Thursday, June 11, 2015

A Post About the Simple Cat

Poison Ivy, the simple cat, is having a rough time dealing with a new person in the house (Bipolar Auntie). The fact that Mumsy and Lil Sis spent the week home sick does not help matters, as this is Not Normal and Ivy has trouble with pretty much everything, especially change.

Most of the time, Ivy is Concerned:

Mumsy was talking loudly on the phone and Ivy was exceptionally concerned by this. 

 Poison Ivy is *different*. She lacks a number of motor skills. She has no concept of spacial relationships. She has no concept of actions = possible negative consequences.

like stealing food from the counter = the shame cape

 Most cats master the About-Face-Flee as kittens.

Ivy has not mastered the About-Face-Flee.

Harleyquinn can leap up on to a surface that is over 6 feet off the ground, and land in a sitting position. All in one movement. Daisy, even in her old age, still moves about with grace and agility.

Ivy? Not so much.

and then she cries for me to come get her down

Most cats are picky eaters. And most cats will inspect something that falls on the floor before eating it.

Ivy eats first and asks questions later. She presumes that if you are in the kitchen, and you drop something, then that something is definitely food and she should eat it.

Harleyquinn loves a good snuggle, but Ivy hates being picked up. Which is unfortunate, because she's so stinking cute, all you want to do is torture her with cuddles.

In order to counteract an imminent pick-up, she will attach herself firmly to whatever surface upon which she happens to be standing.

Ivy is Daisy's sworn nemesis. Daisy doesn't exactly like Harleyquinn either, but she puts up with her and occasionally allows Harley to eat her food.

If Ivy comes near her, she hisses and growls and will not stop until Ivy is gone.

Ivy does not understand social cues. And Ivy likes to play. She and Harley spend a considerable amount of time tearing through the house chasing each other and play fighting. Their other favourite game is the litter box ambush, wherein one cat will wait in the shadows while the other uses the litter box, only to attack her when she leaves the bathroom.

Ivy cannot grasp that Daisy absolutely does not ever want to play these games. 

Daisy just wants to be left the heck alone. This has led to a number of problems--Daisy peeing all over the house because she was afraid to use the litter box; Daisy needing to be carried from one room to another in order to get her fed and using the litter box; and eventually a somewhat complicated schedule of separation depending on whether or not anyone is in the house to make sure Ivy leaves Daisy the feck alone.

Because of this, Mumsy HATED Ivy the first few weeks I had to move back home. After Mumsy took care of the kitties during my week in Kentucky, now her and Ivy are like bff's.


In other news, everyone in the house is recovered. Now Bosslady and M. are both violently sick. I have not yet caught the plague. [knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood]


  1. The "litter box ambush" is a popular past time here too, as is "push the sister away from the feeding bowl and eat until I barf" game. Sitting on my desk and pushing things onto the floor is the best game, though. I love my kitties to death.

  2. Ivy sounds like my cat. Mimi HATES being picked up and has problems jumping too. Hmm...

    Ivy is gorgeous, though!

  3. Love this!
    I have two dogs and they provide endless entertainment
    Ivy is adorable x😝

  4. Apparently cats are like snowflakes.

  5. I'm glad everyone has recovered, and that your mumsy and Ivy are good friends. She sounds like an awesome cat to have around. If a little trying at first. She is adorable too. Shame she doesn't like being held. One of mine is like that. He loves petting but hates being held.

  6. God, the cat is so cute. can i have Ivy?

    bad Ivy, stealing things. FOOD THINGS. BAD IVY.

    GOD WHY DO CATS NOT LIKE CUDDLES SOMETIMES? i want a cat that likes cuddles. mine is an ass. he only likes being fed.

    i am Daisy. Daisy is my spirit animal.

    also, here's to hoping you don't get sick.

    -Sam Lupin

  7. My cats also have no concept of personal space. My bed is just below window level - which means I regularly get cat bodies / butts pressed against my head while trying to sleep. They apparently don't like to share my pillow, especially while I'm using it!

  8. "Litter Box Ambush"! That is funny. Ivy and Scrappy would seem to be somewhat kindred spirits..

  9. Ivy is freakin' adorable!!! My cat, Penelope, is a weirdo, too...but I lurves her something fierce :)

  10. I really need to create an illustration of Pippin's brain sometime. There is a mostly-horizontal plane with two types of zones: Snuggle and Attack (like a checkerboard, but a lot more random, with dimples and hills also, like if you've ever had one of those tiny handheld plastic cases with a bunch of beads you tried to balance in different dimples). Pippin's mental state is governed by a marble which rolls freely on this plane amongst the zones. It doesn't matter how genuine the snuggle is, the marble may shift at any time and you will find yourself bleeding.

    The ONLY factor outside the marblescape that has been shown to influence Snuggle vs. Attack is Feet vs. Hands. Feet are 90% for Snuggle. Go figure.

  11. I love this post! (I love anything about cats, though. So the bar is kinda low, haha! That having been said, I love all your posts.)

    My two cats are polar opposites. Its quite amusing to watch them respond to the same noise: one scrambles under the bed in mortal terror and the other will flick an ear and carry on.

  12. Yep, this definitely satiated my daily need to see cats on the Internet. Ivy is adorable. I love the shame cape. When mine sports one, she ends up running around the house thinking it's chasing her, which is hilarious until she destroys everything in her path.

    1. Ivy did that once when she got herself trapped in a paper bag and I think it may be the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

  13. LMFAO.... your drawings are hilarious!
    She's super cute! I'd probably screech like a little girl if i saw her nearby and attempt to hug and kiss.
    (Her, not you :) )

    My cat is afraid of every single little thing. When she notices her shadow all of a sudden, she jumps and then jumps again until she realizes that she didn't jump enough. Also she mastered the art of jumping from ground level all the way to roof height, the top of my bookshelf.

  14. i think cat interactions are so much more complicated than dogs - and maybe some humans. :)


We say whatever we want to whomever we want, at all times.