B is for Boots That Should Not Cost $150.00

Last winter, Lil Sis insisted that she absolutely positively had to have a pair of good rain boots. And she proceeded to spend $150.00 of Mum's well earned money on a pair of wellies.

Seriously.

I didn't find out they cost $150.00 until Lil Sis shouted at me when I borrowed them to do some gardening, and got them muddy.

They're wellies. As kids, we had closets full of wellies, and none of them belonged to anyone in particular--you just grabbed a pair and the slowest person got stuck with the crap wellies that had holes in the bottom. You can get a pair of wellies down the shops for $15.00. But because someone stuck that little logo on them, people pay $150.00 and call it fashion.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

I feel like this is false advertising. Wellies are not for looking trendy. They're for gallivanting around in the bogs and farming and herding your sheep. They should opt for a more honest ad campaign I think.

I am so getting sued for this.

A is for A Name No One Can Pronounce

...or, A is for Aisling.

Every single one of you who read that as "aiZ-ling," I want you to do me a solid and slap yourself across the face. Now you know how I've felt for the past nearly 30 years.

Aisling, an extremely Irish name, is pronounced ASH-ling.

I'll say that again because hardly anyone can comprehend it the first time.

ASH-ling.

Not aiz-ling or ice-ling or ize-ling or ace-ling, not Ashley, AND FOR FECK'S SAKE before you go calling someone "ass-ling", stop and ask yourself what parent would actually name their child ass-ling. Seriously. EVERY TIME YOU CALL ME ASSLING, GOD MURDERS 100 PUPPIES.

I am aware that Irish phonetics are bizarre. All of our names are ridiculous. Like my sister's--Siobhán, which is pronounced "sha-vaun" (and for the love of God not sha-VAHN like all her American friends call her). Or one of my fav girl's names--Siaorse, which is pronounced "seer-sha." Or my fav boy's name--Eoin, which is the same as "owen."

I was going to use Granuaile as an example, but I don't even know how to spell the pronunciation. However, Granuaile fecking ruled and her name also fecking rules.

We get a lot of foreign clients with weird names. But there is this magical thing called Google, where you can search how to pronounce a name.

Ok fine I'll try with Granuaile. It's more or less pronounced "grawn-ya-wale." Wrap your head round that one. The Brits couldn't so they re-named her Grace O'Malley.