1. Have you ever talked
your way out of a ticket (bad grade, punishment)? If so, how?
Oh goodness...adding
"bad grade" and "punishment" just made my answer potentially several
pages long. I've always been one of those @ssholes who refuses to abide by
silly things like rules when they interfere with my own personal wants and
needs, and my general attitude is such that I tend to get away with this sort
of behaviour about 98% of the time. High school is probably the best
example--the teachers and other various authority figures all eventually gave
up giving me punishments like failing grades or detentions. By the end of
senior year, my homeroom/history teacher was actually starting class 15 minutes
late to accommodate my morning schedule. And the vice principal and I came to
an "agreement" in which I never had to serve detention ever (because
by then I had accumulated so many detentions that if I actually started
showing up to those detentions, he would have been stuck after school every day
of the week for the foreseeable future).
Not many teachers had a problem with
this, either. One who did was the evil troll-hag that lurked in the basement of my
first high school, the one who tried to give me detentions for
"non-uniform" shirts and shoes pretty much every day. I stopped
showing up to those detentions fairly early on and the Troll-hag complained to
the principal, Sister Ellen. I heard from my fav teacher, Sister Linda, that
apparently Sister Ellen told Troll-Hag to just forget about it and leave me
alone because "there's just no point."
(≧∇≦)
I think my fav ever though
is how I passed geometry sophomore year.
Mr. Crucio and I did not
get along. This was when I still attended the Catholic high school, and in that
school, the teachers rotated cafeteria monitoring. (We didn't have monitors in
the public school, and I'm not really sure what the administrators of the
Catholic school thought we would get up to if left to our own devices...) Most
of the teachers on monitor duty just hung out with the lunch ladies, or
occasionally the "cooler" teachers would mingle with the students. (I
liked it best when Sister Linda monitored; she would sit at my table to eat
lunch.)
But Mr. Crucio took his
cafeteria monitoring duties very seriously. On the days he monitored us, it
went from lunch time in a school cafeteria to lunch time at a maximum security
penitentiary.
He actually would not allow
us to leave the cafeteria.
Which was totally stupid,
because a lot of us liked to occasionally go to the library during lunch (read:
sneak outside to smoke; I'm sure there were good students who actually went to
the library, but I was not one of them) or go to the school store and buy
candy. Or I dunno, go to the bathroom. Or leave the cafeteria early to stop at our
lockers. None of the other teachers ever stopped us from leaving the cafeteria
during the lunch period. Just Mr. Crucio.
The simple solution to this
was to leave the cafeteria via the back door. Sure he'd yell and stuff when he
saw you leaving, but by the time he shuffled all the way across the cafeteria,
you'd be well on your way upstairs.
But after a few weeks, Mr.
Crucio caught on to this and started monitoring from the middle of the
cafeteria, where he could cover both exits. That still didn't stop me from
leaving as soon as his back was turned, so eventually it became his personal
mission to make sure Mich stayed in the cafeteria.
Game on, b*tch.
I never understood why
everyone else was afraid of "getting in trouble." I mean what the
heck could the teachers actually do to you? They weren't allowed to use
corporal punishment. Sure Sister Clara had ignored that law, but I had
never encountered any other teachers that hit us. So what else could they do? Yell at you? Oh man, I'm scared now!
-_____-
Mr. Crucio got more and
more intense at cafeteria monitoring to the point where he was pretty much
circling my lunch table like an effing shark to make sure I stayed there.
Eventually, I got fed up with this. I attempted reasoning with him. I just
wanted to go to the library; none of the other teachers had a problem with
students leaving the cafeteria before the end of the lunch period; none of the other lunch monitors said
we weren't allowed to leave; etc., etc. But Mr. Crucio would not be swayed.
Even when his monitoring-partner (my gym teacher) tried to argue my case ("For God's sake, just let her leave."), he would not
budge.
And so Mich lost her temper.
In front of half of the school.
Ever watch that episode of
Fawlty Towers with the Germans?
Yes, ladies and gents--I
stood up on the table, gave Mr. Crucio a sieg heil,
and then did that walk right out of the cafeteria with him too stunned to even chase after me and yell.
and then did that walk right out of the cafeteria with him too stunned to even chase after me and yell.
The next morning I received
a notice that I was suspended from school for a week. (My thoughts: SCORE, week-long vacation! :D)
That afternoon, I received
a notice that I was no longer suspended for a week, but instead would have a
three-day in-school suspension.
The morning after that, I
received a notice that I would have a one-day in-school suspension, with a
handwritten note at the bottom from the principal: "PLEASE just stay in
the cafeteria when he's there."
(I thought I had saved
that notice, but after an intense search of my bedroom I have come up with nothing.)
Throughout all of this, Mr.
Crucio was my geometry teacher. I suck at math in general, but I suck twice as
bad at geometry. That plus Crucio's blind hatred of me resulted in a big
fat F at the end of the year.
So the day before the year
ended, I did what I always did with the teachers who were threatening to fail
me--paid them a visit and talked them into giving me a passing grade. Mostly I
just had to do this for math and Spanish and sometimes science, and it usually
took no more than 10 minutes. But--not surprisingly--Mr. Crucio did not want to
give me a passing grade.
It took all of my restraint
not to come right out and call him a MORON.
Mich: "You are aware
that you are the only geometry teacher in the school, yes?"
Mr. Crucio:
Mich: "Do you really
want to have me in your class AGAIN next year?"
Mr. Crucio:
"Jesus..."
And that is how Mich got a
D in geometry.
2. Peter Piper picked a
peck of pickled peppers. Why the heck would he do a thing like that?
- OBVS so I could cook them
into a delicious stir fry.
3. You hear strange noises
and run to your neighbor's place to find out what's going on. She's clutching a
marble lamp, and her husband lies dead on the floor. You've seen suspicious
bruises on her before, but she doesn't have any now. What do you do?
Casually mention that
lye and hydrofluoric acid can do wonders. And that as far as I know, no one ever
does any intense hiking on this one particular trail at the Ramapo Mountain
State Forest. The trail isn't even actually marked....
Oh yeah and I didn't see
nothin.
4. Andy Griffith, Dick van
Dyke, or Lucille Ball?
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuucy!!!
5. Is the glass half empty
or half full? What on earth is in that glass, anyway?
Either way, WHERE THE HECK
IS MY WAITER because obviously I need a refill. Allagash White, and pour it
CORRECTLY if you please.
6. Lots of casual friends
or a few close ones?
Idk.....depends on my mood.
I received two lovely
packages this weekend, and shall now gush over the contents of said packages. I
am not doing this to show off, mind you--this is so the angels who sent the
packages are getting proper thanks and appreciation.
I got Peri's package on
Friday.
There was some lovely
manicure things; lotion, which says I should use it sparingly but which I have
been using every half hour; some delicious colours of embroidery thread; a lovely pair of earrings; a little
dog-money-squirrel thingy in a little house; a fun turtle craft project; and a FANTASTIC diary.
 |
| ...so much win... |
Then Jeanne's package
arrived on Saturday:
I got some awesome new
books, a cigarette rolly thingy (1st attempt = epic fail, but sure try try
again), some yummy lip balm, Hello Kitty ribbon I've been wearing in my hair,
a set of pink bracelets, and this GORGEOUS set of knitwear:
a set of pink bracelets, and this GORGEOUS set of knitwear:
You gals definitely spoil me far too much. <3
