Thursday, November 10, 2011

Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

So I was coming home from the Palisades Mall last night with Little Sis, and whilst driving down Route 304, just before hitting the town of Pearl River, I had an Epic Fail. 

There was a dead deer in the middle of the road. A BIG mf deer, with antlers. Since there were no streetlights and 'twas nighttime, I did not see the deer until it was directly in front of my car. And since it was taking up the entire lane and I was going around 45/50 mph, I had about 1/10th of a second to make a decision. None of the options for sudden swerving looked all that great:

So I went with trying to run over as little of the deer as possible. Let's just say that one of my phobias--the constant fear that I'm going to run a person over and not notice--is now cured. You're definitely going to notice. That was not a small bump. 

I drove a little farther to a spot where there was more room to pull over and assessed the damage. Since it was really dark, I couldn't tell how bad the car looked, but I could tell that I didn't have any flat tires, so Little Sis and I decided to continue a little ways down 304 and park in the KFC, where there was more light. 

At first, we thought there was lots and lots of blood dripping off the car, but I'm pretty sure it was actually transmission fluid, since it was red and not really the consistency of blood. The deer dented the underneath of the bumper and left some chunks of fur behind, but other than that I couldn't see any damage aside from the fact that the car was obviously leaking something essential. 

I tried driving it just to see if we could make it home, but about 30 seconds down the road, the Virus Pimp informed me that he was overheating. I love my car, and I didn't want to risk damaging him any further, so at Little Sis's suggestion we pulled into the next side street--where one of her friends lives--parked the car, and had her friend take us home. 

Now I'm just waiting for the car to get towed to the Sunoco station where our mechanic buddy can assess the damage, so I can see just how badly I'm about to be fecked money-wise. 

The only upside to this is that the anxiety has completely annihilated my appetite. Which is excellent, because it's epic-starve-a-thon from now until Thanksgiving. 


  1. The damn deer are everywhere! A guy from work just hit one and totaled his car! I'm glad you're ok...hopefully your car doesn't cost too much to fix! Xo

  2. Oh, sweet lord!!! I'm sorry to hear about your car. I really hope it doesn't cost the earth to fix. All this drama! Who needs it?!

    Hang in there, Babe! Thinking of you, as always. :)

  3. Oh wow...glad you're okay, though! Hope the car can be repaired with minimal monetary rape-age.

  4. My question to you is: why couldn't you hoist it up and strap it to the top of your car to take home and eat for the next week?! Free meat m'lady!

    But seriously, that does suck how much hitting something like that can damage a vehicle and I hope it doesn't cost you that much to fix. Mechanics can really eff us up when it comes to dishing out tons of cash because nowadays cars are essential.

    Oh yes, pre-Thanksgiving starve-a-thon...that's one wagon I'm going to have to hop on and quick because as the gods know, Thanksgiving in America can easily make you gain 5 lbs instantly.

  5. i hope it doesnt cost too much to fix your car, though, i'm glad you're ok :) xo.

  6. Ohmigod. That would scare the ever loving shit out of me! I'm from London, the most we get here is ridiculously loud fox sex outside our windows. That said, I agree with Amber, if that happened I'd HAVE to take it home to eat it. Or at the very least, hack off the antlers as a trophy.

    Thankfully us anorexic Brits don't have to deal with the Thanksgiving weight gain, but Christmas is looming on the horizon and it is a BIG fucking deal in our household. I'm despairing already about the amount of food I'll end up eating :(

    OH! Also, loving the Dude quote. You should check out Dudeism. It's a religion based around the teachings of The Dude!

  7. Wow, I hope this genuinely doesn't do you out of too much money, that would be horrible. Sorry to hear about what happened, car accidents suck!

  8. That moon looks quite concerned with your deer situation haha. Glad you're alright.

  9. So very scary, i am soooo glad that you are okay, you handled the situation very well!

    Great drawing, by the way!

    Let's be careful out there...


  10. Ah Jesus Mich, it's the luck of the Irish striking you again. This sounds like it could be expensive. Does your insurance cover such a thing? Deer season start here on Saturday and the hunters will be out getting drunk and accidently shooting each other. I'm glad you're back to blogging again pet. xxxx

  11. 1. I find roadkill absurdly disgusting. I'm squeamish and have to close my eyes whenever I pass it.
    2. Pre-Thanksgving Starve-A-Thon sounds perfect. *grumble* stuffingpotatoandpie *grumble*


  12. I wonder how many others ran into/over the dear!

  13. holy shit. I'm glad you're okay! If that was me I would have probably freaked, swerved, and ended up face first into a tree-dead. Hopefully your car isn't too badly damaged & not too costly. I ran over a piece of tire a transfer blew today & was worried about my car being messed up, but you hitting a deer topped that! kudos!

  14. Hope everything turns out all right. You should also think about telling a city woorker about the dear so that it doesn't continue to keep happening to other drivers.

    Glad you and your sister are alright.


  15. Ugh. Running over anything is not pleasant, but especially something so large. Best of luck on the repairs!

  16. Oh, Mich, i forgot to tell you...i have exactly the same fear!

  17. That is so lame about the already dead deer messing up your car!!! UGH. I hope it doesn't end up costing you too much :(

    Hopefully your anxiety levels will go down in the next few days as you come down off the trauma. I hate feeling super anxious all the time, which is often because of school. The only cure I have is to run.

    Anyway, most importantly, I am glad you are ok! I would be devastated if anything happened to our lovely Mich!

  18. shyeeeet!! you poor thing! :(

    i have the same fear. before i even started driving lessons i used to get nightmares about running people over all the time. one time i was sitting in a parked car when someone just walked into the bonnet and dropped down dead!

    awful. x x x

  19. I too used to worry about feeling that awful 'ba-dump, ba-dump' that goes with having crushed somebody's carcass with my car.

    The solution?

    I now drive a monster truck EVERYWHERE.

    Don't notice a thing.

  20. my friend hit a deer on the same day!! totally did major damage to her car :/ but sounds like you handled things pretty well. xo

  21. Oh gosh. I've never even seen a deer. Us British city folk probably only include pigeons and foxes as wildlife. ;)

    I hope your car isn't in too bad a shape. xxx

  22. My gods, I forget how unmanoeuvrable and sturdy cars are. You ok? I hope the poor we car is alright. Lol, you should keep your deer safe in farms like us. (They're in farms since they'd totally finish the raping of the bush that the Maori started (Clear-burning for Moa hunts. EPIC DRUMSTICKS!) and the Pakeha nearly finished. (Farming -.-))

    I do admit to cheering Dad on when he tries to take out rabbits. Possums aren't good to run over, the fuckers are nearly as indestructible as deer. You need a good solid .22 and good aim ^.^;

    Got some more songs for you! This should help with insomnia, if you can stand nearly toxic levels of cuteness:
    And this is just a giggle-fest:

    Love you, take care!


  23. im so scared of hitting nething
    i woul of freaked out too
    i hope that ur car is ok

  24. aw shit this happened to me in June, I'm sorry darling. On one hand, you know you did the right thing, on the other, it just fucking sucks in every way. Dead cute animal, expensive car shit (mine as totaled, I now have a bicycle) and just mixed up feelings (for me at least) of regret and anxiety. Best of luck, because this kind of crap will make you believe in luck for sure.


  25. Egads, woman. That blows bigtime. I've never actually hit a deer, but did drive through one's huge blood puddle once in the mountains. Gore is a bitch to hose off once its dried. Good luck. I hope the damage isn't too bad.

  26. I'm surprised at how many people want to read the nanocrap. Lol, I'll throw it up in another blog just for you. Ugh it will be appalling but her, nano is about quantity, right?

    Be warned: It's pretty fucking awful.

    Hope you're having fun in USA land and the car is back in full health <3

  27. Miss you , Mich....sniff.

    Hope you are okay.


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.