cake or death?

Kazehana thinks she's pretty effing smart. 


Little Bro does, too. Solving that sh*te in 15  minutes in his head. 


>:(




.....
I'm a bit drunk. I'm also a bit anxiety-ridden. 


I decided that I don't like using the word "fast" to describe one of the common things that I do when under stress. To me, fasting means consuming nothing at all except water, and it is generally done for religious purposes, or right before blood work. "Fasting" means you have some kind of goal in mind--something you wish to accomplish either physically or intellectually. 

We'll call it Not Eating. For me,  Not Eating reduces anxiety. My "fasting" means the only calories I consume come from the half & half in my coffee, or the occasional sip of protein shake or something similar. The total stays around 200 calories per day. I may have one of these things right before a workout, if I don't have enough energy for the elliptical, but that only bumps the daily cals to 250. 

This week:

Monday - 150, no exercise

Tuesday - ~260, 1 hr on elliptical (520 cals burned)

Wednesday - ~200, 1 hr on elliptical (505 cals burned)

Thursday - ~180, 45 mins light walking

Friday (today) - easing back into food (~800 cals), 40 mins on elliptical (250 cals burned)

This is kind of unhealthy.

DUH.

None of my other stress-relief methods are healthy either (drugs, cutting, cigarettes, nail/skin shredding, etc.). I need to find healthy ways to deal with stress. Because this mega-starve thing is part of a stave-binge pattern that is making me crazy. 

Will work on that and report back with my findings...

At least one healthy security blanket: my fav episode of Millennium.

(They have it on the internet! :D)

The next post may feature something exciting, with a giveaway of random stuff...

<3

Quickest way to find the needle? Burn the haystack.

All sorts of valuable life lessons can be learned from watching Oz.


(I've been on an Oz kick, if you can't tell...)

 For example, the fact that any and all disputes can be settled with violence. It may not have to come to violence, but if using your words is not getting you the desired results, you can always resort to physical intimidation. Most people are sissies--once they see that you are prepared to actually fight them, they will either back off or agree with you. Also, it always helps to act insane.

Simon Adebisi is such a muffin. <3

 Your sexual orientation is not set in stone.

 One should always protect their loved ones, especially if they are in any way incapacitated, or are of a fragile state of mind.

 And just because that boy is a bit funny after that blow to the head doesn't mean he's not cute as hell.

 Make bold fashion statements!

  And perhaps most important, one can make all kinds of useful weapons out of common household objects.

  

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 Has anyone else noticed how many American commercials there are narrated by Australian guys?

There's the Pledge dude.

And that whole grain cereal ad.

The self storage ad.

And of course, Outback

I'm pretty sure I missed one or two... Like seriously. Wtf. I have nothing against Australians obviously, but it just seems a bit odd to me... ?

The giant mutant crickets are back with a vengeance! They lurk in my basement, only occasionally venturing upstairs where they get mauled by the kitties.

Big Momma cricket has made several appearances.

I don't think that photo does her size justice. 


Hope you are all well! I'm at work and bored off my tree. Back into my usual binge-starve pattern. I binged all weekend, and as such have not really eaten since Sunday night. Yesterday I had about 150 calories total in half & half, protein shake, and cup o soup.  Today I'm about to hit the 100 cal mark, once I go make aforementioned soup. I feel delirious and dizzy and my trousers aren't quite as tight, and so the dizziness and not-tightness make me feel strangely elated. And I don't know how I feel about all this as a whole, so I'm just going to keep popping klonopin until I feel numb. So yeah, recovery kind of died........


But on the positive side of things, the boy has been texting me quite a lot. 


:D


<3 u all!!!!!!!!!!