Friday, November 18, 2011

Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre!

Apparently I was heinously bloated because after I took the diuretics (and I didn't take more than the recommended dose--go me!) I felt SO MUCH BETTER. Less sluggish and swollen. And I have magically dropped down to 105 lbs, which is 1 lb away from my goal for Thanksgiving. I really just want to get back down to a "safe" weight by Christmas so that when I gain a ton of weight over Christmas (which I am wont to do) I won't flip out as badly.

Are any of you lovelies in the NY/NJ area with nothing to do for Christmas? I've been collecting holiday orphans so that we might have a nice big family Christmas. At the mo' we've got a family friend and one of Little Sis' friends coming for Christmas dinner, and one possible acquaintance whose family is all out in California and she can't afford to fly there.

I am totally serious, by the way. Of course you'd have to be evaluated and ruled out as a serial killer first, but as I am cooking the entire thing, Mum has told me I'm allowed to invite whomsoever I choose. I'm selecting a live turkey myself and it shall be cooked the day after it's killed, so you know it will be DELICIOUS.

 In other news....

Still waiting on my car. I have so far left three messages with Valley Body & Fender and have yet to receive a call back as to when the Virus Pimp might be ready. I kind of want to know in advance so that I can empty all of my bank accounts.
...Scratch that--just got someone on the phone and it looks like the Virus Pimp will not be ready until after Thanksgiving.

I ran into one of the kids I used to babysit the other day. I was their nanny for like 2 years while I was in college--a boy and a girl who were 10 and 7 when I started. Now they're 16 and 13.  o.O The girl is still more or less the same, except now taller than I am (which isn't difficult, really). The boy, however, is nothing like the awkward potbellied know-it-all that he was 6 years ago. He's actually not even so much a boy anymore. He's sporting a dustache and everything. Which is friggin WEIRD.

 All in all, they've turned out pretty well, and I hope that some of that was my doing. I was glad that they were with their dad yesterday (even though he always creeped me out quite a bit...) rather than their mom. I'm pretty sure she still thinks I'm a deranged neo-nazi.

...I should probably explain that.

I taught those two children how to play pretend.

Can you believe that? They actually didn't know what that was. And they're not the only ones. SO MANY children have no idea how to use their imaginations and just make sh*t up as they go along. It's sad. The boy and girl I babysat had no idea--all they did was play video games or watch TV, unless I forced them to play a board game or go outside. I tried to get them to play outside as much as possible, but they would always fight back with the same "there's nothing to DO."

And then it dawned on me one day--they never play pretend.

Idk about the rest of you, but when I was little, that's all we did. Sure we played some Mortal Kombat on the Megadrive, or Super Mario on Nintendo NES, and we all stopped everything at 4.00 to go watch Batman, but mostly we were told by our parents and nannies to get the eff outside and play until dinnertime.

We played cowboys & Indians; we played X-Men (I was always Storm :D); we played the A-Team (I was always Murdock); we played random weird games with dragons and adventures and castles made of the swingset, or we went to war with the treehouse as home base and wielded swords (usually tree branches) and rifles (Nerf guns). It was good craic.

I tried explaining this to the boy and girl, and they were flabbergasted. You would have thought from their reactions that I had just told them they had inherited the entire Hershey factory.

The boy (10 at that time) wanted to play War. He was a pretty smart kid and was going through a World War II phase; so specifically, he wanted to play World War II. He went about setting up trenches in the living room using the big couch cushions, proudly declaring, "I get to be England, because the Allies win." he made his little sister be Russia or France or something. And guess who Mich had to be?

We were hiding behind our pillow-trenches and hurling bombs at each other (stuffed animals) when their mother came home.

Did I mention that they're Jewish?


That was kind of an awkward moment... Their mom was all like, "oh that's nice.....," but she sounded slightly alarmed. 

I am sooooo bored. Boss has been in Court all day and there is feckall to do. Except for filing, which doesn't count because I don't want to do it. 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! <3


  1. So weird when you don't see kids for a while and then all of a sudden they've hit puberty...

    Babysitting story was hilarious. I would have died!! XD

  2. Ha, ha, ha.....this is were a Jewish family! Oh, dear, too funny, i mean, what are the chances that Mom would walk in at just the right moment?! That's great that you taught them to "play"...i can honestly see the stuffed animal granades a flyin'! Those kids were so lucky to have you!

    So happy for you and the weight loss....lucky!

    My weight gain is just plain FAT...brought on by you know what...although i am going to give my diuretics a shot, just on the off chance!

    Wish i could join you for Christmas!

  3. 'Cause if i could come, i could steal great lines, such as "That is like an Angel, crying on your tongue."

  4. Holy crap, I didn't even consider that kids don't know what imagination is any more. I mean, I'm sure some do, but wow video games really mess people up. That's going to have major long term ramifications when it comes to creating, inventing, IMAGINING, the future and future technologies. That's crazy. Good job teaching them something so valuable!

  5. Seriously, I bet you made an awesome nanny ^_^
    It's sad to think kids don't use their imagination any more, I remember using cardboard boxes to pretend to be Optimus ^_^

  6. I love when your post legitimately make me laugh out loud. That last cartoon was the highlight of my day. Hands down. :)

  7. lol
    In Mexico, kids play the drug cartels war.

  8. Children are so unimaginative these days! Back in my day (a whopping fifteen years ago), our au pair refused to do anything but. No television, no video games... we spent our days making magic potions out of mushrooms and our nights running about playing bloody murder. How things have changed. I adore your illustrations, as usual. xx

  9. Omg as if they'd never played like that before! We used to play lord of the rings, robin hood, Harry potter, weddings (I was the vicar for some reason :S) and this epic war game that involved about 12 of us and was little people vs bigger people - from age about 5-10 (8 littles, 4 bigs) with swords, shields, bows and arrows, you name it! It was so fun :) we even made magic potions!
    Haha that sounds seriously awkward when the mum walked in, especially with them being Jewish, but hey, the boy chose the game! :P
    Lottie x

  10. Eh, could've been worse: I don't see a Sharpie Hitler 'stache.

    I see through you, you know. You're gathering stray people for the holidays and you profess your abundant love for meat on a regular basis. Who's the serial killer?

  11. Poor German Mich! lol. You know what would be a great idea? Animated shorts. Can you do 3-to-5 minute webisodes of Mich clobbering that turkey, or getting bombarded by stuffed bears? Or riding magical sparkle ponies? I would totally watch those.

    I used to love playing make-believe, and I can't imagine how anyone wouldn't know how to use their imaginations. Okay, so not everyone is as creative as we are. (And by 'we', I mean 'you') but you're not being graded on it. Just take the lid off one of those push-door trash cans, put it on your head, walk around in winter boots and declare yourself an astronaut. Sheesh.

    Stephanie March...definitely. I'm just going by the pics you post though. I've never seen ANY of the Law & Order shows. Or CSI. I can't explain why there aren't more random dudes in commercials. But that Mike Rowe guy is everywhere...and who the eff is he? Was he on Law & Order?

    Anyway...I'm about to finish my short story, and after the holidays I'll get back to the novel. Your mom is very cool to let anyone you want over for Xmas dinner. I hope a hundred of your closest (non-serial killer) friends show up! :D

  12. I send prayers of thanks to the Gods that you were there to save two children from an imagination-less life!

    Hmmmmm, I sumbit the hypothesis that one of the root causes of the ailments that beset humanity as a whole is the slow death of collective imagination.

    *Rattles bars of cage* I WANNA COME TO YOUR CHRISTMAS! I'd even attempt to bake a pav and everything. Although a snowy cold christmas must be hella weird. No beers in the sunshine? Wtf do you guys DO with yourselves?

    Best of luck with the car!

    Love <3

  13. Oop, awkward! Oh well, the mom probably understands that kids will be kids... the whole being Jewish thing is extra cringe for that situation though.

  14. Oh wow that last cartoon is sooo perfect! Everyone's facial expressions are just perfect!
    Waaa I wanna come! Sucks living so far away. So does working retail. *joins my cage-rattling w Peri's*
    Wooot congrats on weight drop!

  15. That's such a great story about the babysitting. It must be so weird to see them all grown up and everything. Great post as always Anne!

  16. sprechen sie deutsch, eh mich?

    lmao I wish you didn't live so far away. <3

  17. Mich,

    i just started "Underwood" and am loving it, just loving it! Sooooooo cool! i wanted to be able to take it to Utah with me but it won't last that long, so may have to read two things at once...if i can stand it!

    You are a mah-volous, simply mah-volous author!!

    Love Ya!

  18. I do love your posts, you are an inspiration, you know that?? Just because you always seem so positive? Eeven though you may not feel it, your sooo lovely :) xxx

  19. So so true. and that last picture is a winner hahaha, what a gold moment. It's a bit sad though that kids these days just vegetate in from of the tv and comp (definitely noticed this), pretty sure my entire childhood involved frolicking outside amongst trees, bushes and dirt pretending to be a ninja princess and, later, a hobbit.


  20. yay for loosing :)

    Thats all I knew how to do as a kid was play pretend.
    Me & my sisters always played mermaid in the pool, diving board one kingdom, slide another kingdom, and the steps the least important of the kingdoms. I usually got stuck with the slide (aka the middle kingdom)..I was the middle child obviously.
    I still play pretend... I'm 23 :/

  21. SO pissed off that I live in the armpit of the world otherwise, I would be at your house for Christmas already!

    I'm always shocked when kids don't make believe, but I guess we grew up in the analogue age, unlike today's high-tech lot!

    OMG, playing WW2 with Jewish kids, hilarious! I can just imagine the look on their mum's face! Bet that went over like a pregnant pole vaulter! :)

  22. those kids were lucky to have you!!
    but, i'll most likely be in the tri-state area (CT is only 2 hours away after all) that time of year and I'd much rather attend your christmas than mine, but I doubt I can escape my family heheh..

  23. Heyheyhey, I'm using your book for my book report! I'm gonna interview either Maerin or Jayne =D

  24. I guess with all of the artificial stimulation that kids grow up around I shouldn't be surprised that some don't know how to pretend. Good on ya for teaching them, darlin'.~

  25. Sounds like another example of a "Playing Pretend Fail"..... like the time I played doctor with my imaginary friends. Sadly they always wanted to be the colonoscopist.

  26. I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Would have been a lot worse if they had been Germany. :P

  27. *Fear not, your Thing from me will come; however, I am a master in the art of procrastination. I also have that pesky licensure exam coming up. You will have it by Christmas, I promise.

  28. LMFAO.

    zomg. HOW can those children never have played pretend?!?!?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

    i am 20 years old, and i still 'play pretend' at least twice a week with my drama group whenever we have improvised comedy rehearsals! what the FRICK do they do at school during their playtime?! it makes me worry about the future of the human race. jeez.

    love you mich <3 x x x

    p.s. if i didnt live in the UK, i would be SO up for spending xmas with you! x x x

  29. I just ordered Underwood! I'm excited. I wish all published authors had blogs so I could talk to them and ask them questions 'n' stuff. Lol

  30. Found this:
    I know you loves the ponies. Great Halloween ideas.

  31. Oh gawd, it's so GOOD. Uh, sorry, playing nazis again.

    Much love to you Mich, sending skinny 104 vibes your way!

  32. That goes above and beyond the call of duty!

    I'm floored, astonished, shocked.

    *Massive hugs*

  33. I just turned 16, so I'm around the same age as those kids. I'm really upset you weren't my nanny. Is that creepy? I hope not. ;)

  34. Off to the Wild, Wild West, with one of the braclets you gave me and my copy of "Underwood"...pray for me too!

  35. Excluding the serial killers? Why? Thats kind of sad. Serial killers hardly ever kill people they know so you'd probably be safe. (and if they did try and kill you it would make for a fun christmas story!)

  36. yeah Mich you're such a Nazi :D hope you had 'better' themes for playing Pretend after this happened. :D
    and yes, kids have to play this all the time.

    Me and my cousins (who were pretty much like siblings to me) loved playing super mario and street fighter on SNES and later played, read and watched Pokémon and Digimon, played Zelda on N64 and everything so when we played pretend it had always something to do with one of the above mentioned games. I loved that so much.
    My gameboy with pokemon red was like a holy treassure and I would really like to kick this stupid children who are like 6 years old and are always like 'mommy BUY ME THAT GAME' and three days later they want a new one....


  37. Great Post!

    I used to play pretend the whole day, when my siblings didn´t want to, I made my stuffed animals pretend they were real.
    I had a dinosaur phase (used to "ride" on invisble dinosaurs) a horse phase (used to ride on them too) and a "survival on a lonely island" phase where my friends and I used to sneak to the fridge and steal some cheese, the only food on the island...

    greetings from Germany :-D


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.