In honor of Monstermania, which I went to two weeks ago (and
to which Stepmom forbade Little Bros 1 and 2 to go, because she doesn't
want to encourage their interest in horror films because she doesn't want
disturbing images and thoughts planted in their heads; they're 18 and 19 for
feck's sake I think maybe she needs to unwrap the umbilical cord from around
their necks like now), I shall now talk about horror films more than I already
do. (Do I? I feel like I do....).
[I met Norman Reedus!! He was a total sweetheart, and he liked my tattoos. :D]
Yesterday evening, whilst outside having my last ciggie, I
looked around at the woods surrounding my backyard and imagined what would
happen if an axe-wielding maniac suddenly burst through the foliage, heading
straight for me with his axe raised and ready to strike.
Obviously, I would not allow fear to cloud my survival
instincts, despite the fact that, in my current position, I have few weapons at
my disposal.
Such a move would only buy me time, but just enough to time
to get into the house, lock and barricade the door, and procure a Good Weapon.
So many choices...
(I think I was some kind of warrior in a past life... One of
my ultimate fantasies is to ride into battle on an armoured horse [preferably a Friesian],
with a good soundtrack [I ride at ~1:00] to herald
my glory.)
Do I use the scimitar, which has a much better reach than
the murderer's axe?
Or the bow and arrows, which gives me the advantage of being
able to inflict harm from a distance?
Dude's got an axe--eventually he'll be in the house. I have
2 or 3 minutes at maximum to get the cat into a safe place (obvs priority #1), dial 911, grab a
weapon, and get to a good spot to use said weapon.
So I'll be listening for the axe murderer--is he trying to
come in through the barricaded back door? Most likely not; he'll make for the
nearest window he can fit through. Which puts him at a distinct disadvantage,
should I choose to make use of the bow & arrows, and/or the throwing knives.
Poor guy doesn't stand a chance.
....of course sometimes I envision this scenario going the
other way, with me putting up a good fight before meeting a violent and bloody
(and obviously cinematic) death.
Or imagining how well I would fare in an apocalyptic
setting. (This one can't be helped, as approximately 80% of all of my dreams
take place in either chaotic armageddon, or a post-apocalyptic setting, so it's
obviously just there in my head always and there's nothing I can do about it.)
Apparently, I would fare pretty well; or at least many of my friends think so.
A couple weeks back whilst we played archery in the back garden, they joked
that I should wear a sign that says In Case of Armageddon, Get Behind Mich.
^__^
...
......
.......
Am I insane? Does anyone else spend large chunks of their
free time putting themselves into horror movie situations? I feel like maybe
this is abnormal.
