You know I wanted something pretty for my wife, but the judge frowned and sentenced me to life.

Occasionally I stop complaining and being sarcastic to tackle real issues. I shall try to do that again....

So gay marriage is legal now and we as a nation are all awaiting the moment that pastor sets himself on fire, like he promised.

I've talked about this before, but I have to say it again. I really just cannot understand WHY so many "Christians" get so bent out of shape over gayness. Even from the most extreme Bible-thumping standpoint, nowhere in the Bible does it say that homosexuality is worse than any other sin. In the New Testament, Jesus says nothing about homosexuality. He does, however, get pretty clear in His opinions about divorce. But no one gets bent out of shape over divorce anymore. It's Paul who condemns homosexuality in the New Testament, and Paul was an extremely devout Jew before he became a Christian, and believed homosexuality was as much of an abomination as eating shellfish (Leviticus 11:10). 

Last week, Warwick, NY had its second LGBT parade. Last year we had one lone protester. A bunch of us from Warwick Assembly of God were wandering around the parade handing out free bottles of water (because it was really freaking hot) and trying to spread the message that EVERYONE is welcome in our church. Our pastor gave the kind of pathetic-looking lone protester a water bottle and told him Jesus is love, not hate. This year, there were no protesters at the parade, and we handed out even more water bottles because it was even hotter than last year. We are the only church in the Warwick area to get involved in the LGBT parade. One out of like 20+. 

When I see photos or footage of people protesting gay rights trying to spread these horrible messages of "God hates gays," it makes me want to cry. It is nothing but hate, and hate does not come from God. Hate is the devil, because it is one of the surest ways of turning people away from God. All of those hateful protesters have not only unknowingly turned themselves away from Christ; by their words and actions and the example they set, they turn countless others away from Him as well. They are doing the devil's work under the guise of Christianity and it makes me sick.

Love one another. Over and over and over again in the New Testament, the same message. Love one another.

Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.

Have a good weekend, y'all. Try not to go around flashing a questionable flag in case someone gets offended. 

Did I mention I've decided to run for president?

You look like a pauper, but that's incidental.

I don't really have anything exciting or interesting to write about, so I'll just ramble and complain for a bit.

Mainly I wanted to share this article because FINALLY someone said it.

I have been trying to explain to mumsy dearest for YEEEEEEEEEEEEARS why her diet of Special K, FiberOne bars, Activia, and Lean Cuisines is not making her lose weight. Bosslady is on pretty much the same diet and also wonders why she never loses weight. We have the same conversation like three times a day in the office:

Bosslady: "Want some of this [godawful diet food marketed towards women]?"

Mich: "Is one of the first three ingredients sugar?"

Bosslady: [[reads]] "Yes."

Mich: "No, thank you."

Go grab the first "healthy"/"diet" food you can find. One of the first three ingredients is sugar. "Healthy"/"Low fat" salad dressing? I guarantee the ingredients label reads: water, distilled vinegar, sugar.

sugar

sugar

sugar

sugar

sugar

sugar

sugar

sugar 

it's in freaking everything like I go to buy BREAD for the house and the second ingredient is mothertrucking sugar THERE SHOULD NOT BE SUGAR IN BREAD you do not actually need sugar to activate the yeast I promise.

I do not recall precisely when I stopped eating carbs. I did it so that I can maintain my weight whilst also being the laziest person alive, and it seems to be working. At some point, it morphed into kind of my own version of the Paleo diet--I eat mostly protein and green vegetables, and try to stay away from processed crap that is nothing but garbage and sugar disguised as food.

I make allowances for beer, because beer is amazing.

(I live on meat and beer. My family lives in absolute confusion as to why I'm the only one who hardly ever gets sick.)

...In other news....

- There is a giant hole in my kitchen ceiling. Apparently, the morons who built mumsy's condo just left the bathtub sitting in the upstairs bathroom, they did not actually install it. Lil Sis had a bath instead of a shower the other night, and most of the water ended up in the light fixtures in the kitchen, which any rocket scientist could probably tell you is a bad place to put water.

- Yesterday, for no reason other than my own amusement, I went into Bossman's mouse settings and changed it to the slowest possible speed. There was much profanity, and amusement was achieved.

- It's really f**king hot out. Like it's disgusting and it needs to stop.

- Did y'all know the concept of air conditioning was invented in Ancient Egypt?

- This year's father's day card was a masterpiece:

Big Sis#1 with the books, Lil Bro#1 throwing a tantrum, Big Sis#2 flying, and me and Lil Bro#2 setting things on fire. Accurate.

- I have booked the motels for Kentucky at the end of September and I am super excited.

:D :D :D

- Does anyone else watch Defiance?? I refuse to believe I'm the only one because it's the best show on television and I have no one with whom to discuss it.