Am I going mad, or did the word "think" escape your lips?!?

Tomorrow, I will not have time to work out.

I just got back into a good exercise regime (read: over-exercise 6 or 7 days a week). What with disruptions like the beach, barbecues, birthdays, and boys, I hadn't been exercising so much. But I just had 4 decent workout days in a row.Imagine you're on a ship and it's on fire and things are exploding and it's sinking, and you're about to die.

But then you find a lifeboat and you're saved!

That's what it felt like being on the elliptical for an hour.


Super stylin', too. 

yeah I know it's a crappy photo

Stole the sweatpants from Little Sis. You can tell they're not mine because I would never buy trousers with writing on the bum.

They're comfy, though. Super soft. She wouldn't give them to me, so I "accidentally" took them out of the laundry pile and then cut the bottoms off (I'm a midget--I need to cut the bottoms off of most things...). Sis is normal height, so when she took the sweatpants back they looked absolutely ridiculous on her. She had no choice but to let me keep them.


That's how I have acquired a lot of her clothes. It's brilliant if you think about it. 

( ﾟ▽ﾟ)


Last night, I came in from having a ciggie and there was a rather large cricket waiting in the kitchen. 

I think the fact that I don't really kill bugs is old news at this point. Even when under extreme physical stress, I feel bad killing bugs. 


This is becoming a nightly occurrence in the kitchen. Idk if the same cricket is coming back, or if they're all different crickets.


I use the same cup each time a cricket finds its way up from the basement. It's been designated the Cricket Cup. 

Catching those things under a cup is not easy. Their antennae are like six inches long, and they can jump like 10 feet. Know what happens when something that can jump that far jumps from under a cup? If the cup is too light, it's going to escape. With the cup. 


I'm a pro now. I can even make sure their antennae are all the way in the cup, so they don't hurt themselves. 

And then get a piece of paper to make the bottom.

And then slide a piece of something sturdier under that (I've been using Little Sis's college applications). Carry the cricket outside, and release it back into the wild.


Or more likely, to find its way right back into the house. 


Am barbecuing tomorrow. Some friends I haven't seen in a while are coming to visit from Staten Island. Mum invited a few of her friends. I invited a few of mine, including the boy (?!?), who might come a bit later.


The surest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I am making ribs, bbq chicken, hamburgers, and a grilled vegan pizza for one of my friends. 


And s'mores cookies. I'll be documenting those. I more or less invented it by combining a few recipes I found from other people, plus my own personal touches. Hopefully they shall be fantasmic. 


Hope you're all having a good weekend so far! <3   

How My Date Went

...or, How To Make a Complete Fool of Yourself in 2 Hours or Less.

Before we talk about that....

Congratulations, kids. Nearly every single one of you is a sociopath. The only exceptions were Invisible Ninja, missinsanity, Sam, Lina, Jenn, and Honor. While none of you six delicious creatures are even within firing range of Normal, you are apparently not potential serial killers. :D

I had not anticipated so many fellow sociopaths. …Although the first time I heard that question, I answered that OBVIOUSLY the Sister was getting it on with the dude, so the Woman killed her in a fit of jealous rage. A friend and I heard the question at the same time and both gave that answer, and he is even more of a sociopath than I am (complete with a childhood of setting fires and killing small animals for fun).

Because I enjoyed the non-sociopath answers as well, you may all have a prize if you’d like one! Drop me a line in the affirmative, and sendeth your mailing address here, anonymously if you like. I have not gathered the prizes yet, but I’m sure I’ll find something exciting. There may be a dollar store excursion involved. 

Ok so date-recap! 

Boy texted me on Monday and asked if I wanted to do something Tuesday night. We decided on a movie, possible drinks/dinner if there was time. 

I managed to contain the anxiety until about half an hour before he arrived at my house. Then I began to panic. What the heck was I going to wear?!? I felt too fat for a skirt. Plus it was raining and humid out, so skirt seemed like a bad idea. But my 00 Express jeans felt a bit snug around the middle. 

Cue panic attack.

Eventually settled on the 00 jeans, a nice flowery camisole with a black cardigan, and at Little Sis's insistence, a nice pair of cute stripey high-heeled sandals. 

Despite the fact that I felt enormous, kind of wobbly in heels because I haven't worn really high heels in a while, and self-conscious because the rainy weather makes my hair frizzy, I managed to leave the house without having a nervous collapse.

Kazehana helped. <3

I get free movie tickets at certain cinemas, but of course none of those were playing any decent films at decent times, so we decided to go to the Palisades Mall. We ended up going to see Horrible Bosses (boy didn't seem too keen on Cowboys & Aliens, which would have been my first choice...). We had like half an hour to kill before the movie started, so we grabbed a couple drinks at the bar/restaurant near the theatre. 

Boy is quite the gentleman. I did not open a door at all on our date. Even the car door--he practically flew out of the car when we got to the mall to open my door before I could do it myself. And at the bar he even pulled out my chair before I sat down. This is a very nice change from the last bunch of boys I've gone on dates with, all of whom more or less tried to molest me on the first date. 

So at the bar we each had a shot of Jameson and a beer, and then I got a diet soda before we went into the movie. I should have known better, because even without extra beverages I need to pee like every 15 minutes. I tried to hold it, but towards the last quarter of the film, I needed the loo.

I hate running out of the theatre in the middle of a film. Even when I try to be stealth, I feel like there's a spotlight on me.

Remember in that last post, how I bemoaned the fact that the Universe really likes to kick you when you're already down? Well, the Universe, or God, or Satan, or perhaps all of them decided to take the opportunity presented by me attempting to leave the theatre as quietly as possible. 

The heel of my shoe broke. The heel of the left shoe. And my foot had fallen asleep. 

When you have sprained, broken, and tendon-f*cked your ankle as many times as I have, a disruption such as a broken shoe is not something from which you can quickly recover.

The heel fell out from under me. My ankle then fell out from under me. This happens somewhat frequently (I fall down a lot because my ankle just randomly collapses). But when walking across the front of a crowded movie theatre, you kind of don't want to fall down. So in attempting to remain upright, I managed to make my fall to the floor about 100x as dramatic. 

-_________________-

I wasn't kidding when I said that people like me should just not be allowed out in public.

Other than the epic fail, the date was rather nice. And boy wants to do something on the weekend, so hopefully that means I haven't scared him away with my total lack of coordination.