I would say TGIF, but I'm unemployed so it's like every day is TGIF.

I've been doing well this week. Yesterday I ate: turkey bacon (75), a tuna salad (~150), iced coffee (50), soup (220), and cold cuts (50), for a total of about 545. And I burned roughly that much working out. Still hovering around 100lbs, but at this point I probably shouldn't lose too much before Halloween. I bought the Leeloo costume (:D !!!!!), and it's custom made. If I lose too much between now and the end of October, I won't fit in it. Also, Mum is starting to get on my case again about my weight, so I figure if I hover here until it gets cold, then I'll be ok. Once the nice lovely winter weather kicks in, I can start losing more and cover it up with fashionable sweaters. 

I feel like I'm wasting your time because I have nothing epic, clever, or humourous to write. 

But imma keep writing because I MUST write something every day. I have writer's block (AGAIN!!!) and have not written any fiction since the Jersey Shore trip. Anyone have any fun story ideas? Give me an interesting idea and I'll run with it and turn it into a short story!!!  And don't feel like you can't because you're not creative. That's bollocks. Everyone can be creative if they try.

I think Mum's cleaning lady might have eating issues similar to my own. I say "Mum's cleaning lady," because I don't think we need a cleaning lady. We can barely pay the mortgage, and it's not like cleaning the house would be difficult. But Mum is a princess and has never cleaned or done chores in her life (she likes to talk about her difficult childhood in the boonies of Ireland, but that is very inaccurate - we do come from the boonies, but back then, the Henrys were the wealthiest family in the town and Granddad made sure his girls never had to do anything for themselves).

Don't get me wrong - I love Bettie. I try to help her out when she comes every other Thursday, so she can leave earlier and thus hopefully have more free time to herself. She is also trying to teach me how to speak Portuguese, so that I might one day go crash in her house in Rio, free of charge. 

But Bettie is very very skinny. And yesterday, when I was making my turkey bacon breakfast and asked her if she wanted some, she said yes but only one piece. Then she scraped the inside out of a bagel and broke her piece of turkey bacon into tiny pieces to make a stunted sort of sandwich.

Hmmm.

If she hadn't scraped the inside out of the bagel, I probably wouldn't have noticed anything odd. But that seems like "disordered" behavior.

In other news, Rhea the garden spider seems to have slaughtered 17 insects in one night. She is still sitting in the middle of the mammoth web, surveying her glorious realm. I have to wonder if she is the same spider who built the masterpiece outside our front door earlier in the summer. That web is multi-dimensional, and covers the whole of the outside light. Genius! The spider who created it apparently bit off more than she could chew, though - she abandoned the web after catching every moth in a 50-mile radius. Over-crowding is an understatement. I'd take a photo of what's left of the web, but it doesn't come out right as the entire thing is pretty much covered in the carcasses of flying insects. Ew.

Hello to new facebook friends!

And speaking of making new friends:

This is Rhea. She is a Garden Spider. She's been living in the shady corner where the deck meets the house, and has been there for about 10 days. 


Garden Spiders rule because every evening, they build these giant ridiculously elaborate webs, sit in the middle of the web all night, and then take the web down in the morning. Then they build a new web the next evening, and so on.


Rhea, unlike the rest of her brethren, does not build a new web every day. She creates such glorious feats of architecture that she just leaves them up. She hides during the day, and then goes out to sit in her web every night. 


And then on Wednesday afternoon, her web was destroyed. The young lad who comes to mow the lawn took a leafblower to Rhea's web. I cried. I thought Rhea - a Titan among spiders - was gone forever. 


But no. In retaliation, she built a web that is about ten times as large as the old one, and twice as awesome.


I think maybe I should have gone to college for biology or something.