Wednesday, June 20, 2012

It's evil; don't touch it!

Sorry, no proper post today. Idk when I'll get round to proper posts again. Thanks everyone, for your massive amounts of support. ♥ I love you all very much. 


I am not being Put Away.


...Yet.


I may be put on medication, but shrinkydink wants to see me a couple more times before she farms me out to a psychiatrist for pills. 


Don't really know how I feel. I haven't consumed more than 400 calories a day since Sunday, June 10th, except on the weekend when I was force fed by Mumsy. And it's not in an attempt to lose weight--it's stress, and since I lost Callisto on Friday, it has gotten worse because there's no bingey-days to counter the starve-a-thon days. I cannot eat for pleasure, as I would during a binge. Eating my feelings just doesn't work right now.


I'm crying myself to sleep at night over my cat, but feel numb and hollow during the day. My writing is scattered and inconsistent. (Kind of like this post.) Bipolar Auntie and Cousin L are here, so that's helping keep me distracted when I'm home.


The next three days:
- Lil Sis's high school graduation tomorrow, which will be held outside in the blazing heat;
- Then dinner out afterwards with the fam;
- Lil Bro #2's high school graduation on Friday;
- Then dinner out with the other fam;
- Barbeque at home on Saturday, for Lil Sis's graduation, and Mum has invited everyone she knows. I'll be cooking on the barbeque. Not sure if I'm looking forward to the bbq or not, because I can't decide if I want to around lots of people so I can be distracted, or if I just want to be left alone;
- Second barbeque at a friend's house on Saturday night, if I can find the energy to go. He's a new-ish friend, though I've known him for years. He bartends at the restaurant Mum and I frequent, and I think Mum may be trying to st me up with him. 
LOL.
- Sunday, hopefully I'll get to see Prometheus, because I've wanted to go for 2 weeks and the only person who will go see it with me (M) has the worst work schedule ever. 


I apologize for any prolonged absences from here. I need to get my head together. You can find me on Tumblr if y'all get desperate. ^_^



11 comments:

  1. I'm pleased you went to see the shrink and that you're not being sent to the pyjama party. I'm sorry things are so awful now and that it's being made worse by all the family crap. I'm thinking of you and I hope you survive the next week. Let me know if you need anything. Love you lots. :) ♥♥♥

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  2. I understand that you've been going through a lot and we'll always be here for you Mich :) We love you too. I hope you eat something at at least one of the bbqs.

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  3. i hope things get better, let us know how the meetings go with the doctor if you can, we love you xxx

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  4. So glad to see you post dear Mich.

    i am sorry you are so sad...and wow, what alot of fam stuff...best of luck. i go back to Mum's next Wed. and am trying to brace myself for the socializing....grrrr.

    Glad your not headed to the "Pajama Party"...Love that term, Jeanne!

    Please be nice to you!

    Much Love and Care,
    tracy

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  5. Glad to hear your continuing to move forward in life. Hope it all works out and you enjoy all the barbeques you go to!

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  6. <3 you, glad that you let us all know what's going on. Life never stabilizes.

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  7. Please look after yourself. The hollowness passes in time, but it feels like hell until it does.

    Love you so very much *hugs*

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  8. Prometheus! OMG, so tempted to spoil it for you in the most hilarious fashion imaginable. BUT I WON'T.

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  9. At least it sounds like you have a good weekend planned, to keep you busy and distracted.

    Stupid, vapid drama in my life has prevented me from reading what was happening (after your poor kitty, RIP) until now - I am so glad that you're doing ok.

    Is there anything I can do, specifically? Knitwear? Mix cps? Muffins? I have limited skills, but they're honed!

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  10. do take good care of yourself, Mich? <3!

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