I want you to set a fire so goddamn big, the gods'll notice us again, that's what I'm sayin'. I want all of you boys to be able to look me straight in the eye one more time and say: ARE WE HAVING FUN OR WHAT?!?

<3 Top Dollar. Michael Wincott is HOT.

Happy Devil's Night y'all!!


Check out the awesome cookies I made:

~40 cals each. I made 150 of them for Friend's Halloween party. 

And my hair is all prepped:

Sorry for the short manic post! More later, with full costume pics, and the recipe for those cookies, as well as the pumpkin soup recipe I made yesterday.
<3

Vanishing Acts...

96 pounds this morning. Funny how I seem to lose weight faster when I exercise less. Since I ran out of painkillers, I'm making a serious effort not to purchase more. I never use them for fun--only for working out, but that makes it incredibly difficult to go back to working out without substances. I need to ease up on the workouts anyway, because my already damaged left Achilles tendon does not like 2 hour workouts. I also don't want to build too much muscle. 

As much as I love Beth Phoenix, I don't really want muscles. It's just not my thing. That's why I've stopped all arm and tummy exercises. I just want solid, with no wobbly bits. I don't want muscle definition. 


I fit into children's clothing. As it turns out, I've actually fit into children's clothing for quite some time (just barely 5'1" and pretty tiny build...). I always knew I could squeeze into kids' shirts, but now I'm comfortable in a medium (age 8/10), and fit into Mudd trousers in girls size 10. I think they run kind of big, though, because I tried on a pair of girls' Levi's for comparison and could not squeeze my wobbly arse into the 12's. 'Tis awesome, though; because it opens whole new shopping possibilities.... Like yesterday, for example--I FINALLY found a pair of dark green cords, in the kids' section at Kohl's. :D


When will it be enough? What's the magic number that means I'm officially Thin? The lower the number on the scale gets, the more terrified I am of it climbing again. Last Christmas, for example, I was around 105 when the holidays started, and wasn't too fussed about climbing back to 110 (I needed a break, and I can't resist Christmas--it makes me high on life). Once I got up to 111, I panicked and started starving again. Now the thought of going back up to 100 makes me panic. I don't want to lose my hair or or grow fur or lapse into kidney failure. Will I be able to stop before I hit that point? And where is that point? It worries me somewhat, because it is in my nature to fixate and obsess and to push things as far as I possibly can (you should have seen my drug collection when I was 15...). If and when I hit the point of severe health problems, will I want to recover? Sorry to be a Negative Nancy. I'm just thinking aloud....


And with that in mind...
I know it is the nature of the blogging community that some bloggers just disappear or fade away, never to be heard from again. I've tried getting to know all of you through your blogs, and so I do notice when someone stops posting. These lovely ladies have not posted in about a month:
- Saphira
- Sunlit
- Ell
- Rose
- Sadhana (she did mention taking a blog break, but I still miss her...)
- Arexisaurus (she never posted that often while I was following her, but it's been 5 weeks...)
- Kitty
- Zen
- Marbleyes (where are you?!?! :*O)
- Analise
- Dreams.and.Bones
- Houseofmir[thin] (I know her parents found her blog--does anyone know if she has a new one?)
- Cherry
- Lullabyehaze
- Knockout
- Fleur (her blog has vanished :*o)
- Windusa
- Hollow (she's hasn't posted for AGES!!)
- Miss B (she's been AWOL even longer...)
- Lola Anais
- Nika Nikol
- Lydia Lightly
- Skeleton Strong


Thought you could vanish and no one would notice, ay? I hope y'all are doing well, and just got sick of blogging. :-* If anyone has any updates on these lovely gals, please comment!