I'm not going to start this with my usual apology about neglecting everyone's blogs because I have limited internet access and limited battery on my laptop.
I vaguely remember them saying on the news last week that the East Coast was *totally prepared* for Hurricane Thor ("Sandy" is the weakest name I've ever heard and the people naming these things should be punched in the face).
Let's talk about that for a sec.
That tree was dangling over my street until around 10.00 this morning. There was another one farther down the street. I live in a cul-de-sac with limited access to main roads. The only other way out has been completely blocked with more downed trees and power lines than anyone can count, and so far I have not seen ONE SINGLE tree removal truck, or one PSE&G crew anywhere near my neighborhood.
In fact, I have not seen a single PSE&G crew anywhere in my town, or in the surrounding towns. None. At all. It's been five days.
PSE&G CAN LICK MY ASS.
Their website currently says they're not even focusing on restoring power to my town at all this weekend.
My aunts and cousins said the tv programs over in England and Ireland have become relentless in their ridicule of the supposed *superpower* that is the United States, where we have somehow managed to restore power to Atlantic City (half of which isn't even there anymore), and yet something like 75% of Bergen County remains powerless.
And petrol-less as well.
I had no petrol until last night, when a friend siphoned half the petrol from his car into mine. It was that or wait up to four hours at a gas station, because most of the stations around here are either closed or completely out of petrol. The lines are MILES long. They started rationing it at most of the petrol stations, and as of today, they have initiated some kind of program where on odd dates you can only get petrol if the last number on your license plate is odd (I can get petrol today because mine ends in 5 and today is November 3rd; but I'm not because you can only get $20 worth of petrol, which is less fuel than I would use up waiting in line).
My house is f**king freezing.
We had a load of firewood, but I used it all up yesterday. This morning, I snuck next door and relieved my neighbours of all the firewood that was stacked up on their porch. (There wasn't much, and they've been dead for like a year, so I don't think they'll miss it.) Later, my friend is letting me take some of his firewood because he's got enough in his back yard to burn down a small city.
On top of it all, I AM GETTING FAT.
Like for reals, sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
I haven't been to the gym in like 2+ weeks because of the combined forces of the Maine holiday, power outage, not having enough petrol to waste on the gym, being bored at home with no power and thus eating everything in the house, and eating out every day because we can't cook anything at home, and getting sick (oh yeah I think I'm actually legitimately sick, like in need of a doctor and a prescription [and y'all know I never admit that unless it's serious] but I'm not going because right now I don't care if I drop dead of pneumonia, and if I need to be hospitalized then I might lose all the weight I've put on).
Excuse me while I have a coughing fit...
...Alright I'm back. I have to sneak outside for coughing fits so Mum won't hear me because at this point I sound like a consumptive.
If I have the consumption I'll probably never know about it because for some reason whenever they do that stupid test where they inject the bubble into your arm I ALWAYS test positive, which is a pain in the arse because it has led to numerous bouts of blood tests and chest x-rays etc etc etc over the years just so the docs can be absolutely sure I'm not a walking plague.
Oh and Tuesday? If I don't have power I AM NOT VOTING. They can both go feck themselves as far as I'm concerned.
I hope the rest of you on the eastern seaboard are faring better than I am.