Friday, September 30, 2011

Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

...Does anyone know what happened to Mona? Her blog--Shaking/Waking (formerly She Smiles With Me)--is gone again. :(






Earlier this week, Boss and I discussing one of the many child custody battles with which we're dealing:

Me: "Who's she married to, again?"

Boss: "Some Chinaman."


Me: ....... "Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."



Boss: ......... "Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling."



That was probably the highlight of my week.


Guess who's not sleeping again?

-____-

It started out awesome, with the acupuncture. And then it slowly stopped working. After like 2 and a half weeks, I began taking longer and longer to fall asleep, waking up more and more during the night, and then beginning last week (or maybe halfway through the week before? it's tough to keep track of time when you don't sleep that much) I stopped sleeping altogether. So I'm back on the diphenhydramine. And the occasional Jameson or Bailey's nightcap to make it work faster.

Oh yeah, and the nightmares. SCREW YOU, BRAIN. WHHHYYYYYYYYYY must you torment me with blood-&-gore fests?? Epic warfare in the middle of the Armageddon? Dream-bingeing?? And let's not even talk about the people who keep showing up in my dreams, night after mother-effing night. I'M GOING TO STAB MY SUBCONSCIOUS WITH AN ICE PICK.


Food-wise, this week has also been a disaster. To steal a phrase from a friend, I have fallen off the recovery wagon and been run over by it.

ED roadkill. I have not eaten in 4 days, save for the occasional cup-a-soup (50 cals),
which takes me 2+ hours to consume; and sips of protein shake when I feel faint. (I'd say 5 days of no eating, but I had a handful of pretzels on Monday afternoon [140 cals]). And I've been exercising off more than what I'm consuming. Ephedrine is a miracle-worker.



FML.



But my size 0 work trousers are fitting a bit more loosely, so at least I can take comfort in that. I nearly sliced open my brachial artery when I came back from the shore and discovered I had to wear the size 2's to be comfortable. (Express's editor trousers are more true to size than their jeans...)


In more positive news, I finally finished typing and proofreading the 1st major edit of the 3rd book in my pirate/adventure series. The fairy book is still crawling along at .00000000000001 kph, but I am determined to finish it before Christmas. 

Oh, yeah--Christmas. That scares the holy hell out of me this year. None of our relatives are coming out from abroad this year. And Cousin Lisa--who always used to do every family and holiday related thing with us at our house--is still stuck in Florida trying to sell her house. Big Sis#2 always ditches Mum and me for Dad. We can't go home to Ireland like we always used to because now that Granny is dead, there's no home to go to. 

Mum's idea to go away somewhere and pretend Christmas isn't happening is starting to appeal to me. But then again, if my Christmas Spirit dies, I'm not sure what that's going to do to my psyche. I just want a house full of people for Christmas. :( 
......anyone out there in the NY/NJ area? Want to come for Christmas??


I feel like I'm fading away. Like a light, getting dimmer and dimmer until it finally goes out. 



When life gets you down, play dress-up.


TSIF!

31 comments:

  1. i just wanna fly away
    and ha ur bossi s nuts

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  2. You know, the good thing about not being able to sleep is I bet you have tons of time to get things done. On the other hand, it's probably hard to function like a normal person when you don't get enough sleep. You know, if you write down everything you dream about in novel form, I bet you could become a bestseller! I love to read about people's dreams- it gives an insight into their subconcious in some ways. I really need to get some of those soups you keep talking about! 50 cals for something that fills you up instantly?Yes please! Have an awesome weekend ♥

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  3. lol why is sonic flipping you off?

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  4. Omg, I love cuppa soups. We get loads and all different flavours. So yum and totally filling. :-) much love xxxx

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  5. i love your boss. and that picture WITH MEW IN THE CORNER!!!

    (IKNOWYOUTHOUGHTICOULDN'TSEEHIMBUTIDIDSOHA!)

    mew is epic. :3 and christmas can be a real pain when family's involved. it's like, first you barely get through thanksgiving. then they attack while you're still recovering a month later. *sigh*

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  6. Looks like Sonic doesn't understand the rules of Oregon Trail very well...

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  7. i want a boss like yours! :)
    oh no! insomnia sucks :/ mine's stress-fueled at the moment, and i'm not going to the gym because i'm so bloody tired all the time from not sleeping enough, which of course increases the stress level, which increases insomnia, which increases exhaustion, hence no gym... it's a vicious cycle!
    i hope the sleeping pills help though! Does the nightcap actually work? A used to feed me whisky to fall asleep when he was still around (I don't actually remember if it worked or not), perhaps I should invest in some, lol.
    also: love the roadkill drawing!

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  8. I love it when you quote The Big Lebowski! I'm sorry life is so shite. I honestly hope it improves soon.

    "I feel like I'm fading away. Like a light, getting dimmer and dimmer until it finally goes out." I couldn't agree more. I'm there too.

    Thinking of you and love you lots. :)

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  9. Sorry about the recovery wagon. Sucks, doesn't it? The whole pattern is crazy. And sorry about the lack of sleep. I actually know what that's like now. I hardly sleep anymore. When I do I wake up in the middle of the night. I hate it, and I don't see how you've been dealing with it for years. Hell. Aren't you exhausted all of the time? haha. I'm so sorry Mich.

    Good G-d. You're tiny. Size 0? What would I give? haha. I'm size 5. I feel huge.

    I can't wait until I get to order Underwood! I look forward to it, and a serious congrats to your writing. I wish I was a better writer.

    I'm so glad to get to read your posts again. :3

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  10. Awww hun I'm sorry you've been having a hard time :/ I can't imagine not sleeping, that'd be terrible :(
    Have you considered going to a therapist if you wanted to recover? Maybe that isn't what you want, idk. I know I certianly don't want to but I'm thinking I'm probably going to. It may work, you never know.

    2 is still tiny, I'm about a 0 or 2 at express.

    Glad to read your post. I've been meaning to comment on previos posts but I kept forgetting :/

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  11. SONIC IS SUCH A COCKY BASTARD.

    Also, I'm under the impression (don't know from experience since I don't celebrate them) that holidays don't have to be huge to be meaningful or even epic in terms of memorable quality.

    Maybe you can plan something deeply meaningful without needing a cast of thousands?

    Think indie film, instead of charlton heston?

    Lastly, <3

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  12. It looks like you have a great boss! Aaaand if you have trouble sleeping, just take a benadryl or two. You will sleep like a freaking baby. Trust me.

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  13. NO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT LOSING!! O.o wah, I wish I could come celebrate with you! T.T sadly, I live in Illinois and even if I had access to my money, am not old enough to buy a plane ticket.. But, be marry anyway! I've got no idea what's happening for my Christmas either, my mother has decided all our family is against us and will probably insist we spend it 'as a family' like she did with last thanksgiving, which means, her, dad, me, brother. But damnit I'm making a pumpkin pie and eating at least half of it anyway! I hope everything works out for you.

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  14. Your blog always makes me smile. :]
    I hope things get better with your sleeping and Christmas spirit. It's never nice to lose either of those. D:
    Cheer up, please, here's a penguin: http://cache2.artprintimages.com/p/LRG/8/848/62UY000Z/art-print/makiko-little-penguin.jpg
    Dressing up and penguins make things better. ^-^

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  15. Wish I could go out there. i hate retail, I'll probably get drafted into working! They shouldn't be able to make me work.. it interferes with my religious practices. Make me miss church!
    But how do you prove that's legit and not just saying it to get out of working?
    Sad me.

    if you wanna see how the other half lives you can always come check out my humble cabin! With wonky plumbing and no spare bedrooms and 6 cats and drafty windows! No idea where you'd sleep tho. A closet shelf?

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  16. It's kinda nice (though sad, at the same time) to find someone that has the same sleeping problems like me. And I've given it up. I tried everything and nothing helped. So I just wait for the morning in my bed and, if I'm lucky enough, I get my 5 hour beauty sleep. :D

    Interesting blog; following! :)

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  17. Ahh, you're amazing!
    You're boss sounds cool, despite the racist-ness. :P
    I sleep so well now. I love meds. And yeah, a drink to help speed them up can be quite useful.
    <3

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  18. Your boss sounds like a trip lol
    I wish I had more of a problem sleeping, well I do have a problem sleeping-I love it way too much! I get so bitchy if I don't get enough.

    That exciting your size zero's are getting loose, but be careful hun<3 try eating maybe just a tad more?:/

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  19. Ah, good old insomnia. I've been unbearably restless with career anxiety lately, and combined with catsitting binge mania, I've been up until 4-5 am except for last night's Benadryl-induced hibernation. I can't even fathom the level you deal with continuously. You haven't mentioned the boy in a while, is that still going on?

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  20. that is one sexy dress! x x x x x

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  21. An interesting post! And bowling (with a russian boss, I assume) sounds awesome. To help you sleep better, you want to get as much sunlight during the day, and the least sunlight in the evening and night. No tv before bed, no computer, no phone, no lamps. When you're in sunlight, melatonin is being produced by your body, melatonin tells your body to keep you awake and not prepare for shut down. When you're in a very very dim/dark place, melatonin is not being produced, so your body doesn't get the que to keep going, and so it begins shutting down, sort of like solar power. I have a post on that if you want to read up on it :). #14 I think.

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  22. If I had a dress like that, I wouldn't mind being a hermit all that much. I could walk around the house pretending to myself that I am, in fact, a Disney-esque fairy princess.

    <3

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  23. ello :) im back! trying to at the moment catch up on everyones blogs!!! finally have done with you! Looking lovely :) xx

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  24. Your boss sounds awesome. Do you really call each other "dude", or were you just pretending that you work for "The Dude"? ha ha.

    The last time I heard someone say "Chinaman" they were talking about Long Duck Dong. lol. "Dong" ::clap clap:: "Where is my automobile?"
    "Automobeeeele?"

    Anyway, I hope you have a house full of lovely people for Christmas...but thanking Satan for Fridays might jinx that? lol. Not that I mind.

    Congrats on the pirate book progress! Keep plugging away at those pesky fairies.

    And good luck with your recovery. Maybe this week will be better.

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  25. You want a summer Christmas? Dad does lamb's fry and bacon and venison saussies on the BBQ for breakfast, and the children make noise and everyone gets too pissed to notice if you eat or not XD

    I've got no wonderful words of cheering-up-ness. With recovery, I guess sometimes shit happens, and you have to stand up again and keep going. I'm told shit gets better eventually, but I've spent too long stationary to know first-hand.

    Sending sleepy thoughts <3

    Love you <3

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  26. Loose size 0s? Goodness gracious, woman, that's amazing. Oh, and somehow, when I read this on Friday, I totally missed the AWEOME picture of you in that Marie Antoinette-esque frock. Well played, mademoiselle.

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  27. Holy shit, that dress is gorgeous! And you are a tiny, bittty little faerie!

    Love your drawing!

    Can i come to you place for Christmas????

    xoxo,
    tracy

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  28. I will utterly deny this if the combo proves less than beneficial to you, but I sometimes take a combination of 25mg diphenhydramine and a 3mg melatonin. It's not a knockout pill, but it does produce a nice hazy sort of mind that lends itself to prolonged sleep.

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  29. I hate Christmas....so depressing. And horray for size zero. Wish I could be like you!! :)

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  30. you should come over to germany on christmas.
    A big bunch of my italian family which lives in germany is always meeting at someones house and then eating from stuff everyone brought and staying together all night. And eating is really not the most entertaining thing at our christmas party and nobody cares how much you eat or if you eat on the sofa or whatever.
    does this sound good? :D

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  31. aaaaaand I forgot to mention youre absolutely beatuful and adorable in this awesome dress.

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We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.