Buzzfeed recently published this list of horror movies that are apparently scary enough to make you shit your pants.
To celebrate this Halloween season, I shall be giving my honest horror-movie-scholar knowledge and opinion on every movie on this list. I have not seen all of them, but plan to watch 1 or 2 a day so I can review the entire list.
For our pilot episode, I shall give my opinion on the films that I've seen already.
1. House of 1,000 Corpses. This was Rob Zombie at his finest (followed by The Devil's Rejects). It is a masterpiece of classic horror and I love every minute of it.
However, it is not scary enough to actually scare you. If this movie actually makes you feel FEAR, you should not watch anything that might be remotely scary.
3. Hell House, LLC. Currently watching. Shows promise.
5. The Blair Witch Project. This "movie" was possibly THE WORST FILM EVER MADE EVER EVER EVER. Unless your biggest fear is dying of an epileptic seizure, or being bedridden because you're having a horrendous attack of Vertigo*, this movie IS NOT SCARY AT. ALL. It's a bunch of idiots wandering the woods at night and whining before they find an abandoned building and the film ends. That's it. That's the whole fucking movie.
8. Saw. This is a legitimately good and very original horror movie. And it definitely makes you anxious.
10. The Fourth Kind. I admit I only watched this because Milla Jovovich is in it. I am not easily scared or rattled by horror movies, but one thing that does scare me is aliens. I went into this movie thinking I'd be scared out of my wits, but I don't even remember much of the movie.
Alternate recommendation if you're terrified of aliens: Dark Skies, which came out in 2013.
11. The Grudge. Didn't scare the crap out of me exactly, but I'll allow it.
12. Silent Hill. One of the better films based off of a video game. The scary monsters are actually pretty terrifying. This is one I would recommend.
13. Coraline. HOLY SHIT that movie was creepy. The book was also creepy, but the movie really fecking NAILED IT making the scary bits really scary.
16. Candyman. Like House of 1,000 Corpses, this is just classic old school horror. I wasn't scared, but I thoroughly enjoyed this film.
17. Paranormal Activity. Not exactly terrifying, but it does have some really great jump scenes.
18. Fire In The Sky. HOLY HAND GRENADES TERRIFYING I DID NOT SLEEP FOR WEEEEEEEEKS
That is it for this episode. If you've seen any of the above movies, let me know what you think. And I'm also always open to horror movie recommendations.
* I did. Had to leave the theater being supported by two of my friends, and could not stand up for more than 20 seconds at a time for three days.
I've got Fire in the sky on the computer but still haven't seen it. After this, I think I'll give it a pass. I already have trouble sleeping, thankyaverymmuch.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I haven't seen a one of those. I avoid horror movies like the plague, which makes October tricky for watching TV...
ReplyDeleteNot a big horror movie, but I remember the "not remotely scary" comment being applied by me to Nightmare On Elm Street. Now, Zombies freak me out, and From Dusk Till Dawn about finished me on the genre.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch horror movies although I have seen Blair Witch and as you said not scary at all.
ReplyDeleteI have something wrong with me! Horror movies just don't scare me. Does that mean I'm a psychopath? Uh oh! Let's just keep it a secret, okay?
ReplyDeleteYou're fine. My friend and I got lots of stares and actually had people MOVE AWAY FROM US when we saw House of Wax in the cinema. Because we kept cackling like maniacs when we should have been hiding behind our hands in terror.
Delete