Friday, June 8, 2012

I am an honest man when I ain't lying.

I love how you can tell how bad a problem is by how your female Irish relatives feed you.

(I'm sure other nationalities can be like this as well, but I wasn't raised by other nationalities, so I wouldn't know.)

When you go crying to your mummy or granny or auntie with some terrible tale of woe, they will automatically try and fix your problem with something consumable. I do it as well now, and have come to realize that I was well trained in this art without ever realizing it.

You should always pay attention when you go crying to Irish ladies, because what they give you will tell you if your problem is really as bad as you think it is.

You would think that growing up in an environment in which all problems can be solved with food or drink, I would have fewer issues with food. Or maybe I should have more.


Don't ever do drugs, kids. At least not opiates.


At the risk of sounding like a D.A.R.E. officer, you only need to try it once before it can ruin your life. Since kicking the vitamins* back in March, I still find myself wanting them at some point every single day. I still find myself mentally justifying the use of vitamins*, and oft do I lament the fact that no matter how *great* it is to be drug-free, sometimes I would still rather be a zombie-slave to vitamins* than continue living every day without them.

Actually "sometimes" is an understatement. Like seriously, most of the time I would rather risk trashing my internal organs and eventually dying of an overdose than continuing to not do vitamins*. Does that make me a bad recovering drug addict? Or a stronger recovering drug addict, because despite all those feelings, I'm still not doing drugs? I don't know anymore.

Remember how my ex vitamin*-friend nemesis really screwed me over a while back? I got my revenge after all. >:) 
I happen to know a guy who knows a guy who knows the police chief in the town where she ended up getting arrested a few months ago (though she herself was not actually caught with drugs) and through this chain of connections, I fed the cops there a few choice pieces of information. Enough information that they transferred her case to the County as a criminal matter, and THAT B*TCH IS GOING TO JAIL. That's what happens when you screw me out of $350.00.

Told you I'm not kidding when I get mad.

Still blocked in the way of book-writing. I know why as well, but that only makes it harder.

In most cases, obsession makes amazing fuel for creativity. Obsessions with things and places and themes and whatnot lead to stories about said obsessions. Pretty much everything I've ever written is the result of some fixation or another.

But then sometimes you get obsessed with something or someone that cannot be easily turned into a novel through the usual creative processes.

My last obsession with a musician accidentally spawned what would become the Underwood series. But that was.... different. I was more fixated on Brian Molko's face than with the entire package of Placebo the band and their music and everything.

And then I just turned that face into a character that became a thing entirely separate from Brian Molko and thus I was cured of the obsession and ended up writing 3 books (+ about 1/4 of the 4th one, before I hit a wall).
the exquisite artwork of Elk

But I don't know how to do that this time.

No joke--I have not listened to any music other than 16 Horsepower and Wovenhand in over a month. And I have their music playing CONSTANTLY if I'm in the car, at work, or at home (like right now). I don't recall ever doing this with any other band or composer, ever. It's worse than the drug addiction. Like I CAN'T FUNCTION without them.

During the week I was in Colorado, I spent about half an hour every morning and between 90 minutes to two hours at night sneaking in time with my ipod. I tried not doing that the third night and I actually couldn't sleep, even doped up to high heaven on diphenhydramine.

Wtf is wrong with me.

I guess I'll just have to go with it. Because there's no fighting my obsessions. And I suppose I technically can't overdose on music, right?



  1. *Working in reverse*

    Who knows? This may spawn an entirely new series of work or put an unexpected twist into the tail if the old one.

    Ooooooh, nice revenge. I'm a little jealous of your slick work there.

    I'm so proud of you for not acting on your urges so far. Seriously. I've spent my life watching Mum try and fail repeatedly to give up the "softer-core" drugs, so I cannot imagine the sheer strength you have to stay the hell away from the harder and more seductive ones. (Ugh, I just got a mental image of opiates as a hardened, broken-down manchester street prozzie. Nasty)

    Sir yes sir, I'll stay away from opiates for fear of your axe-and-spade wielding rellies.

    That is a really good decoder. Unfortunately all my Irish-heritage rellies are dead so I cannot independently test it :( Here the universal reaction seems to be alcohol, no wonder we're a nation of binge drinkers!

    Take care and don't forget your sunblock (Your new header made me laugh so much! Don't come here in summer, we have no Ozone layer)


  2. You actually got someone sent to jail? I am not messing with you. Ever. Never. Placebo is a good obsession to have. Maybe not so much with vitamins. At least you aren't giving in, which is a very good thing :) I understanding writing from obsessions too. I started writing something inspired by a song, and I haven't written anything in a while in that book. It's kind of sad really. It'd be nice if I could churn out three books before I gave in.

  3. I'm so envious of how epic your revenge on that bitch was Mich, I plot revenge like that quite often but I never manage to follow it through which is a real shame. I'm sorry that you're still craving these vitamins so long after kicking them but what you're doing is definitely the right thing, don't doubt that for even a second, I'm proud of you for getting this far.

    I loved that first photo too even though my problems have never been bad enough to warrant a full meal although I've had the alcohol one haha, great post as usual Mich.

  4. Lol you are the punisher!

    Polish women are the same :[ I can't go to my grandma's house without her making me fry bed, veggie plattter, and being surrounded by bowls of chocolate candy. And then I go home with fry bread and/or loaf of bread as well as canned veggies, soup, and jams. And that's just when I'm visiting. I don't know what would happen if I was crying!

  5. Opiates are nothing to scoff at. The fact that you want them, but aren't taking them is a sign of strength, not to be downplayed or diminished.

    I bet the obsession with music ties in and dovetails quite nicely with your brain's attempt to self-soothe in the absence of drugs. Dopamine circuitry and whatnot.

    I feel like I want an irish granny now to clue me in to how fucked up shit is with food. I can never tell how bad anything is until a professional informs me. lol

  6. russians do the same thing. and ive never been a big fan of opiates, although opium itself was fun. haha. dude, this girl screwed me over too, but she get her shit in the end because everyone turned against her. :D

    stay lovely. <3

  7. You're a strong person to resist the vitamins*!! Everyone will be proud of you on here that you've come this far! And good for you for getting your sweet revenge ;) xxx

  8. Keep strong you're amazing beyond words. I agree with what was said earlier, maybe this addiction will lead to something greater than three novels, you just gotta keep yourself open.

    Good luck,

  9. Love your Food-Problem Chart....perfect!~

    Do not mess with Mich!!!

  10. Love your Food-Problem Chart....perfect!~

    Do not mess with Mich!!!

  11. Glad you got your vengence on this girl!


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.