Food addiction seems so much trashier than, say, heroin addiction.

I still don’t know what’s worse: the desperate, hungry, time-stretching starvation of not eating all day; or the horrible, bloated, greasy, fat feeling right after you’ve caved in and eaten something.

I’m having a harder time than usual going back to my old habits after a week-long binge while I was away on holiday. I’ve been exercising, but I have been eating way too much. But I’m just so HUNGRY!!! I brought a bag of veggies to work today (with a tablespoon of fat free dressing) to nibble on, but I swear it only makes me MORE hungry. I feel so weak and fat, like I should just give up and eat what I want and turn into a giant piggie, because I’m obviously too weak-willed to be thin.

It’s just like rehab, I guess. If I can get through like three days of properly starving, I know I can get back into a good rhythm. But the withdrawal still sucks.

So far today, I ate: 1 bowl cereal (150), coffee (10), veggies w/dressing (about 150).

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack........

I have just returned from a 6-day trip to the Dominican Republic. I ate like a fiend while I was there, so naturally I am now terrified to weigh myself. I don't need the scale to tell me that I look like a total fattie - I can see it just fine in the mirror.

I was going to start right back on the exercise and restriction, but some nasty tummy bug I caught on the plane put that on hold. I spent most of the day yesterday either vomiting or asleep. That might have made me feel a little less heavy, but since I hadn't eaten anything, there wasn't really anything to puke up.

So TODAY, I start over again. Major exercise, and as little food as I can eat without passing out. I will give myself 1 week before getting back on the scale - 7 days to shape up!! So far today, I ate 1 bowl of cereal (160) and skipped the coffee. Tomorrow, I try the low-to-no-carb thing again.