has turned into the bloody War of the Roses. It's like a Game of Thrones episode without the actual violence.

Brief summary--Pastor Fusspot came to our church back in 2012. We embraced him and his family because his wife is one of those people who is so good and kind and wonderful she's like a little ray of perfect sunshine. idk how the hell he managed to get her to marry him.

I didn't notice any issues until about a year later, when I started (or at least tried to start) getting involved with the church's children's ministries. To keep this short[er], basically Pastor Fusspot is a control freak, a micromanager, a very poor speaker, and he has a problem with women.*

This eventually led to a big blow up between Pastor Fusspot and the couple who used to be in charge of the music. Luke and April left the church, taking the whole band with them.**

Then Mike the Band Leader and his wife were hired to manage the music, and they brought in their friends to make up what is now half of the band (the other half being me, Lil Bro#2, one of the drummers, two 13 year old girls doing backup vocals, and New Guy on the keyboard).

Our band is fantastic. We've had visitors to our church tell us we have one of the best worship teams they've ever seen. I didn't even realize how good we are until I visited a couple other churches and saw their bands. We rock.

Pastor Fusspot and Mike the Band Leader started butting heads from the get go. Nothing major, it's just Pastor Fusspot being his micromanaging self and wanting to control every last thing that goes on in the church and Mike the Band Leader trying to get him to see reason when he's about to make a stupid decision.

Mostly they just agreed to disagree whenever an issue arose and went on peacefully co-existing.

Then Pastor Fusspot & Family went away for a couple weeks to help a family member down in Florida. In their absence, Mike the Band Leader and one of our other church leaders gave sermons for the 2 Sundays Pastor Fusspot was away.

Mike the Band Leader is an amazing speaker. Everyone loved his sermon. And word of this got back to Pastor Fusspot. (And I think many of us realized then what a poor speaker Pastor Fusspot is...)

This is when the serious head-butting between them began. It's been one thing after another--Pastor Fusspot doesn't like the songs we're playing, now we're not allowed to do anything even remotely country, no Pastor doesn't like these songs either, Pastor doesn't want Doe leading more than 2 songs per Sunday, Pastor doesn't want Mike's Wife leading any songs ever, Pastor doesn't want to get one competent person running the sound board every Sunday, etc etc etc etc.

And then two weeks ago, Pastor Fusspot tells Mike and his wife that the wife is no longer allowed to be in the band because Fusspot doesn't like her voice. She can work the sound board instead.

We need Mike's Wife. She has the best stage presence out of all of us. She's a freaking wizard when it comes to harmonizing on vocals. She's the best at directing all the backup singers. And for some reason when she and I sing together, the combo of our voices sounds like the singing of the effing angels themselves. Yes, she is the best at working the sound board, but snatching her off the worship team before training someone to really replace is just plain stupid.

Mike the band leader tried reasoning with Pastor Fusspot, but of course Fusspot would have none of it. Mike tried once again to find us a somewhat professional sound person (because we really need someone one the board who knows what they're doing) and even offered to pay the potential sound person out of his own pocket. But no matter what Mike said, Fusspot just shut it down.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon.

I get a phone call from Pastor Fusspot that he has scheduled an emergency council meeting for 7.00 PM. He won't tell me what it's about. I told him I couldn't go because I had an appointment at the sheriffs office regarding my gun permit (and it takes MONTHS to get an appointment, I made this one back in February), so Fusspot says to call as close to 7 as I can and they'll conference me in.

I told Mike about the emergency meeting (not to blab, we just text back and forth a lot every day, mostly sending each other stupid youtube videos) and he said, "oh dear"..... and then told me he put all his thoughts of what's been happening the last few weeks into a letter and sent it to Pastor Fusspot that morning.

I called into the meeting at about 7.30. Three of us were attending via telephone, as only three of the other council members could make it to church. What followed was the most frustrating and stressful and drama-filled 90 minutes I've had this year.

Pastor Fusspot wants Mike gone. But he won't fire him because then Mike can claim unemployment benefits. So he has come up with a plan that will guarantee Mike quits. As I have noticed that Fusspot is fond of doing, he bends the truth to suit his side of things, misquotes members of the congregation to back himself up, and at one point even outright lied about someone in church telling him that Mike has been stirring "dissension" within the congregation.

One council member expressed his concern (and not for the first time) that Mike leaving the church could destroy what took us several years to build back up. Myself and one of the other council members (who is a drummer in the band) seconded this notion. One council member declined to offer a real opinion. Two of the council members--both members of our church since it started back in the 80's--lean more towards Pastor Fusspot's side out of loyalty to the church itself.

When the meeting was headed to its end and Pastor Fusspot demanded we each weigh in on his plan, I expressed a desire to be left out of that vote. I was honest--I said I think I'm too close to this situation to be objective about it, especially since Mike and his wife are two of my closest friends. The drummer agreed with me. But Pastor Fusspot wouldn't have it. In the end, me and the drummer were basically forced into an "ok fine do it" and the meeting was adjourned.

I did not tell Mike details of what happened in the meeting, but I told him enough so that he was forewarned. But then this morning I was like f**k it.

I'm done. I am done with Pastor Fusspot's constant stream of bullsh*t, I am done with his awful sermons. I am done with his total lack of respect for women. I am done with him treating everyone who has been trying to help him like they do not matter. He does have a few good qualities, but at this point it is apparent that he will never compromise enough for those qualities to do any good in the church.

I feel horrible about this. If Mike leaves the church, the band goes with him. The two teenage girls on backing vocals will remain because of their parents. The drummer/other council member could go either way, but I can see him following us out the door. New Guy on the keyboard might stay behind, but based on the fact that he and his wife have become good friends with Mike and his wife, I doubt it.

On top of that, our families will leave with us. Pastor Fusspot has to know this. No one can be that stupid.

So in one ill-advised action, Pastor Fusspot has lost his church their worship team, two of the only people in the congregation who know how to work the sound board, the person in charge of coffee and snacks in the cafe who also organizes almost all of our big events, several of the people who volunteer at all out our outreach events, two council members, two Church Board members..... basically if the church was a chair, he just cut off three of its legs.

I'm starting to have heart palpitations, so I think I'll stop now. If you've made it this far, I give you a virtual hug. Because I think I need a hug.

*Once upon a time I tried getting involved with leading Youth Group. I just wanted maybe one weekend a month, to get the kids doing arts and music and whatnot. My request was not even denied by Pastor Fusspot, it was ignored. And then a month later Pastor Fusspot hands total control of Youth Group to Lil Bro#2 for the entire summer, and Lil Bro#2 didn't even ask for it.

**April told me afterwards when we met for a few beers one evening that she had tried to set up a sort of sub group of Youth Group to get the kids involved with music. This was also ignored.

Epic Complain Session, Part Deux

So here I am, at half past one in the morning following the most ridiculous debacle of backstabbing and lies and nonsense with which I have ever had to deal.

When I last left you, we'd had the *emergency council meeting* with regard to Mike the Band Leader and me as a church council member being forced to agree that we needed a sort of *intervention* where Mike would more or less be forced to apologize to Pastor Fusspot and be forevermore obedient. 

For the sake of the church, Mike actually considered going along with this. 

And then the drama began.

Someone--later I found out Other Drummer/fellow council member--went and told Pastor Fusspot that I immediately told Mike every single detail of what was said during the emergency council meeting. Which I absolutely did not, at that time. Mike asked should he be worried, and I said you're not fired, but this isn't going to just blow over. 

That is all I would say then, because I was still trying to be loyal to the church while also being a loyal friend. 

Something I did not get into in the last post because I was too frustrated/angry/FDNJKDFGBHDFGBJSFDBJSFBJKGDFJKN

A few weeks ago, Pastor Fusspot was away and Junior Pastor filled in to do the Sunday sermon. A week before that, Junior Pastor emailed Mike a detailed outline of the sermon he had planned, so that we the worship team could plan the songs to tie in to Junior's sermon. 

It worked really well. After service that Sunday, Mike told Junior, "You did a really great job, and sending that outline was really helpful. Maybe we could pitch that to Pastor Fusspot, so then every week we can tie the music in to whatever Pastor Fusspot is addressing in his sermon."

At the emergency council meeting, Pastor Fusspot informed us, the council, that Junior told him Mike said, "Your sermon was so much better than Pastor Fusspot's, I wish his sermons were more like yours."

Junior would not lie about what Mike said, it's just not in his nature. So Pastor Fusspot deliberately twisted Junior's words to support his own personal witch hunt. 

In the days following, I learned that Pastor Fusspot lied about several other things. Important things that were told to the council to support Fusspot's anti-Mike agenda. 

But we still tried to keep it together for the sake of the church. We had a good band rehearsal Saturday, we had a really good set planned. We could do the set, break it to the congregation gently that the band would be leaving, and everything could go forward in a civil and grown-up fashion. 

But also on Saturday morning, we noticed that someone had unplugged and moved one of our speakers on the stage. One of three identical speakers. Two of those speakers belong to the church, one belongs to Mike. 

It was Mike's speaker that was moved. Not a big deal. But recently, we've had incidents of our equipment getting moved and damaged, most of those damages only discovered when we had a band rehearsal and noticed the speakers/amps/microphones/etc were broken. So Mike texted Fusspot to see if he knew of anything being moved/damaged, and Fusspot says oh my bad, I needed that speaker for a thing so I took it and then brought it back. 

And we were all like ........... um ................... there were two speakers that belong to the church that he could have taken, but he took Mike's without asking? Mike wouldn't have cared. It was the fact that Fusspot just took it for his personal use without asking and then didn't put it back where he found it that really pissed Mike off.

Knowing Fusspot as long as I have, I have no doubt that he did that intentionally. A passive aggressive move intended to set off Mike. And it worked. 

So Saturday night, in a fit of broiling emotions, Mike posted on facebook saying he was looking for a place in a church that needs a band. He threw in a few too many angry details in the post, which he regretted, but hey we all do stupid sh*t on social media when we're upset.

One council member saw the post, took a screen shot of it, and sent it to Pastor Fusspot.

I got a text at 10.45 on Saturday night from Pastor Fusspot--a message to the whole council that we MUST be at church on Sunday morning at 8.00 for an emergency meeting. 

But I was like yeah f**k that. I responded Sunday morning with my apologies and said I was asleep before the message was sent and would not be there at 8.00. I felt horrible lying, but I knew I couldn't go to that meeting. 

I get to church for band rehearsal a little early, at 8.30 (we usually start rehearsal at 8.45). I go in and find the council, Pastor Fusspot, and Junior Pastor sitting in the dark looking very grim. Fusspot, who I realized then must actually believe all of his own BS, says that he cannot allow Mike to lead the band because of the *~*slanderous nature*~* of the facebook post. 

This might be hands down the dumbest move Fusspot has ever made. 

We packed up all of the band equipment that belongs to Mike, which was pretty much all of the sound equipment in the church. Pastor Fusspot summons the rest of the band upstairs so he can feed us such an incredibly disgustingly vague and one-sided explanation of the *events* that I almost punched him in the face. 

And Fusspot actually thought the rest of the band was going to stay. Like we would actually stay there and go on like nothing was wrong after all this BS went down. 

We left. The band had a very nice breakfast at the Goshen Diner, and we are now actively looking for a new church to call home. 

I feel ok with this, but I feel awful about how all of this went down. I had several teary and emotional phone calls with friends I've made in the church who are absolutely devastated over the band's departure. And what kills me most is how this affects our two 13 year old singers. They couldn't just walk out with the rest of the band--they're still kids and thus have to stay where their parents stay. And they were DEVASTATED this morning when Fusspot announced that he wouldn't let Mike lead the band. 

I sent my official resignation to the council this evening. Not like anyone expected I would actually stay after all of this, but still just writing that short email was rough.

It is now twenty past two in the morning. I think I'm ok with everything that has happened, but I'm still processing it, and it's hard. 

I hope y'all are having a better weekend than I am. 

Easter Weekend Recap

Despite having a three day weekend, I feel about as worn out as Frodo did right after throwing Gollum into the fires of Mount Doom.

Remember in the last post, I bemoaned the fact that Mike the band leader was a bit less than organized with choosing the music for Friday's church service? Well, Thursday evening rolls around and lo and behold, when I checked the website we use for organizing services, we were still one song short.

Which meant that if he chose a song in the middle of the night, I would have pretty much zero time to learn it on the bass before the service Friday evening. I was already having trouble learning the three songs he had posted on Wednesday.

We'd been texting back and forth the whole week to come up with songs, so at around 11.00 PM on Thursday, I said hey, one of the songs I suggested has no music, only vocals, so that would save us the trouble of having to learn it on instruments. After thinking about it for a few minutes, Mike said perfect, we'll use that.

And you can lead the vocals.

In a moment of what I can only presume was sleeping pill-induced insanity, I said ok, and then went to bed.

Friday morning

I didn't have much time to stress about it during the day, because I had to do a ton of food shopping and then more baking. But then I had an hour to think about it on my way up to Dad's house.

By the time I got to the church for practice, I had consumed enough sedatives to kill a tyrannosaurus rex. They weren't really working.

But I got up on the stage, we practiced the other three songs, and then I sang this one.

 The other 2 vocalists backed me up after the first verse, so at least I wasn't singing the whole thing alone.

And then somehow, I was not nervous at all. Even when Mike the band leader said, 30 seconds before service started, that he wanted to do that song twice--as the opening and closing song--instead of just once at the end of service.

I mustn't have sounded that awful, because now they want me singing every other week.

I spent three hours on Saturday making the rainbow Spekkoek.

For some reason the top layers went a bit gooey overnight, which was very disappointing, but it tasted really good.

Easter Sunday began, as all holidays with Mumsy do, with fighting. I was shouted at because it is apparently my fault that there was no more vanilla extract, because I should have immediately gone out to the shops after making the Spekkoek to buy more, because apparently I have magical powers and should have known Little Sis needed vanilla extract on Sunday morning. Never mind the fact that Lil Sis had left barely a drop of it in the bottle to begin with and thus I didn't have enough for my baking.

remember the rage scale?

Rather than waiting around in the kitchen for the fighting to escalate, I kept silent, took the cast iron pan and half of the bacon outside (I don't like Irish bacon and we didn't have enough stove space for everything inside), and stayed there for rather a long time cooking the bacon on the barbecue.

During this time, Mumsy managed to sustain a rather severe burn off of the spatula she had left too close to the flame on the stove. (I was shouted at for this when I went inside to get some bread and a plate for the bacon. I went back outside and stayed there for nearly an hour.)

Since bacon grease tends to catch fire when there is too much of it in the pan and it reaches a certain temperature, I used a few slices of bread of soak up the excess grease.

Any of y'all ever eaten rye bread fried in bacon grease? IT IS FREAKING DELICIOUS. But I know my stomach, so I only had a teensy nibble before throwing the rest to the birds.

The backyard looked like a scene from the movie The Birds whilst I cooked the bacon. The grackles must have smelled it and so by the time I was done cooking, there were so many grackles in the nearby trees they were practically blotting out the sun. The noise was tremendous. They ate all of the fried bread with much enthusiasm.

Most of our guests had arrived by the time I went back inside, so the house was extremely crowded. I did not really get to enjoy our Easter fry up, as I spent most of the morning in the bathroom. (Remember the tiny nibble of fried bread? Apparently that's all it takes for my stomach to declare war on me.)

The rest of the day was uneventful, in a good way. I fled Mumsy's as soon as it was socially acceptable for me to do so, and picked up Drummerboy on the way up to Dad's.

Me, both Lil Bros, and Drummerboy all tried out Niecey G's new hoverboard in Dadum's driveway. It was a general fail, although Lil Bro #1 managed to stay upright for nearly a full minute. Niecey G naturally mastered it the second it came out of the box because she is still a child. Then we had a rather unexciting egg hunt, as Niecey G is the only child in the family at the moment. 

I feel bad for her that she has no cousins her age at these family events. The Easter egg hunts of my youth were like exercises in guerrilla warfare. She's totally missing out.

How about all y'all? Any good Easter stories to share?

I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, I'll kill you.

Sorry for the long silence. It's been a busy and hectic few days.

I took Friday off work to bring a car-load of stuff to the apartment and clean. Lil Sis came over to help and did an amazing job cleaning the bathroom.

(The previous tenant--who is now my next door neighbour--is very nice, but I do no think she cleaned. At all. Ever.)

Then my friend C and Niecey G hung around for a while, as mentioned in the last post.

Saturday, Drummerboy* and I picked up the Uhaul, and then he and 3 of our church buddies loaded it up with all of my belongings. During this time, the Simple Cat and Daisy called a truce, and Daisy allowed the Simple Cat to cower beside her under Lil Sis's bed.

When we arrived at the apartment with the Uhaul, Mike the Band Leader showed up with a bunch more people from church. They had everything into the apartment in 15 minutes. I have never seen furniture moved so fast.

I spent the rest of the weekend unpacking. I think the place looks quite nice.

living room

view of the kitchen from the living room

view of the kitchen from the other side

and the bedroom

Also the fridge is now adequately stocked.

Priorities.

Sunday, I had my date. It was.... ok I guess. We had a nice dinner. The Farmer is very nice and very much a gentleman, but I definitely get the feeling that he is the type of guy who expects the relationship to get physical after very little time has passed. I told him I am the sort of person who needs to take these things 

E X T R E M E L Y   S L O W L Y, 

but idk if he took me seriously. I'll see him again to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think it's going anywhere.

In other news, I've been asked to join a second church band as one of the bassists and backup vocalists they keep on rotation for their Tuesday evening service. I may also be joining Mike the Band Leader's actual band as a third vocalist. And all this time I didn't think I could sing at all....

Some highlights from my hour+ish commute:

*I think Drummerboy has a new girlfriend. I'd be lying if I said that didn't sting a little. I told Mumsy about it on Friday. She admitted to me that while she was talking to him Saturday, it took every ounce of her willpower not to punch him in the face and call him retarded because OBVIOUSLY I am like a billion light years out of his league and what in the hell is he thinking. That made me feel a little bit better.

How My Dates Went

First and foremost, I have discovered this band:



Give them a listen. Seriously. 


Secondly--Sam Lupin and Tempest, you are just going to have to learn to live with each other because I have no intention of stopping at only two wives.



And now, as I am sure all 558 of you have been positively DYING to hear*, I shall tell you about my dates (yes, DATES) over the weekend. **

Mike the band leader told me to just go for it, so on Saturday after band practice, I asked Drummerboy out. 

A truly enormous amount of xanax was consumed that day. 

while I checked my text messages every 30 seconds

Mike, Drummerboy, and most of the other church band members were playing for open mic night at the Gather Inn, which is a local AA meeting house, so Drummerboy and I had dinner at the Goshen Diner before open mic night started.

Drummerboy is 21 years older than I am (52). He has 2 kids--a 19-year-old who refuses to speak to him (I did not ask why), and a 30-year-old who is currently in prison for drug-related issues. We talked about our similar [horrible] childhoods and our issues with mental health and various addictions. He has been a recovered addict for 20 years. I had to draw a chart on a napkin to explain my immediate family.

Aside from being the drummer for the church band and a couple other bands with Mike, he is an electrical contractor and basically works for himself. (He the first boy with whom I have gone on a date who is gainfully employed, has his own car, has his own home, and just generally has his sh*t together.)

After that we went to open mic night, which was a lot of fun. Lil Bro#2 ended up coming, and he and I and Mike's 6-year-old daughter sat at the fireplace and kept the fire going the whole night because no one else seemed to be assigned to do it.

............I may or may not be singing the above song at an open mic night there in the near future. At that time, we shall find out just how much xanax I can consume before I am rendered unconscious.

On Sunday after church, Drummerboy and I walked into town and had lunch. Then we went on a long and aimless drive and listened to music and talked about ...........I don't even remember. Lots of stuff. We hung out for a total of like 4 hours. 

^Took that along the Upper Delaware Scenic Byway.

So yeah I like him a lot. But I don't want to rush into a relationship (and I don't think he does either). I know myself well enough at this point that I know I need to be friends with someone before I can be anything else. So we'll see how it goes.

How 'bout the rest of you, did y'all have a good weekend?














* sarcasm

** can you you tell I haven't been on a date in like a million years

Stop the world, I really f****ng want to get off.

We went camping this past weekend--me, Dadum, Stepmom, and both Lil Bros--to Ithaca, NY, to visit some waterfalls, the Mecca of Birdwatching, and watch the Tottenham Hotspur v. Liverpool game live in a pub.

While we had a good time, it felt like one thing after another kept going wrong. On the way up, Dadum's truck's check engine light not only lit up, but started flashing. We made it to the campsite and the 'rents found a mechanic to look at the truck on short notice, so hopefully problem solved.

Then something went wrong with the trailer's electricity. Not a huge issue, since--thank heavens--it didn't get hot enough at night to necessitate air conditioning, and the lights inside worked on their own batteries. But still, Mom and Dad had recently spent a considerable amount of time and money fixing various issues with the camper. There should not have been any electrical issues.

It rained a bit, but thankfully not as much as all of our weather apps had predicted. We saw some pretty waterfalls. 

I was traumatized by this sign at an ice cream stand in the park.

but managed to find comfort by befriending this spider

Dadum and I found a pub to watch the Tottenham v. Liverpool game over a few beers while Mom and both Lil Bros wandered Ithaca. Within the first like thirty seconds of the game, one of the refs made THE MOST RETARDED CALL IN FOOTBALL HISTORY and gave Liverpool a penalty kick for literally no reason at all. 

We lost 2 - nil. But otherwise it was a good game and despite losing, Tottenham had possession of the ball for like 80% of the game. 

On the way back into the campground, we noticed the most fantastic mini golf statue in the history of the multiverse. 

It took every last ounce of our willpower not to steal it.

We celebrated Lil Bro#2's 25th birthday Saturday evening, and sat around drinking and eating and generally being merry, even with the on and off rain. The Bros and I sat around the campfire chatting and laughing after Mom and Dad retired into the camper.

My phone rang. It was Mike the Band leader. I hadn't heard from him and his wife in a while, so I answered. I should have figured that it would be bad news, considering the call came at nearly 10.00 at night, but we'd all had quite a few drinks by that point.

I still wonder if maybe I shouldn't have answered. I mean, I would have found out anyway, but part of me wishes I had ignored the phone call and continued having a laugh with my brothers until we eventually turned in for the night. 

One of my friends (Drummerboy, who some of y'all might remember from when I was sort of dating him) was shot and killed in a diner parking lot on Saturday morning. By his own son. 

No one knows why. The best guess is an argument over money. They hadn't had a good relationship in years, mainly because of the kid and his mother demanding more and more money from Drummerboy even though he didn't have the money to give them. 

My friend's own fecking child MURDERED HIS FATHER over money. 

Friday I have to go to a family friend's wedding (we've all known each other since before any of us kids were born and our parents all worked for the same company in the 1970s). I've been dreading this since we got the invite, because I hate weddings in general (at least the stupid cliche weddings that literally every single couple I know has had over the years). 

Drummerboy's funeral is Friday at 11.00 AM. I had already planned to leave work early for the stupid wedding, so now Bossman and Bosslady are giving me a hard time about taking a full day off. Mumsy and I had originally planned to stay in a hotel after the wedding with Lil Sis, because it's kind of far from home. I told Mumsy that I will probably be ditching the wedding as soon as is socially acceptable so I can drive home.

Apparently this is incredibly selfish of me. 

So on Friday I'll be attending the fecking wedding after attending my friend's funeral, and I know I'm going to get a ration of shit if I don't act all happy and sociable at said wedding. The only reason I will resist getting blackout drunk is that I already desperately want to go home.

WHAT IS THIS GREENERY?!?

Howdy y'all, it's been a while. 

I've settled into the new place very nicely. Finally got my coffee table:

I think I need a rug to tie the room together.

And Big Sis#2 gave me her old dining room cabinet:

I need more Corningware to show off I think...

Naturally, the Simple Cat is extremely concerned with this new furniture. She wouldn't even go near it for the first day I had it. 

She is not, however, concerned about sleeping on the kitchen table, despite my many many attempts to keep her off of it. 

Harleyquinn is just as bad, though at least when she sleeps on the counter, she's not technically on the actual counter, but in something else that is on the counter. Such as the box in which their cat food was delivered.

You know what's hilarious? Photos of cats yawning.

In other, much more horrible and depressing news, Game of Thrones 

[SPOILER ALERT]

 has killed off my favourite character. 

Ramsay Snow Bolton

:***********(

In fairness, there is a 100% chance that everyone on Game of Thrones will die, but that doesn't make it any easier to cope. 


This Saturday (the 25th), my favourite brewery, Weyerbacher is celebrating their 21st birthday and holding a special event. VIP members (because of course I am) get a free ticket and special parking passes. Anyone in or around the Easton, PA area out there reading this? Want a free beer? No one will come with me and my VIP ticket is good for a +1. 

you cannot resist the Brunicorn

So apparently a lot of people are into Snapchat. Mike the Band Leader's 6-year-old daughter has been using my phone during band practice and Sunday service every week to send Snapchat pictures to everyone in my contacts. Apparently, my complete inability to understand Snapchat is due to the fact that I am Old. 

I refuse to be old. I am trying to do this Snapchat thing. It's weird. 

this makes me look like I actually have cheekbones

I refuse to be outdone by a 6-year-old

This one is probably the most accurate:

Summer is the dead season in law offices. I've spent a large chunk of my day today turning myself into a Disney Princess:

And an anime character:

Make your own here.

How are y'all doing? Tell me something interesting.