Love is a burning thing.

BrianSlade the office dog was acting energetic today. Normally he just sleeps, or sneaks up behind me to beg for dog biscuits. I never hear him, I just get a whiff of dog and dog-breath (WHICH ARE BOTH THE MOST DISGUSTING SMELLS EVER BTW), and then turn to see him standing there, a foot away from my chair.

And then he starts chattering his teeth like he's trying out for Hellraiser.

Today though, he started frapping.

But like most dogs, BrianSlade is not very intelligent. Which inevitably leads to

He thinks he's a lot smaller, apparently. The poor dog is constantly walking into things, and bashing his face on walls and furniture when he turns his head.

So, these exist:

I'm tempted to buy them, but I know I'll eat the entire box in one sitting, so I must resist...

Remember when I first moved into my hobbit hole, I talked about my absolutely freaking gorgeous neighbour upstairs? 

Guess what

He's single now

o.O

He's also in a band (second from left, in the hat).

I hung out with him upstairs the other night.

:D

::stalker::

Ok so maybe you guys can help me out with this because my bff M. and his theatrics have got me over-analyzing it to the point of mental illness.

So Thanksgiving night I got home at like 8.00. While I was fumbling with my keys because I forgot to leave an outside light on, delicious neighbour scared the crap out of me (which is nearly impossible; I am ashamed) when he came hurrying down to my door to apologize for his uncle parking in the spot next to mine.

His uncle moved in a couple weeks ago, and usually parks up the other side of the house. There are four parking spaces, two for me and two for them, but none of us really bother with worrying about whose spot is whose. Neighbour's uncle (as well as other friends and relatives) have parked in that spot many times before.

But neighbour came to apologize anyway, even though he has to know full well by now that I hardly ever have visitors.

And then he casually mentions that he and his girlfriend broke up.

(Which was awful, because I had to try really REALLY effing hard to act sympathetic while fireworks and flaming rainbows were dancing around in my head.)

And then he said I should come upstairs and hang out sometimes.

M. believes that delicious neighbour orchestrated this on purpose. I'm not so sure. I mean yeah that is totally something I would do, but I'm a girl. Idk how guys operate. :/

BUT I intend to pursue this. Potential awkward living situation be damned!

excuse me while I go burn my bra

The holidays are upon on us, and you know what that means!

And endless stream of mothereffing gift baskets and boxes of junk food.

This is officially the first of the season, it arrived today. So you can fully appreciate its size, here's a pic of the box with my hand in it:

That there, my friends, is a 20-minute decision-making process every time you want a piece of chocolate.

Nasimiyu posted a link to this article a few days ago, and even though I knew I shouldn't because it would just make me angry, I started browsing through the rest of that website. Everything they post is in a similar vein, with them hiding behind "oh we didn't mean it, it's satire, we're just being funny" whenever people get pissed off.

(I apologize in advance for the swearing.)

Now I am probably not what anyone would call a Feminist, mostly because I am too lazy to properly care. I believe in equality between the sexes, but I also do acknowledge that ladies are very different from gentlemen.

....not that anyone on returnofkings.com is a gentleman, but that's besides the point...

......also it really REALLY pisses me off that they have called their site "Return of Kings," because that makes me think of The Return of the King, and NO FRACKING WAY IN HELL should any of the douchebags responsible for that website EVER try to have anything in common with Aragorn. Because they don't. So from this point on, I shall re-name them Remaining Men Together.

....ok getting back to these idiots over at remaining men together dot com....

Women are different than men. Biologically speaking, we are hard-wired to play the mother/nurturer while the lads do the hunting/protecting thing. Does that mean that all women should become Susie-homemakers? Hell no. That's the beauty of the society we live in. While it is far from perfect, most of us do have a choice in what we want to do with our lives.

And then you get cretins like these people.

Let's take a closer look at this massive work of bullshit.

click to embiggen if the writing is too small

Oh and then there's the article on how all of these women's bodies are completely unacceptable because they are all fat:

Or the list of things women shouldn't be allowed to do.

Or this article about how we all secretly love "pretend" rape.

Or this one, a How-To guide for guys who want to turn themselves and their friends into walking talking septic tanks of venereal disease. 

I believe in freedom of speech, and what better place to exercise that than the internet? But I do not believe in this level of stupidity. There is nothing wrong with being a man, and enjoying your manliness to the fullest. (Please do, because I also very much enjoy manliness.) But the standards these idiots are supporting make the lives of women in the Old Testament look like a fucking picnic. With pony rides and prizes.

uughhh I can't even talk about this anymore.

Let's look at my cats instead.

Harley and Ivy are not amused.