Friday, November 30, 2012

and rigor mortis to start that head cold


Mum was on the phone last night with her filthy rich friend and started talking about me because I was writing instead of dutifully watching Law & Order SVU. (and she also doesn't understand how I can write, eat dinner, and watch television at the same time so she likes to tell other people about my strange habits and thus have someone else to confirm that yes Mich is a bit strange and no, don't worry it isn't you Mummy).

My mother also has this odd habit of giving people completely inaccurate information about her children even when she knows the information is false. Like that time a few years ago when she said to Granny, "Mich wears white face paint instead of makeup."

No, Mumsy; I have not worn white face makeup since I was goth. Ten years ago. I am actually this pale.
...and have achieved my lifelong goal of having my skin the same colour as my hair.  
Or to her friends a year ago, "Mich was too hungover to cook Christmas dinner, so I had to do everything."

ummm what

NO, I was violently ill because I ate too much Italian food (I'm assuming that was the cause, which in fairness was my own fault because I know I can't eat that) and yet I STILL managed to drag myself off the living room floor and away from the Christmas Story marathon to disembowel the goose and use its innards for the stuffing. Mum peeled the potatoes before going back to bed.

Anyway I could go on and on and on about this, but I'm sure none of you want to hear it, so I'll get back to last night.

I feel like a whiny little brat complaining about this.

But

I have few accomplishments in life, and few skills and talents about which to brag. I do not have the epic brainpower of Big Sis#1 and Lil Bro #2. I do not have the supernatural musical abilities of Lil Bro #1. I do not have smart and talented children to show off to friends and family. I can write stuff fairly well. That's it.

Mum knows exactly how many books I've written because she has read them all, and she has bragged about it to others. But for some reason whilst talking to her rich friend, she decided to slice a few novels off the top.

"Mich has written 2 books."

>:(

I guess maybe she feels like she has no business bragging to rich friend because rich friend's daughter is the super-genius wonderchild who managed to get two bachelors degrees in 3 years?

Mich has written SEVEN books and one novella. 

Seven.

That's 2 + 5.
( = 7.)

Yes, I know, I'm a whiny little brat. But I can't help that it bothers me. Like when Mum claims not to know that I hate cheese, or that I am left-handed. I will allow Dad these things because he has five children to remember and when you're the third daughter born before the first son, you should count yourself lucky you weren't left in a basket on the mountainside to die.


I was totally going somewhere with this post and veered way off into another direction.....

DEE has pneumonia. Shedding tears emoticon (Sad Emoticons) My ability to function has dropped by about 80%.

17 comments:

  1. LOLOLOLOLOL @ baby Mich in the basket.

    You're not a whiny brat. Those things piss off everyone, you're just not afraid to admit it.

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  2. Tell your mom to... well, no, that's not nice to tell your mom. However, your skin tone is lovely. As I recall, women used to do hideous things to themselves to get that sort of skin tone in the olden days - arsenic peels or something. If you have it naturally, you're blessed.

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  3. DEE is sick?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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  4. You're so beautiful in this photo Mich and I love this post haha. It's a bit annoying that your mum played down your awesome writing skills but I guess that's what mothers are like sometimes, great post Mich.

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  5. You have awesome pendants and kick ass pale skin so screw the haters I say. I can understand why you'd be annoyed about her saying things that aren't true about you, especially when she actually DOWNPLAYS your achievements. You should beat her with all seven of your books.

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  6. You're not being whiny; and, that sort of stuff gets on most people's nerves. You're just awesome though. I hope you feel better.

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  7. You are right to be pissed about your abilities being downplayed. Why shouldn't you get bragging rights? Writing is hard! And you've done 7! You keep publishing and I'll keep pimping you out!

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  8. That is something completely legitimate to become enraged about.

    SEVEN. S-E-V-E-N. WHITU. NANA. SEVEN.

    I'm going to have a small rage on your behalf now.

    SEVEN BOOKS IS FUCKING EPIC. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT?!?

    Take care up there in the frozen north <3

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  9. Hey I like the great picture of yourself! You're a very gorgeous woman! Oh hey, and there's words in this post too! (I didn't notice them at first!) My mom does stuff like that too, I use to think it was a woman thing, but I guess it must just be a mom thing. Hey I'm left handed too! Yay leftys!! (do you have any pictures of you as a goth? I'd like to see them!) Writing seven books is not only better then two bachelor degrees, its better then ten!! Before I forget I want to say, I feel bad for you, you're family and family friends seem to be such high flyers that it seems to "Dwarf" your acomplishments, but having met many people where I live and many people through out the internet (and heard them talk of the people they know) I must say, you've acomplished a lot and are very tallented and interesting! You're quite the success!! It just might not seem that way to you cause of the people around you with their kids and their wealth and their peices of paper that say they're smart! I hope you don't let that get you down, cause you're an awesome woman and should be very proud of all your acomplishments!!

    I'm glad I (internet) know you!

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  10. Mich, you are sooooo beautiful, along with everything else you have going for you! You are most definately a winner in anyone's book! Hee, geddit? i didn't until i wrote it.....

    The picture of poor little baby Mich in the basket is sooo sad... :( That's what my mum should have done with me. Saved everyone alot of trouble!

    So sorry your mum can't see what's in front of her face....DUH.

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  11. Ughhhhhhhhhh your mom. It's fun, isn't it? All the little things they do that make us want to smother them in their sleep with their own hair.

    Like the other morning, I was getting dressed and my dress broke a strap (I wear sundresses over long sleeve shirts in the fall/winter) and so I asked her for a jump ring. You know. The kind that is a piece of metal in a circle with a gap between the two edges which you open as far as you need and then close it so the edges touch...right? That's what you think of when you hear the words "jump ring" right?

    So she rummages around and first tells me she doesn't have any. Then tells me she has a gold one. Then I look to see what's taking so long, and the gold one is actually some weird kind of coil like a key ring and she's trying to force the strap into and around inside the coil...like...wtf, mom. I'm already late for work, wtf?

    I tell her that's NOT what I asked for and she goes, "well don't get mad! here!" and hands me a fucking jump ring EXACTLY like what I asked for, but only after I got mad and only after she wasted like 5 mins trying to force the strap into that other doodad.

    I wanted to scream and/or die in fire just to show how mad I was. lol

    It's not like in the grand scheme of things, it was a big deal. It doesn't change much. It's not altering my life course and derailing me into a pit of darkness and violent crime. But my god, is it infuriating!

    I'm ranting! I should stop! Coz this is a comment that is supposed to be sympathetic!

    Alright, so. Your book writing skills are awesome and fuck anyone who tries to tell you different. I will personally assault them with a potato peeler.
    xoxoxo

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  12. Aww, sweets. Your post made me sad. Many hugs from Indiana.

    And you're gorgeous. You have freakin awesome skin!

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  13. So so so so soooo pretty you are. :) I'm equally as pale as you, but my hair doesn't match. Hmmmm, maybe I should aim for that look now. lol But I still think you're gorgeous.

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  14. Us pale chicks have to stick together! Thanks for your kindness Mitch. You crack me up! Take care of yourself, and don't listen to your family all the time. If I did I would go insane!
    xoxo

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  15. Yay for the pale! I'm the same way. Always. Summer and winter, i'm white as a ghost (or your hair..either or). Don't let your moms words bother you too much. My mom doesn't think so highly of me either, but i've gotten to the point where i really couldn't give a crap. Accept yourself for who you are. I'm rather fond of the you i know. ;)

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  16. Do you watch Game of Thrones? You remind me SO MUCH of Daenerys. You look just like her. thats a huge compliment btw ;D

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  17. Hey, you might give me a run for my money in the Pastiest Legs Contest! No one has bested me in 27 years. I wouldn't mind being pale except I'm all red and blotchy too. :::jealous:::

    Sorry your mum is kind of dense. I can't quite imagine living with someone so, how shall I say, oblivious to facts? If it helps soothe the burn, there are at least 566 people who recognize your writing talent. And at least 16 who now know for sure that you have written 7 books and 1 novella, hate cheese, and are left-handed.

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We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.