Monday, March 12, 2012

Have a biscuit, Potter.

A short update, because that last post was kind of dramatic. 


I'm having a rough start this Monday. The time change didn't make much of a difference to my morning, because even though I was tired and even though I took my normal dose of sleepies last night, I did not get any sleep. At all. 


My step-siblings are here. All three of them. Grendel & co. were up binge drinking and making a HUGE bloody racket until 5.00 this morning. And in their drunken stupors, they forgot to take all their stuff from the kitchen when they eventually slithered off to bed. This morning on the counter, I found a load of paperwork on how to put someone into a senior home and have it paid through Medicare or Medicaid, which means the step-sibs plan to have step-dad shipped off somewhere asap so they can go forward with their plans to take my house. How do I know that's their plan? Welllllll, along with all the medicaid/senior home stuff, I also found two different CMA's for MY HOUSE. 
>:(


...I can't even talk about this fully right now; it's just too headachy. So instead I shall discuss something more positive. 


Although I would very much like to go about getting deliciously evil revenge on vitamin*-nemesis, I have decided to cut my losses and move on. 


Because I am quitting the vitamins*. For good. 


It's strange how something can start so small, and before you know it or even realize it, you're stuck in this awful, repetitive, completely self-destructive behavior pattern. And you feel trapped in it. Like there's no possible light if you ever manage to crawl out of that tunnel. 


I had a similar "epiphany" last night as I did that time in December, when I made my largest step forward with ED recovery. (And oddly enough, last night I was also watching Lord of the Rings...). One of those "OMG how the hell did it come to this?!?" kind of moments. 


So I went through my bedroom, dug out every last vitamin*, and flushed all of them down the toilet. 


And afterwards, it honestly felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. 


So that's why there will probably be no revenge. I want nothing more to do with vitamin*-nemesis; and I want nothing more to do with vitamins*. It might be hellish for the first week or two, getting back to exercising without them, but I'm not going to give in. Every ache and every drop of sweat will be proof that I've given it up. I'd rather feel the aches than feel nothing, and that's really all that the vitamins* do--it's a way of completely numbing yourself to the world. And I'm sick of being numb. 


Hope you all have a nice start of the week! Every single one of you deserves nice, happy days and don't you ever forget it. ♥


22 comments:

  1. I'm glad to hear that you're giving up on these things Mich. Sometimes it can be hard but you've definitely made the right choice to just throw them away and move on, here's wishing you the best of luck with quitting them!

    It's a kind of shame you've given up on your revenge though, I need some inspiration for revenge myself right now.

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  2. Fecking good for you Mich, revenge is a dish best served cold anyaway....

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  3. I didn't know your step dad wasn't well? Howsabout I pop over to NJ and whoop some step bum for you...

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  4. First the kitty, then the vitamin* dealer, now the step-family drama...how do you keep it all together? And in the face of all this madness you're all zen and in control and achieving/attempting all this personal growth? That's fantastic.

    Flush all those vitamins* and don't look back. Sounds like LOTR works better anyway. :)

    xoxo

    p.s. shameless self-promotion time: http://pedestrianwriter.blogspot.com/
    for your blogroll consideration? I think my old one is still up there (speaking of personal growth. oi.)

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  5. I'm happy for you that you're kicking your habit, but that's really not cool about the house thing. I hope it all works out for you, it seems too often people don't get what they deserve and people often take what isn't theirs.Good luck.

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  6. Best quote of HP! I was seriously going to make that the next quote of my next post...ah well, you beat me to it! Don't let your step-folks take your house. You've got the stones in you to stand up and tell them all where to go! As for the revenge, I've made up this quote: "The Lord says, 'Vengeance is mine,' but that doesn't mean I can't help Him out a bit!" I'm glad your quitting the vitamins- you'll be much better off without them. I guess the who vitamin fiasco of last post is good in a way, because now you have the chance to start off better. Also, how do you make your blog header? It's really nice! ♥

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  7. You are amazing x A million + more.

    <3

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  8. I'm glad your kicking the vitamins, it takes a strong person to do that! And you are a very strong person :) xxx

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  9. I don't know where you find you stores of conviction, but I wish I had even half of it. Good luck!

    I hope your step-sibs all come down with dysentery.

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  10. Mich you are a wizard level bad ass. The best revenge you could ever get is the one you chose--to QUIT. Fuck vitamins. You can't control what other people do, only what you do. And if you quit then who cares. And you just DID it. That's such a genius idea I didn't even think of it and I'm in recovery (AA)

    Facebook me your number if you want pep talk boosters during the day

    love ya
    hearts

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  11. Good on you quitting the vitamins*
    That is the best revenge you could do against those thieves too. YOU ROCK!

    Sounds like saving your house would be a better project anyway. Unless you don't like your house.
    Either way.. I hope you have put your legal know-how to good use and keep your finances away from the step-siblings' grubby hands!

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  12. YES! You don't need those vitamins anyway...you ARE vitamins, duh.

    As for your step-sibs, would you consider consulting your boss about the best way to keep those fuckers from screwing you over?

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  13. Good for you for getting rid of them, though next time take them to a pharmacy or some place similar where they can properly dispose of them.

    Flushing is not good for the environment! D:

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  14. Try to relax, dont let the stress get to you.

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  15. Like. Whoa.

    First thing, congrats on your decision to give up vitamins* for good. You'll be so much better off without them, which you already know. My hat is off to you, Miss Mich!

    As for your step-siblings... WTF? Do they not like their own father? That seems so awful, considering going into a home is not the best choice for most people, and Medicare/Medicaid don't really cover that stuff. Long-term care insurance is something you have to think about long before you need the long-term care... otherwise they will just be selling the house to pay for it, not taking it to live in it!

    People are obnoxious... not that you didn't already know that.

    Anyway, lots of love Michy...

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  16. Ah, yet another thing we have in common, step-twats! I really hope they bugger off and soon! They can do what they like with 'pops', but they have no business taking your house! Bastards! I hope their bits rot off!

    Well done quitting the vits! As always, I'm deeply proud of you! Wouldn't it be funny if you suddenly start sleeping now that you no longer need them?! Typical!

    Hope the week gets better. Love you. :)

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  17. This is awesome news! Good luck with the new out look on life!

    The opposite of love isn't hate its indifference. So yes be indifferent to those who have wronged you!... then again you moving on might piss off your vitamin nemisis and end up being the best revenge! so it all might work its self out in the end!

    Good luck with your new change in lifestyle! I hope you have a great week!

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  18. Proud of you! Good decision!

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  19. You are A-FUCKING-MAZING and deserve the biggest high-five ever seen in this universe!

    Every ache, every tired muscle is a victory, claiming your 'selfness' back from Ed and Vitamins.

    Don't let externals define your internals.

    P.S.
    Your St Paddys gear got here last week. Thank you so much! It was the perfect cheer-up thing to get :) Since they're the only green things I have I'm wearing them ALL to my mate's St.Patrick's flatwarming. You've saved me from under-dresses disaster!

    *hugs*

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  20. This made me think of you. (I would guess you've probably already seen it!)

    http://www.themovies.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/LOTR-Drinking-Game.jpg

    Very proud of you!

    Hope things are going okay xxxxx

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  21. Oh, Mich, you are doing amazing! So much better than me!

    i cannot put in to words how much i admire you! You are my idol for ever and ever!

    As always, i have no words to know what to say, you are such a precious, dear darling in my life. If only i could be like you! You are a terrific example to an old person!

    Love you lots,
    tracy

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  22. So much has been going on! Sorry for not being around. (p.s. this is how stupid I am: I always wonder why your posts never show up in my dashboard, and I've only just figured out that it's because I'm not 'following' you when I thought I was. Doh! How long have I been reading your blog, eh?? I'll sort that out in a minute...)

    I think that's marvelous about the vitamin flushing - you have the strength :) A few days have passed now, so I hope things are going ok and are manageable.

    As for the house situation: EH?!! I can't believe that. I don't know much about house-related laws - especially over in the states - but I really hope all this works out in your favour.

    Hope you are ok, missus, and I have a couple more finished drawings to whack through the scanner for you this weekend :D
    x

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