Sorry, no proper post today. Idk when I'll get round to proper posts again. Thanks everyone, for your massive amounts of support. ♥ I love you all very much.
I am not being Put Away.
I may be put on medication, but shrinkydink wants to see me a couple more times before she farms me out to a psychiatrist for pills.
Don't really know how I feel. I haven't consumed more than 400 calories a day since Sunday, June 10th, except on the weekend when I was force fed by Mumsy. And it's not in an attempt to lose weight--it's stress, and since I lost Callisto on Friday, it has gotten worse because there's no bingey-days to counter the starve-a-thon days. I cannot eat for pleasure, as I would during a binge. Eating my feelings just doesn't work right now.
I'm crying myself to sleep at night over my cat, but feel numb and hollow during the day. My writing is scattered and inconsistent. (Kind of like this post.) Bipolar Auntie and Cousin L are here, so that's helping keep me distracted when I'm home.
The next three days:
- Lil Sis's high school graduation tomorrow, which will be held outside in the blazing heat;
- Then dinner out afterwards with the fam;
- Lil Bro #2's high school graduation on Friday;
- Then dinner out with the other fam;
- Barbeque at home on Saturday, for Lil Sis's graduation, and Mum has invited everyone she knows. I'll be cooking on the barbeque. Not sure if I'm looking forward to the bbq or not, because I can't decide if I want to around lots of people so I can be distracted, or if I just want to be left alone;
- Second barbeque at a friend's house on Saturday night, if I can find the energy to go. He's a new-ish friend, though I've known him for years. He bartends at the restaurant Mum and I frequent, and I think Mum may be trying to st me up with him.
- Sunday, hopefully I'll get to see Prometheus, because I've wanted to go for 2 weeks and the only person who will go see it with me (M) has the worst work schedule ever.
I apologize for any prolonged absences from here. I need to get my head together. You can find me on Tumblr if y'all get desperate. ^_^