Thanks so much for the gorgeous moonstone ring!!! You know who you are... I didn't know if you'd want it publicized so I'll leave you anonymous. You are far too kind. <3
And Dressage Woman, thanks for your comment. For some reason, Blogger won't let me comment on your blog. :(
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It is common practise among attorneys (and probably lots of other professionals) to dictate letters and pleadings and court notices and the like onto little tapes, so that their secretaries can play those little tapes back on a machine and type out everything their bosses dictated. This comprises most of my day at work. It's pretty easy stuff, but I must say that it's highly unpleasant when my boss--in the middle of his dictation--decides to cough or clear his throat very loudly. I listen to those tapes on headphones, and that cough is usually quite a bit louder than the speech. It's really not cool when I'm in the middle of typing a letter and suddenly get my eardrum blown out by my boss's coughing fit.
I have successfully fasted for 48 hours. Nothing but coffee, tea, and emergency V8 has entered my stomach. I have also not exercised, as it would probably be unwise to burn 500+ calories on the treadmill while taking in less than 200. The anxiety of Not Exercising really sucks. I need to keep telling myself that my life will not be ruined because I did not go on the treadmill 2 days in a row. I am not going to gain 20 pounds overnight from not exercising.
The fast shall continue until Mum notices and starts getting suspicious. So far I've managed to get out of dinner yesterday and today, but I doubt it will last much longer.
I found something fun under my bed yesterday:
It's a colour-your-own tarot deck. Now I most certainly do not have the patience or artistic skills to sit down and colour 78 tarot cards, so I thought perhaps I should dole them out amongst like-minded individuals. Anyone want a tarot card?? I thought I'd maybe start each one with something--like colour in a section, or start collaging--and then send it to one of you lovely ladies. You could colour and decorate it and then we would each have a piece of the deck; perhaps even exchange finished cards once they're done? Or maybe play with it for a week or so, and then pass it on to someone else? Idk, I thought it seemed like a cute idea. Let me know if you're interested, and what card you'd like!
Not much else to report. Life has been unnaturally quiet since the holidays ended. It's making me kind of jumpy, actually. My life is rarely this calm--there must be a natural disaster or plague outbreak headed my way......
No, scratch that. Resolutions end up broken within a few days.
New Year's Mantras.
New Year's Plan
New Year's Attempts at Bettering Myself
......
Last Year Sucked Major Ass, So Let's Try And Make This Year Better.
Yes, I like that one.
I think I'm depressed. I don't have much to go on, as I don't ever get depressed, or sad, or anything other than my two only emotions (Calm and Homicidal). But I think I'm depressed. Reasons? Probably a few of these are responsible:
1.) I'm fat. Like really. I can't stop eating. It's disgusting.
2.) Every time I speak aloud, Mum does her very best to make me feel retarded. She seems to especially enjoy doing this in front of other people.
3.) If I choose to remain silent to avoid reason number 2, Mum asks what the hell is wrong with me and why am I so pissy all the time.
4.) In trying to arrange a time to go visit the father, it became very clear to me just how much he does not want me around. A couple days ago, I asked what he was doing for New Year's Day, and he said that he and step-mom and little bros 1 and 2 were going to step-mom's parent's house for the day, so that was no good for daddy-and-me-Christmas-time. I found out later that my other sister was invited to step mom's parents' house.
I was not invited.
>:(
They can all LICK MY ASS.
Whores.
Ok..... moving on.
5.) Is this it, as far as life is concerned? I have a job and I'm probably never going to get anything that pays all that much more, and so I doubt that I will ever be able to afford grad school. I don't want a relationship with a significant other, so there's no boyfriend or wedding fantasies to look forward to. Sure I may move out of my mother's house at some point, but where would I go? Live ALONE? Or worse, live with OTHER PEOPLE?? And then what?
I'm sorry, gals. I'm just in one of those moods. Not suicidally depressed or anything. Just fatalistic, perhaps. Normally these thoughts only have a life span of 30 seconds before I can snap myself out of it, but for some reason they're persisting in making me feel like a waste of space. I take up way too much space.
And to make my day that much better, I was dragged into New York City today. Cousin is here from Ireland, and she wanted to see Ground Zero (why?!?), so I had to take her. Mum came with us at least, so I didn't have to drive or navigate my way around the Stink Hole, but still... I can think of many, many things I would rather do than go into New York City.
Eating glass, for example.
Or playing in traffic.
Or sticking sewing needles in my eyes.
It wasn't too horrendous, in the end. I got a lot of exercise by walking, purchased a gorgeous pair of shoes in the Irregular Choice shop (the ONE AND ONLY thing I wanted to do, but noooooo everyone had to make a big mf stink about it because they didn't want to go to some weird shoe shop, and isn't this kind of far from where we're eating, can't we go shop somewhere else?!? blah blah blah) ...Well I'm sorry arseholes. Next time I'll just keep my fat mouth shut and do whatever everyone else wants to do.
Shoes:
