Once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

First day at work went very well. There is a Dunkin Donuts in walking distance, so at least I can get some walking in every day. 'Tis like a 15-minute walk round trip. The office is kind of a disaster, though--old files and boxes and crap everywhere. Once I get settled in, that shall be my first project. And then I will try redesigning the boss's letterhead. And his letters in general. I'll never understand where some people get their graphic design ideas. I mean I'm no graphic designer; my skills are in typography, but holy hell. Sending letters out typed in Courier New?! Pleeeeeeease!!


But I figure I should wait until the boss is more comfortable with me around before I go insulting his letter design. 


Little Sis told me they're doing the D.A.R.E. program in her school, in health class. Do y'all remember Dare? The most pointless class there ever was, in my opinion. They should just show all ten year olds Requiem For A Dream. They'll never do drugs after that. And Little Sis said Officer Kirk is still doing the Dare program. He must be pretty old now, but fair play to him for still trying to teach a bunch of upper-middle class brats that their parents' cocaine habits are in fact a bad idea. 


And according to Little Sis, Officer Kirk no longer brings the Briefcase to Dare classes. I suspect that this is my fault. Sophomore year in high school, Officer Kirk and his partner came to talk to us about the wrongness of drugs. And they brought a briefcase with them. A briefcase filled with drug samples, so we could all get an idea of the things in life we should be avoiding. 

[Forgive the ridiculously bad art skills. I never claimed to be good at art.]


Seriously, what were the Dare officers thinking!? I guess a lot of the kids were like, "oh wow look at all those drugs--I'm glad I know what they look like now so I can avoid them." But come on. I couldn't have been the only one that started drooling.

My first thoughts--I NEED that briefcase.


I tried. I had a friend create a diversion while I attempted a grab-and-run. It might have worked if there had been only one police officer, but I'm pretty sure Officer Kirk was on to me. 


Little Sis said they no longer use the briefcase. 


I had a semi-successful Friday night, as far as eating. I had a little more than I would have liked, but I did NOT sneak downstairs in the dead of night to devour everything in the pantry. Baby steps, right? Went on a dinner date with Mum (oh the exciting social life I lead!), and wore a cute new outfit:

The leggings are sparkly, and the shoes have leg warmer type things attached to them (also sparkly). I just bought a bunch a short skirts to wear with leggings. I like this look. Might go to Kohl's today and get more skirts. And more leggings. I want more sparkly ones. 


I think I'm finally current on all your blogs. Commenters get first priority, so if I missed yours come and yell at me! 


Tracy, thanks for the lovely comments! You are such a sweetheart. Move in with me? You REALLY need your own blog, so I can comment on it. I was thinking of making you an authorized poster on mine. What say you?


Misschickabee--blogger won't let me look at your blog, if you have one! Thanks for your wonderful comments. ;) You're a doll!


Well I'm off to work out and re-read Harry Potter #3 for the seventh time. Have a lovely weekend girlies! Hopefully will get my second vlog up soon. I'm waiting for the house to empty of its other occupants, as there's a very good chance I could get committed if I'm caught doing what I plan on doing....

What about the fog? Stuck in a hole? In the fog? In the middle o' the night? With an owl! Up a tree!

I think I've finally got the blog reading and commenting into a good rhythm. It took me a while to realize that I can't use my usual tactic for everything in life (All Or Nothing) with blogs. I shall comment on my commenters first, and then do my best to get through everyone's else's blogs. If I miss yours, come bother me. :D


OMG look how cute my kiikiiii is...


She's begging for food. She does this all day, and well into the night. If you go into the kitchen, Callisto will be there, pacing in front of the fridge and trying to trip you until you get her SOME DAMN FOOD. If I get some more energy, I might add subtitles later...

So first day of the new job is tomorrow. I've got a cute little outfit all picked out. Mum helped with the picking out. What began as a cute mother-daughter game of dress up quickly spiraled into a fashion debate and a vicious diatribe on my weight (or lack thereof). I tried explaining to Mum that the only work skirts I have are from like 4 years ago, and they're all size 3's and 4's (HUGE basically). But she was actually more concerned with my choice of sweater (too many "fluffs"), stockings ("they're so frumpy"), and skirt ("you're wearing that?!"). Mum and I have very different ideas about fashion. She'd have me in overpriced black trousers with matching jacket, a silk shirt, and a leopard print accessory. I chose a nicely fitting grey skirt over black stockings, with a nice black sweater. Purple laced camisole is under the sweater, the lace sticking out just enough at the bottom that I can match it to my adorable magenta kitten heels. One does want a hint of colour! Here it is:

I think I look like a bit of a heffalump, but oh well...


I've got all my shite prepared for tomorrow morning. Mug waiting by the kettle, Coffee cup next to the coffee maker so I can grab it on the way out. And a little survival kit. What's the survivor kit for,  you ask?
Well since I'm starting a new job in a new place, the first thing I must do is assess the Food Situation. This is a delicate process, but I've outlined the steps.
1.) I shall make note of:
- existence of kettle and mini-fridge in the office
- any food vedors/cafeteria/etc in the building?
- Nearest Dunkin Donuts--is it walking distance?
- What sort of woman is the other secretary? Fat? Thin? Nosy? And what does she do for lunch?


2.) What's in the survival kit:
- Bottle with protein shake (200 cals)
- 1 cup cheerios in a baggie (100 cals)
- 1 fiber bar (110 cals)
- Splenda
- Teabags (black, green, and spiced)
- Bottle of water
- Diet Pepsi
This is my basic office food kit. Ideally, I will eat nothing while I am at work. The foodstuffs are for emergencies. Sips from the protein shake should keep me going. With the Cheerios I could have one every hour, or every half hour, etc. As long as I don't get lightheaded, because I obviously don't want to get like that at work. Drink tea throughout the day. Have the Pepsi sometime in the last 2 hours of the day, as a treat and to make the end of the day go by faster.


3.) See how well my survival kit works with the new office environment. If they have an electric kettle or a microwave, I'm good for making tea. I could then bring cup-a-soups and make it look like I'm eating "lunch." My hope is that what worked in the last office works here: I made my weird eating habits visible from the get go. I only brought little snacks, and ate as little as possible all day. Only the other secretary ever commented, making a joking remark about how I "eat like a bird." I just agreed and said I wasn't really a big eater. 


 Super-Vintage-Hardcore-Susie-Homemaker-Stepmom is like something out of Leave It To Beaver. I have some issues with her, but I have to admit that her teachings have never led me astray yet. She taught me well--a meek, pretty, dainty-looking lady will never be questioned for eating very little, because it goes so well with her frail, doll-like charm. This is Surface-Mich. The painfully polite, soft-spoken, dainty-faerie Mich who will gladly make you a cup of tea and drown you in sweetness. Complete strangers, acquaintances, and everyone in the workplace gets this version of my personality. 


It's interesting because these are the people who end up unloading all of their deepest darkest fears and secrets into my ears, without me prompting or encouraging them. I have SO MUCH dirt on so many people. >:D


But y'all get the Actual Mich on here. <3
Night night, girlies! Have a beautiful day! Or night!