This will be
long and boring, but here is the only place I can really vent about this.
The one
potential issue that made me reluctant to accept a place on the church council
has arisen.
Politics.
Over the last
few months, our church has turned into the bloody War of the Roses. It's like a
Game of Thrones episode without the actual violence.
Brief
summary--Pastor Fusspot came to our church back in 2012. We embraced him and
his family because his wife is one of those people who is so good and kind and
wonderful she's like a little ray of perfect sunshine. idk how the hell he
managed to get her to marry him.
I didn't notice
any issues until about a year later, when I started (or at least tried to
start) getting involved with the church's children's ministries. To keep this
short[er], basically Pastor Fusspot is a control freak, a micromanager, a very poor
speaker, and he has a problem with women.*
This eventually
led to a big blow up between Pastor Fusspot and the couple who used to be in
charge of the music. Luke and April left the church, taking the whole band with
them.**
Then Mike the
Band Leader and his wife were hired to manage the music, and they brought in
their friends to make up what is now half of the band (the other half being me,
Lil Bro#2, one of the drummers, two 13 year old girls doing backup vocals, and
New Guy on the keyboard).
Our band is
fantastic. We've had visitors to our church tell us we have one of the best
worship teams they've ever seen. I didn't even realize how good we are until I
visited a couple other churches and saw their bands. We rock.
Pastor Fusspot
and Mike the Band Leader started butting heads from the get go. Nothing major,
it's just Pastor Fusspot being his micromanaging self and wanting to control
every last thing that goes on in the church and Mike the Band Leader trying to
get him to see reason when he's about to make a stupid decision.
Mostly they just
agreed to disagree whenever an issue arose and went on peacefully co-existing.
Then Pastor
Fusspot & Family went away for a couple weeks to help a family member down
in Florida. In their absence, Mike the Band Leader and one of our other church
leaders gave sermons for the 2 Sundays Pastor Fusspot was away.
Mike the Band
Leader is an amazing speaker. Everyone loved his sermon. And word of this got
back to Pastor Fusspot. (And I think many of us realized then what a poor
speaker Pastor Fusspot is...)
This is when the
serious head-butting between them began. It's been one thing after
another--Pastor Fusspot doesn't like the songs we're playing, now we're not
allowed to do anything even remotely country, no Pastor doesn't like these
songs either, Pastor doesn't want Doe leading more than 2 songs per Sunday,
Pastor doesn't want Mike's Wife leading any songs ever, Pastor doesn't want to
get one competent person running the sound board every Sunday, etc etc etc etc.
And then two
weeks ago, Pastor Fusspot tells Mike and his wife that the wife is no longer
allowed to be in the band because Fusspot doesn't like her voice. She can work
the sound board instead.
We need Mike's
Wife. She has the best stage presence out of all of us. She's a freaking wizard
when it comes to harmonizing on vocals. She's the best at directing all the
backup singers. And for some reason when she and I sing together, the combo of
our voices sounds like the singing of the effing angels themselves. Yes, she is the
best at working the sound board, but snatching her off the worship team before
training someone to really replace is just plain stupid.
Mike the band
leader tried reasoning with Pastor Fusspot, but of course Fusspot would have
none of it. Mike tried once again to find us a somewhat professional sound
person (because we really need someone one the board who knows what they're
doing) and even offered to pay the potential sound person out of his own
pocket. But no matter what Mike said, Fusspot just shut it down.
Fast forward to
yesterday afternoon.
I get a phone
call from Pastor Fusspot that he has scheduled an emergency council meeting for
7.00 PM. He won't tell me what it's about. I told him I couldn't go because I
had an appointment at the sheriffs office regarding my gun permit (and it takes
MONTHS to get an appointment, I made this one back in February), so Fusspot
says to call as close to 7 as I can and they'll conference me in.
I told Mike
about the emergency meeting (not to blab, we just text back and forth a lot
every day, mostly sending each other stupid youtube videos) and he said, "oh
dear"..... and then told me he put all his thoughts of what's been happening the
last few weeks into a letter and sent it to Pastor Fusspot that morning.
I called into
the meeting at about 7.30. Three of us were attending via telephone, as only
three of the other council members could make it to church. What followed was
the most frustrating and stressful and drama-filled 90 minutes I've had this year.
Pastor Fusspot
wants Mike gone. But he won't fire him because then Mike can claim unemployment
benefits. So he has come up with a plan that will guarantee Mike quits. As I
have noticed that Fusspot is fond of doing, he bends the truth to suit his side of
things, misquotes members of the congregation to back himself up, and at one
point even outright lied about someone in church telling him that Mike has been
stirring "dissension" within the congregation.
One council
member expressed his concern (and not for the first time) that Mike leaving the
church could destroy what took us several years to build back up. Myself and
one of the other council members (who is a drummer in the band) seconded this
notion. One council member declined to offer a real opinion. Two of the council
members--both members of our church since it started back in the 80's--lean
more towards Pastor Fusspot's side out of loyalty to the church itself.
When the meeting
was headed to its end and Pastor Fusspot demanded we each weigh in on his plan,
I expressed a desire to be left out of that vote. I was honest--I said I think
I'm too close to this situation to be objective about it, especially since Mike
and his wife are two of my closest friends. The drummer agreed with me. But
Pastor Fusspot wouldn't have it. In the end, me and the drummer were basically
forced into an "ok fine do it" and the meeting was adjourned.
I did not tell
Mike details of what happened in the meeting, but I told him enough so that he
was forewarned. But then this morning I was like f**k it.
I'm done. I am
done with Pastor Fusspot's constant stream of bullsh*t, I am done with his
awful sermons. I am done with his total lack of respect for women. I am done
with him treating everyone who has been trying to help him like they do not
matter. He does have a few good qualities, but at this point it is apparent
that he will never compromise enough for those qualities to do any good in the
church.
I feel horrible
about this. If Mike leaves the church, the band goes with him. The two teenage
girls on backing vocals will remain because of their parents. The drummer/other
council member could go either way, but I can see him following us out the
door. New Guy on the keyboard might stay behind, but based on the fact that he
and his wife have become good friends with Mike and his wife, I doubt it.
On top of that,
our families will leave with us. Pastor Fusspot has to know this. No one can be
that stupid.
So in one
ill-advised action, Pastor Fusspot has lost his church their worship team, two
of the only people in the congregation who know how to work the sound board,
the person in charge of coffee and snacks in the cafe who also organizes almost all of our big events, several of the people who volunteer at all out our outreach
events, two council members, two Church Board members..... basically if the
church was a chair, he just cut off three of its legs.
I'm starting to have heart palpitations, so I think I'll stop now. If you've made it this far, I give you a virtual hug. Because I think I need a hug.
*Once upon a
time I tried getting involved with leading Youth Group. I just wanted maybe one
weekend a month, to get the kids doing arts and music and whatnot. My request
was not even denied by Pastor Fusspot, it was ignored. And then a month later
Pastor Fusspot hands total control of Youth Group to Lil Bro#2 for the entire
summer, and Lil Bro#2 didn't even ask for it.
**April told me
afterwards when we met for a few beers one evening that she had tried to set up
a sort of sub group of Youth Group to get the kids involved with music. This
was also ignored.
