Saturday, November 3, 2012

feck it all

I'm not going to start this with my usual apology about neglecting everyone's blogs because I have limited internet access and limited battery on my laptop.

::beginangryrant::

I vaguely remember them saying on the news last week that the East Coast was *totally prepared* for Hurricane Thor ("Sandy" is the weakest name I've ever heard and the people naming these things should be punched in the face). 

Let's talk about that for a sec.

That tree was dangling over my street until around 10.00 this morning. There was another one farther down the street. I live in a cul-de-sac with limited access to main roads. The only other way out has been completely blocked with more downed trees and power lines than anyone can count, and so far I have not seen ONE SINGLE tree removal truck, or one PSE&G crew anywhere near my neighborhood. 

In fact, I have not seen a single PSE&G crew anywhere in my town, or in the surrounding towns. None. At all. It's been five days. 

PSE&G CAN LICK MY ASS. 

Their website currently says they're not even focusing on restoring power to my town at all this weekend. 

My aunts and cousins said the tv programs over in England and Ireland have become relentless in their ridicule of the supposed *superpower* that is the United States, where we have somehow managed to restore power to Atlantic City (half of which isn't even there anymore), and yet something like 75% of Bergen County remains powerless. 

And petrol-less as well. 

I had no petrol until last night, when a friend siphoned half the petrol from his car into mine. It was that or wait up to four hours at a gas station, because most of the stations around here are either closed or completely out of petrol. The lines are MILES long. They started rationing it at most of the petrol stations, and as of today, they have initiated some kind of program where on odd dates you can only get petrol if the last number on your license plate is odd (I can get petrol today because mine ends in 5 and today is November 3rd; but I'm not because you can only get $20 worth of petrol, which is less fuel than I would use up waiting in line). 

My house is f**king freezing. 

FREEZING. 

We had a load of firewood, but I used it all up yesterday. This morning, I snuck next door and relieved my neighbours of all the firewood that was stacked up on their porch. (There wasn't much, and they've been dead for like a year, so I don't think they'll miss it.) Later, my friend is letting me take some of his firewood because he's got enough in his back yard to burn down a small city. 

On top of it all, I AM GETTING FAT. 

Like for reals, sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 

I haven't been to the gym in like 2+ weeks because of the combined forces of the Maine holiday, power outage, not having enough petrol to waste on the gym, being bored at home with no power and thus eating everything in the house, and eating out every day because we can't cook anything at home, and getting sick (oh yeah I think I'm actually legitimately sick, like in need of a doctor and a prescription [and y'all know I never admit that unless it's serious] but I'm not going because right now I don't care if I drop dead of pneumonia, and if I need to be hospitalized then I might lose all the weight I've put on). 

Excuse me while I have a coughing fit...

...........

...Alright I'm back. I have to sneak outside for coughing fits so Mum won't hear me because at this point I sound like a consumptive

If I have the consumption I'll probably never know about it because for some reason whenever they do that stupid test where they inject the bubble into your arm I ALWAYS test positive, which is a pain in the arse because it has led to numerous bouts of blood tests and chest x-rays etc etc etc over the years just so the docs can be absolutely sure I'm not a walking plague. 

Ugh.

Oh and Tuesday? If I don't have power I AM NOT VOTING. They can both go feck themselves as far as I'm concerned. 



I hope the rest of you on the eastern seaboard are faring better than I am. 

11 comments:

  1. Oh my god Mich, I've been thinking about you often, I heard N.J got the worst of it. I've been worried about you, and thinking the best thoughts for you! It sounds so awful. First off, don't even worry about the sweatpants thing, just please be more worried about your health! I really hope there's nothing seriously wrong. And I love the Walking Dead and everything, but I don't think most people realize that if there was a zombie apocoloypse, everyone would be freezing and not going anywhere, like you are right now, and it's not as glamours as Norman Reedus makes it look. I love you and will continue trying to send good karma your way!

    <3333

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry to hear that this has been affecting you so badly Mich. I really hoped that the hurricane would stay away from the people I cared about on here so to hear about your power problems is sad. I really, really hope that things sort themselves out soon and that you get heating back into your house because we're into a harsh Winter now and I can't imagine how horrible that would be. I'm with you on the political side of things too, what's the point when both of them are leaving good people to suffer the effects of this horrible hurricane. Don't worry about being fat either, I'm sure that you're fine and even if you aren't you'll be back to your normal awesome shape sooner rather than later!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was really hoping it wouldn't end up like Katrina, a lot of New Orleans is still a mess, and I'm sorry that you're in one of the places that's being really neglected :( When you get your power and heat back you should start hitting the gym. Or, when they get theirs back. If theirs comes back first you can expect a lot of people getting in shape.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My parents are also without their power in Warren County :( I really hope it is restored soon. Have you been able to leave at all? My mom said it's 55ish in their house. They have a generator, but are only running the fridge/well pump. I'm so sorry Mich... is there anything I can send you to make it easier?

    And as for feeling like and/or actually getting heavier, I am totally in the same boat. I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't go out in public. But next Saturday (the 10th), is my brother's wedding, and I'm in it and have to wear a dress and I'm completely freaked out. I plan to "behave" as well as possible so I can at least lose a pound or two for peace of mind by Saturday. Just saying, I know what you mean.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's just fucking RIDICULOUS!

    Fuck I wish I'd had my arse in gear and finished your blanket by now! I'm so so so sorry for being such a slack bastard.

    Is there anything I can do from down here?

    Shit I hope you can get to a doctor soon. Ride a bear over there?

    Cthulhu? I thought America was a Chucktatorship o.O

    Feeling useless just sending you love and e-hugs <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yikes! I so wish I could helicopter you some help! Or Apparate you some help. Floo network? This would be a great time for Harry Potter to be real. No need for petrol, and keep warm from fires in jars.
    Please don't worry about getting fat. It takes a lot of calories to stay warm in such freezing conditions. Especially since you're already sick.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, Mich, it must be horrible, in soooo many ways!!!!! Wish i could send you some heat, (wait, aren't you already "packing heat"?????) we got off really easy...knock wood.

    If it's any comfort, i have't been this fat in years...F*CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i hope you have alcohol available...or a way to get some....

    Sending love.....and eletricity!

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are awesome! Cat lovers rejoice! I agree with you, Sandy should be called either Satan or Thor. My prayers go out to you. My brother and sister are on the east coast, and they're lucky they were too far south. I am following you. Please follow me!

    http://afeatherabove.blogspot.com/

    Thanks ^_^ xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ughhh...hate hurricanes and I don't even know what it's like to deal with one.

    That Cthulhu/Kraken sex tidal wave 'pocalypse is just ruining your whole life right now. :(

    ReplyDelete
  10. Atlantic City, but not you? Hey, got to get those casinos up and running. They're a source of revenue. You? Not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I hope you're feeling better and have your power back by now!

    ReplyDelete

We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.