Thursday, November 19, 2015

I'm Going to Complain Now, Episode 65

I'm sure this may come as a shock, but I'm going to complain now. 

I guess this is sort of a continuation of that post I did about my weird pet peeves.

Know what I really really hate, like more than anything else that involves driving?

Supermarket parking lots.

People misbehaving in the grocery store is bad enough, but I think all of mankind's worst attributes come out in the grocery store parking lot.

1. People taking up three parking spaces because they're too lazy to back up and straighten themselves out.

2. People leaving shopping carts in the middle of parking spaces instead of taking the extra 20 seconds to bring it back to the shopping cart return thingy.

3. People letting their shopping carts run away and crash into other people's cars.

4. People not stopping and looking before flooring it out of their parking spaces.

5. Other people getting pissed off and honking their horns when you're very slowly and carefully backing out of your space because there are cars beside you and you have not yet acquired the ability to see through solid objects.

6. People on foot darting out from behind parked cars without looking, and then giving you dirty looks when you have to slam on your brakes to avoid hitting them.

7. Seagulls. The ocean is very far away. Where did you come from? Why are you here? And why do you all hate me?

There are certain supermarkets I at which I will not shop because I really hate their parking lots. Unlike most Americans, I will not circle the parking lot searching for the space closest to the door, and I will not stalk people who look like they are about to leave so that I can park closer to the door.

I park as far away from other cars and people as possible.

So that was my lunch break. Now on to more things that I hate:

People who never shut up.

You might be a really nice person. You might be an awesome person to hang out with.


If you're the sort of person who cannot handle silence and/or has no inner monologue and so must speak every single thought in your head out loud, we can't be friends. I'm sorry, that's just the way it has to be.

In an unfortunate twist of fate (or perhaps God just trying to see how far he can push my patience and anger management) there are two people in my life who just cannot shut up, and they are people from whom I cannot escape: Bosslady, and my mother.

There have been times where I thought there was someone else in the house, or someone else in the office because Bosslady and Mumsy were talking as though having a conversation with another person. I know it's not their fault; it's just their personalities. But the longer they keep talking, the more annoyed I get. The result of this is that when I reach my breaking point, I sound mad without meaning to when I talk to them, which leads to confusion (and in the case of Mumsy, fights for no reason). And then I feel bad afterwards.

I don't know which of the two of them is worse. Mumsy tends to fly off the handle even when I don't think I sound pissed off, and then she throws a tantrum.

Bosslady, on top of never shutting up, has that particular Yankee accent where almost every sentence she speaks sounds like a question, and a lot of the time she has a very condescending tone that I don't think is intentional. And both of them tend to repeat themselves over and over and over and over and over and over to a ridiculous degree, and that's another thing that annoys me.

It took me years to figure out why I spend so much time feeling really angry for no apparent reason. Praise the Lord for Zoloft.

How are all y'all doing?


  1. Lovely Mich, You always know exactly the right things to say! :) Love the seagull drawings...I can't stand them either...and they know it! I think I am an offensive talker....judged from my latest stay in "The Home for the Bewildered"...probably because I spend my days with the pup and tv.....

  2. Ha!
    Thank you for making me laugh today
    I really needed that

    I go to the supermarket every Friday
    And am always amazed at the lengths people go to , to try and park as close to the door as possible
    People kill themselves so they won't have to walk twenty extra metres

    I always park away from other cars too
    As I have two dogs in my back seat who go beserk if someone dares come near their car x

  3. Don't get me started on anything Supermarket! On place we shop at down at the shore you have to put a quarter in to take a cart. When you return the cart the designated area and push it into the correct thingy, you get your quarter back. I have yet to see anyone not return their cart to the proper place.

  4. 1- Your supermarket lot analysis is spot on.
    2- I would likely be on the verge of driving you nuts... until the food arrives. I tend to completely withdraw when the plate lands.
    3- Does Mom then push your buttons until you throw a tantrum, then say, "Why are you yelling? I'M not yelling?" If so, your mom is my dad.

  5. Oh heck yes! I park as far away from the "cluster" as possible. This, so I won't get anxiety while looking for a parking space. People that leave baskets in empty parking spaces because they are too lazy to walk a few feet, sometimes inches to the basket caddy, make me so angry too! Seriously. -Great post!

  6. I think this supermarket stuff must be an American thing. I rarely run into a bad experience in a supermarket parking lot. I do have experience with people who never shut up though. I don't mind people who talk but sometimes you just want to stop and think. They don't let you.

  7. I agree totally. I haven't actually been inside the grocery store since September because I'm doing the thing where you shop online, then drive over and they put it in your trunk for you. But today I have to run in to get one thing, so it'll be a bit of a culture shock.

  8. Well, I WAS going to the grocery store, but now I'm terrified that seagulls may be there.
    Maybe I'll just talk to myself.

    1. Al, you are so funny! Love you! :)

  9. Ha! This....just....THIS. I'm dying laughing!!! (and I seriously needed that) Pretty sure I drop more f-bombs in supermarket parking lots than anywhere else.

  10. I'm with you - I park in the far back away from anyone and everyone. Haven't had a dent or a scratch in years, so it must be working (knock on wood). Last time I was in the Wal-Mart parking lot I saw a road rage fight being broken up by a police officer. That did not particularly surprise me.

  11. LMFAO... well, i sometimes get in the same mood, when it comes to people. But when I'm usually in good spirits, I like me some chatter boxes and when I'm dating someone, i always hope she rambles my ear off. I tend to be on the quiet side but the ramblers make me talk more and well, you get the idea.

    As for parking lots at the super market, that is one of the reasons I do online grocery shopping instead.

  12. What is this thing called online grocery shopping? ? And why doesn't it exist in my area? I'm gonna go pout. I hate grocery shopping unless it's at 3 am or something.
    I do love your drawings. Alas for my laptop not having any of the programs I thought were basic necessities like Paint or Word. I don't have them. Pout!

  13. One of the reasons I don't have a car is so I won't have to park it. This is also why the boyfriend and I go grocery shopping at nine pm.

  14. Oh. You missed one. You know, the one where you park in the farthest reaches of the lot, and when you come out, there's someone parked right across or next to you? What, do they think our cars have a nice little chat while we're shopping? It buuuuugs......

  15. I love your new Christmas décor! Especially the kitties destroying the tree!

  16. Oh god yes yes YES to the parking lot drama.
    And yeah, those kinds of people suck because a) they are waiting for you to pause so they can speak again (in lieu of listening) and b) they think they need to keep talking all the time to create less "awkwardness." So annoying.


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.