I haven't been awake for 10 minutes and Mum's already starting.
Mum: "How do I get the TV to change channels?"
[We just switched over to Optimum/cable from Direct TV/satellite.]
Me: ::thinking very fast because to not answer fast enough and in a pleasant tone = death:: "What do you mean? Like how do you switch it from the channel we use for the DVD player? You just hit the same button as we did with the satellite."
Mum: "NEVER MIND I'LL JUST F*CKING DO IT MYSELF!"
Me: ....."What?"
Mum: "I ASK YOU ONE BLOODY QUESTION; YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET SO NASTY!"
If I had presented her with flowers and a trophy and bowed down as low as I could get before answering her question, she probably would have said the same thing whilst kicking me in the face.
We're supposed to leave for the shore at 11. I really don't want to go. But if I say I don't want to go because I don't want to fight with her for 5 days, it will be my fault, Mum will yell at me, and then she will either not go or be a grump the whole time and blame me either way for ruining her holiday. As per usual when it comes to Mum and her psycho-bad-moods, I cannot win. I must go.
My stuff, packed:
...and I haven't even packed my toiletries yet. I guess the Rules of Hoarding also apply to travel. How hot is my Little Mermaid suitcase?
I was a very good girl yesterday. I had breakfast (150), 2 fiber bars (200), and a lean cuisine (280) for a total of 630. Exercise burned about 700, so that left me at a total of -70.So far today I had half a bowl of corn flakes and a little milk (70). I am not eating again until I'm forced to eat dinner. Down the shore, I shall have to eat ONLY when Mum and Sis are watching.
Went hiking twice this weekend. I got really excited on Saturday because the woods smelled like autumn. I hope that means we'll have an early autumn, because summer seriously sucked this year. It was hot and humid (like up in the 90's hot) almost every effing day. This is god punishing us for last summer, which was lovely and cold and rainy until the last week in August, when it got a little bit hotter, and then cooled down as soon as September showed up. Best summer ever.
Look, it's a hawk eating a chipmunk!!
You can't see it properly, but it was there. He sat up on that utility pole and chowed down on the chipmunk for like 20 minutes.Then he got annoyed (perhaps because we were watching and taking photos of him) and flew away.
Tomorrow, I am off to the beach with my Little Sis, her Friend, and ..... my Mother. We shall be there, at a nice non-white-trash beach just above ... ::gag:: Seaside. (I don't know either, but I'm scared).
For those of you unfamiliar with the Jersey Shore: Seaside is to beach as double-wide is to living space.
And DO NOT believe any of the classless rubbish you see on that awful television show, Jersey Shore. Those arseholes aren't even from New Jersey!!! Those are the kinds of people that us NJ natives hate, because they come into our glorious state thinking they can just have the craic down the shore and make retards of themselves at our expense. I'm pretty sure Snookie is the missing link. And that guy with the mutant abs should have been drowned at birth.
Seriously, that show makes me want to rip my hair out and start supporting the mass extermination of idiots.
...Anyway, back to my shore trip. I am not thin enough for the beach. Since the 3-day Master Cleanse last week, I am back up to 104 and my weight will not budge, no matter how many hours I work out or how little I eat. I shall have to amp up the workouts and eat even less, as I am going to the beach again at the end of the month and I absolutely cannot be seen on Long Beach Island (LBI is to beach as mansion is to home) unless I weigh 101 lbs or less.
I also don't know how I'm going to survive 5 days alone with Mum. Little Sis and Friend will be off doing their own thing, which means Mum will be following me around like a lost puppy because she is terrified of being alone and is incapable of entertaining herself. She also has not mastered the whole idea of inner monologue, so any peace and quiet I hope to have will be shattered fairly early on. I plan on taking long, looooong walks since I'll have no treadmill. That should by me some quiet alone time.
(That spot is in Old Tappan, NJ - not a long walk, but it's lovely and quiet, and oh so pretty.)
