Mike! I found the chocolate pudding!!

Last week., Bosslady was away in Europe. So naturally, Bossman and I reverted to childish behaviour for the entirety of the week. We gorged ourselves on all the gift baskets we received, played with the office toys, and did not put together the new table.

(emailed to Bosslady when she got back.)

I cleaned out Bossman's mailbox and found an unused $100 gift card from Urban Outfitters. Normally I would never buy anything from them, but hey free money. I got Ziggy Stardust on vinyl and a nice landscape curtain to hang over the bedroom closet.

We had quite a nice Christmas this year. The usual crowd--Mumsy, myself, and Lil Sis, plus Big Sis#2 with Niecey G and Useless-in-Law, the Jewish Orphans, and M. There was a highly entertaining moment in which Useless-in-Law turned off the stupid Christmas movies so he could watch Nascar, and he was promptly disciplined by Mum, who put the Christmassy stuff back on.*

From Santa, Mich received some records, a storage box for said records, a remote controlled BB-8, a Gryffindor bathrobe,** and a cheapie left-handed violin.***

Mum had the best Christmas yet, I think. She got a giant television for her bedroom, a bunch of classic country CD's, a painting of the view from my grandmother's bedroom window (painted by me), and tickets to see Kris Kristofferson at the end of January.

Harleyquinn escaped and climbed the fake tree.

(I brought them along for the couple days at Mum's****, but because Simple Cat and Daisy do not get along, my cats had to be shut in downstairs.)

The day after Christmas, Daisy knocked over the giant bouquet of roses we had on the table, soaking two of the dining room chairs. She also ate a good number of rose petals and immediately vomited them up beside the tipped over flowers.

Daisy loves bingeing and purging flowers. And plants in general. She once binged and purged an entire bonsai tree.

I will probably be eating leftover turkey for the next month. It turned out fantastic, as I cooked it upside-down, which is the only way to roast a turkey.

Y'all do anything exciting over the holidays?

*We love our stupid Christmas movies.

**It is beyond fantastic.

***I'm sure my neighbours will be thrilled by this.

****Simple Cat hOwLeD for literally all of the hour+ car ride.

My drive to work this morning:

That haze is not fog, it is actually so much snow I could barely see the car in front of me.

Yes, I was using my phone whilst driving. But I am always sure to make certain there are no cars beside or behind me so that if I should hit a deer, I won't ruin anyone else's day.*

I do not understand the weather.

My new license plates finally arrived.

I'll let y'all work that one out yourselves.


The Simple Cat has discovered that heat comes out of the vent above the stove when the oven is on.

It is now her favourite sleeping spot. 

^I posted that picture in a facebook group (of which I am no longer a member) for crazy cat ladies and was more or less crucified for it. It's so upsetting!! How could I do that to my cat?!?! 

Yes, I am that freaking stupid that I would allow my cat to get burned. 

I f**king hate everyone seriously


This coming Sunday is Ugly Sweater Day at church. I have sacrificed my own sweater, which is the ugliest sweater in creation, for Lil Bro#2 to wear. 

He has actually been wearing it out in public and it is now his favourite article of clothing.

Earlier this week, Lil Bro#2 reviewed Fatal Attraction.

Christmas is rapidly approaching and I don't even care. I decorated Mum's house and put up her tree, threw some fairy lights around the apartment, and decorated the office, but I'm just not feeling it.

The office dog even got decorated.

Listen to this band, they are phenomenal:



































*At this point, I am fairly certain that I am unkillable. After 3 attempts, one unintentional overdose, thousands of accumulated prayers for death, and countless accidents that would have given the Lord ample opportunity to kill me, I somehow remain alive.